Fifty Shades of an Idiot


You may remember a while a go I entered a competition the Edge radio station’s “Forbidden Fiction” competition and won $500 with my story “The Sexiest Thing a Man Can Do” – a tounge-in-cheek take on the Fifty Shades of Gray franchise.

Well, with the movie adaption of the book being released a week or two ago, the Edge had another competition to win tickets to the premiere and I couldn’t resist having another go. I didn’t win, but still think my entry is worth sharing.

Don’t worry – It’s only NSFW if you have a dirty mind 😉

So here you go:

When they had started work at The Edge, Jay-Jay, Mike & Dom had been told their boss, Mr Wratt was a strict disciplinarian who always got what he wanted. Over time they had developed a close bond and a mutual affection had grown between them. He had even allowed them to call him by his first name – Leon.
But today things had gotten just too dirty. The Morning Madhouse trio had been very naughty and had to be punished.
Their sodden clothes lay discarded in the corner of the studio, leaving them wearing only their underwear.
Dom sat tied to his chair by microphone leads; his shirt had been rolled up and tied across his mouth, gagging him.
Jay-Jay stood next to him, her fingers pinching and twisting, her hands rubbing up and down furiously through layers of whipped cream and chocolate sauce.
Opposite her, Mike grasped a shaft so thick and stiff it required a double-handed grip. He was thrusting it backwards and forwards with reckless abandon. With each stroke it made a moist sucking sound, eliciting a muffled, gleeful giggle from Dom.
The studio windows had started to fog up when the door burst open and Leon’s chiselled form strode in, inspecting the debauched scene.
“Jay-Jay – have you finished cleaning the control desk?”
“Yes, Mr Wratt!”
“Mike – how is the carpet shampooing coming along?”
“Almost done, sir!
“Mfftphhtdfft!” grunted Dom from under his gag.
“Don’t you even bloody start, Dominic!” Growled Leon
“Having a frappuccino fight live on air was your stupid idea in the first place! Now you’ll just have to sit there and think about what you’ve done while your colleagues clean up your mess!
Jay-Jay and Mike both leered at him.
“This would make an awesome book” Thought Dom
“Fifty Shades of an Idiot!”

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