Category Archives: Media

Ducking out to the Cricket

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"Quack, Quack!"

“Quack, Quack!”

Well, I had an interesting night last Friday!

The “Georgie Pie Super Smash” was in town, with New Zealand’s domestic cricket teams fighting it out for T20 supremacy. As you know, I love cricket, so when the call went out for people to give a hand I readily volunteered. You probably even saw me there, but I doubt you would have recognised me.

Aside from the cricket, there were other events around the ground on the weekend – a bouncy castle, trade stalls on Saturday and Sunday and team mascots roaming the grounds.

I was one of them.

Well, more precisely, I was an impartial mascot – I was a giant duck! (careful on the spelling there, buddy…)

Whenever any batsman got out for zero runs or a “Duck” in cricket, it was my job to tramp out onto the field, pack a hissy fit and then dejectedly drag my bat back to my post on the boundary until the next duck happened.

There were three on the night I was dabbling as Daffy – which made me not only the tallest duck of the weekend, but also one of the busiest.

It almost didn’t happen, though. As the game was just getting under way an thunderstorm rolled over Napier pelting the ground in a mini down-pour and adding some special effects to proceedings as thunder rolled and lightning arced across the sky (cue nervous glances to the giant metal light towers surrounding the ground)

The ground announcer proceeded to play Prince’s “Purple Rain”, followed by Guns & Roses’ perfectly timed “November Rain”.

I love 90’s rock, so couldn’t resist waddling out to the field and launching into an epic “Ducky Hendrix” air guitar cover of Slash’s great guitar work on his bat to entertain the crowd… right up until “November Rain” was mercilessly cut short (somewhere around Saturday the 22nd) and faded into the next song, just as the biggest, best guitar solo of the song was about to kick in.

Duck’s head dropped disconsolately, his posture slouched and once again he trudged off the field dragging his bat.

Ducky Hendrix had left the building.

Hospital Site Napier’s – Not Tourists’!

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Below is my Letter to the Editor that appeared in the Hawke’s Bay Today this morning (Friday November 28 2014)

Napier's Hospital site - once a place for everyone may soon become a place for only tourists and the well-off.

Napier’s Hospital site – once a place for everyone may soon become a place for only tourists and the well-off.

“The Art Deco Trust says plans for a residential development on Napier’s old hilltop hospital site have neglected a major tourism opportunity for the city”

Here we go again… “Tourism, tourism, tourism, blah, blah, blah” Give us a break and please give someone other than the ADT a chance to speak!

Napier’s hospital site has NOTHING to do with tourists and EVERYTHING to do with Napier residents.

Many of us were born there, some of us died there and a great many more were treated there over the many years it was in operation.

It has links to the literal and figurative heart of Napier and its residents. It is NOT yet another gaudy trap for visitors to “ooh” and “aaah” from and at.

Certain “local leaders” need to take a step back and stop trying to turn everything about our city into something to be sold to short-staying tourists and start focusing on Napier’s residents who live here 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 52 weeks a year – THEY bring far more to our city than any day-tripping, “cruise in, cruise out over the summer months” tourist ever could, so stop sucking up to this moneyed meandering minority!

Speaking of moneyed minorities, it would have been nice to see any housing development on the hospital site as something reasonable and affordable for local families, rather than even more apartments (have all the ones built in Ahuriri years ago sold yet?) and their “lavish,” “luxury living” subdivision.

The current plan not only gives a “two fingered salute” to the memory of Napier’s healthcare system but also to all us mere mortals, living on the surrounding plains, being looked down upon on from the hill-top heights of luxury.

Jackson Pollock Junior

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Our daughter's latest instilation: "Aftermath of Corn & Tuna for Tea"

Our daughter’s latest instilation: “Aftermath of Corn & Tuna for Tea”

It’s something we haven’t heard of in a while, but after surveying the aftermath of a recent “Baby in Frame” feeding time I was reminded of just how popular “child prodigies” used to be a while ago.

Little “Sebastian” or “Juniper” (they always seemed to have quite ‘alternative’ names – I guess “Jack” and “Jill” were too busy playing with their Lego, My Little Pony, or off somewhere “fetching water”) would just happen to have an incident involving pots of paint and a canvas / wall / pet hamster and lo and behold: It. Was. Art!

And not just your regular

“Hey Mum, look what I painted!”
“A horsey, that’s nice dear!”
“No, Mum, It’s Dad, you and me!”
“Oh..” art

This stuff was somehow worth THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS and featured in flash art galleries alongside dirty sheets and primate impressionists.

Quite often these midget magnum opuses seemed to resemble minimalist impressions of Jackson Pollock or the like – to you and I random squiggles on a page that literally did look like a toddler painted them because, well, one did!

After a brief flare of popularity, like many artists, their light and work faded into obscurity, never to be seen or heard from again.

The “child prodigy” phenomena equally faded into obscurity. Possibly because artistic tastes changed, maybe because we’ve all become a bit jaded and cautious of such fads these days, or perhaps because with “reality” television and the world wide web, every pint-sized Jackson, Frida and Leonardo can have their work viewed from anywhere at any time taking a bit of the mystique out of it.

I can’t help but wonder how a child art prodigy promoter would cope with the modern world’s more cynical outlook on life. If one was to knock on our door, I imagine the conversation would go something like this:

“I see your baby was using quite earthy tones – were they influenced by Monet’s earlier works?
“Nope, that’s just poop”
“Oh. What about those gorgeous, verdant greens?”
“That’s poop too. She had a thing for kiwifruit, peas and broccoli that week”
“And the watercolours are…?”
“She was really thirsty that week too…”
“Ah…”
“Yup.”

There may yet be hope for our budding baby artist, though. The other week “Baby in Frame” had a big dinner of pasta and tomato sauce. We wiped her face afterwards and this was the resulting imprint on the face cloth:

tiki

I wonder if that’s how Dick Frizzell got started…

I Heart the Heart of Hastings

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The heart of "The Heart of Hawke's Bay"

The heart of “The Heart of Hawke’s Bay”

I originally wrote this for a local page called “Fruitbowl” back in 2012.

Unfortunately, like a lot of things in Hawke’s Bay, it can take a while for action to happen. So I wasn’t surprised to read an article in the latest (November-December 2014) Baybuzz magazine decrying the neglect central Hastings is still facing TWO YEARS after I wrote my piece

What I want to know is how come Little old me can pick up on and write about things like this two years before other local media (closer to 5-10 years for our local government) and STILL NOTHING IS DONE ABOUT IT??!!

Maybe if more people read it something might actually eventuate, so here we go:

“I Heart the Heart of Hastings”

Hastings – The Heart of Hawke’s Bay has a problem. It’s a recurring problem and it could prove fatal, because the problem is with the heart of Hastings.

There’s an old saying that goes “Those who choose to ignore the past are doomed to relive it”.
Call it history repeating (sorry, Split Enz, but you were wrong on this one) or déjà vu, but hasn’t Hastings’ CBD been through almost the exact same problems they are currently facing all too recently?

Growing up in Napier in the 80’s a trip to Hastings was always a treat and an adventure. When Fantasyland, Bunker’s Toyworld, Rush Munroe’s and McDonalds (Hastings had theirs for a number of years before the golden arches arrived in Napier) beckoned, how could you resist?

It may not have been as big, exotic, or distant as Wellington or Auckland, but it was different to Napier and that was fascinating enough to me. Even today, while it doesn’t seem as exotic or far away as it used to, there are businesses in central Hastings that I won’t hesitate to go to, as I know they specialise in what I am after.

For decades Hastings’ CBD revolved around Heretaunga Street, the clock tower and railway line.
The old ring-road system, while a bit of an annoyance, actually helped keep the central city busy by making traffic loop around continuously and inevitably made people walk a bit further from their parking space to their destination – making the town look busier through more pedestrians and increasing the chance of impulse-buying at the shops they passed.

In the 90’s the ring-road system was scrapped, Kmart and the The Warehouse opened their large-format outlets across the other side of Queen Street, a mere few hundred meters away from Heretaunga Street and it almost killed off business in central Hastings outright.

While doing my Diploma in Marketing at EIT in 1998, one of our tasks was to come up with a concept (that was to be passed onto the Hastings District Council presumably) to help draw people back into the CBD. My plan involved moving the Information Centre into the (then empty) Westerman’s building and the bus / train station across the road from there. I was a mixture of delighted and wondering where my consultant’s fee was when I saw that happen a few years later.

The central city had a brief renaissance recently with, for a time, less empty shops than Napier’s CBD. But then along came Charter Hall with big money and big plans for big stores even further out from the centre of central Hastings and off we went again!

Promises and plans are made and broken. The plans for the unsold big stores kept getting smaller and smaller. That was not HDC’s problem, rather Charter Hall biting off more than they can chew. So why should the council bend their plans and rules to suit? How readily do they do that for small, local businesses? Hastings’ central city retailers and their association cried foul and protested to the council. HDC looked concerned and scratched its head. How many times does this have to happen before they learn?

The Hastings District Council said they didn’t have enough money put aside to do up all of central Heretaunga Street in one go as was planned. Focusing instead on the area around another development – the new Farmers store (at least this project is set to bring some activity back to the city centre). Yet somehow money was found to vastly improve access to the Nelson Park development, including putting in traffic lights across St Aubyn Street and extending the old railway station access road through to it, drawing even more traffic away from the heart of the CBD. Now further expensive expansion is planned for the Regional Sports Park. Where is the money they “can’t afford” coming from for this?

If Hastings District Council can’t afford to look after Heretaunga St, what happens if things turn messy, expensive or legal with Charter Hall, or whoever else may come along with deep pockets and big promises for that matter? What other concessions will have to be made or who else will suffer?

In just these past few weeks, the Hastings City Business Association (has anyone else noticed the “Retail Strategy” page on their website is blank?) severely dented its credibility by suggesting that putting a road through the very centre of town may be the answer to the CBD’s prayers. An arterial route right through the very heart of the problem could only be another ghastly wound from which what little spirit remains in central Hastings would bleed out of.

Hastings has enough problems with roads. To head north or south you no longer need to go through Stortford Lodge or Karamu Road with the temptation of the CBD nearby. A brief glimpse while passing through the expressway’s roundabouts to destinations further afield is the most people would now regularly see of the city.

Now there is the added possibility of yet another bypass in the offering – to the more affluent and vibrant Havelock North village. Once again you wouldn’t have to go anywhere near Hastings’ CBD. So many options are given to avoid the heart of central Hastings. Where is the encouragement to lure people into it?

Roads will not cure Hastings’ CBD’s problem. Mascots, slogans and paying out of town marketing consultants thousands of dollars will not cure the problem. Further outward expansion will certainly not cure the problem and neither will ignoring the problem and hoping it goes away. I’m inclined to think the problem with the heart of Hastings can be cured with something much smaller, but far more powerful.

They say “Pride comes before a fall.” Well, confidence, business, income and value in central Hastings have all fallen, but I would like to think pride can come after a fall and help cure central Hastings’ problems.

A local government proud of their city would not continuously sell large chunks of it off to the whims of big business without looking after the needs of their current, local, rate-paying businesses first.

Authorities who take pride in their city would not let the latest generation of professional beneficiaries spend their long, idle hours occupying the main street of their CBD, where they can intimidate innocent passers-by, scare off potential customers and current businesses, or use inner city green-spaces as public bathrooms.

And I would hope that, like me, customers proud of their city would forgo the sprawling car parks and behemoth, hangar-sized big-box chain stores on the city’s periphery for the quality products, expertise and personal service of smaller, local retailers in the heart of the city.

I still “heart” the heart of “The Heart of Hawke’s Bay” (do you see what I mean about slogans?) and I’m from Napier.

The decline of central Hastings has been depressing enough, never mind the negative publicity and vibe it has generated. Some CPR (City Pride Restoration) is required. Let’s hear more from Hastings people who are proud of the heart of their city.

Let’s see Hastings District Council and local authorities prove how proud they are of their city and its people by looking after what they already have before developing further grandiose pipe-dreams (or maybe some ‘new blood’ is required in the places of civic power?).

The stronger the heart of the CBD beats, the more energy, pride and lifeblood will flow throughout the rest of the city. Letting the heart of Hastings fail is not an option if our region is to prosper.

Hastings and Hawke’s Bay deserve better!

Who Wrote it Best?

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"Antonio" (Anthony Larrington-Lewer) serves us up one of his last pizzas

“Antonio” (Anthony Larrington-Lewer) serves us up one of his last pizzas

I enjoy writing.

It gives me a mental break from my regular day job and allows my otherwise unutilised creativity and sense of humour to escape and run rampant across the page and web-sphere.

“Have you ever thought of becoming a reporter / journalist” is probably one of the most common questions I am asked along with “have you ever thought of running for council?” and “How tall are you?” / “what’s the weather like up there?”

The answers to those questions are: “Yes”, “Yes” and “six feet, eight inches” / “(spitting sound) It’s raining!”

To be more specific, I am usually asked if I have considered STUDYING to become a journalist. The answer to that is “No”.

As I’ve said before I’m not going to spend $30,000+ and three years of my life studying for something that:

A/ Won’t guarantee a job at the end of it

and

B/ Is something I already do very well, some would say even better than the “qualified” journalists.

Here-in lays the problem. Those who have studied for and gained official qualifications get the type of job that I, as a naturally talented, but “unqualified” writer can only seem to aspire to.

Conversely, there things that I can write about and opinions I can promote that professional reporters are not allowed to. No-one is telling me what I can and cannot write.

So I propose a test – a bit of a Pro-Am. Who do you think is the better writer – me, the amateur, or the professionals?

Let’s use this sample as a case study:

Last month I wrote of Antonio’s Pizza and Pasta closing after 35 years. While we were there getting our last pizza from Anthony, a friend of mine who is a photographer for the Hawke’s Bay Today came in to take photos of Anthony for an article that appeared in the paper the next day.

As I was there first and planned to blog about it when I got home, I joked that I “had the scoop” on them. As it turns out, their article appeared first in Friday morning’s paper – I published mine later on Friday afternoon.

Now let me be clear – I have nothing against professional reporters – I know and interact with several on a fairly regular basis. The Hawke’s Bay Today article was written by Doug Laing who I have never met, but from memory is one of HBT’s longest-serving journalism staff, so he must be good. This is a poll on whether you think a qualification results in a better article.

Who do you think wrote the better article – me, the “gifted amateur”, or the “qualified professionals”?

* I should mention here that there are people who are both qualified and have an outstanding natural talent. They are very lucky buggers! 😉

Don’t Mention the Empty Shops!!

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Maybe it’s because I’ve grown up in an era filled with PR and spin that I’ve become immune to a lot of the ramblings that somehow qualify as “news” or “as rote” from some Napier “leaders”.

For example, take this article from a recent edition of the Hawke’s Bay Today on how Napier retailers need to adapt to survive:

“online retailers and bricks-and-mortar stores aren’t mutually exclusive, and savvy retailers need two “faces” to thrive”

REALLY?? You don’t say!

Retail, more than most businesses is very Darwinian, in that it is constantly a case of “adapt or die”, so when online sellers become a threat, you counter that threat with your own online sales options, or taking to the likes of social media to drum up attention and custom.

That being said, though, nothing beats good, old fashioned, personal service and that is something a lot of Napier “bricks and mortar” retailers do very well, hence why they are still in business!

But the line in the article that really annoyed me – saying “Napier’s city centre is bustling, with few empty stores” is more than just a little disingenuous.

Even on its quieter days, central Napier is busier than its Hastings counterpart, for example. But “few empty shops”?

Lower Emerson Street averages at least half a dozen empty shops at any one time.

Mid-City Plaza (oxymoronically the place that is “For Lease” in the items picture) has been an empty, boarded up disgrace for years.

There was a lot of fanfare when it was announced Napier’s post office building would be saved and redeveloped, unlike nearby pre-earthquake buildings that met the wrecking ball (because they apparently don’t matter).

NZ Post returned to it’s rightful place as an anchor tenant, Vodafone and a new children’s clothing store moved in to new retail shops created in the redeveloped building, but at least half of these new shops are still empty months after work finished.

It’s more than just “a few”, it’s a waste and it doesn’t look good.

I think a better barometer for success in Napier’s current retail climate could have been gauged by a deeper, broader level of investigative journalism than used in the article.

Especially when the business leader quoted’s business receives a substantial amount of ratepayer funding each year from the city council for operating and promotion and is staffed almost entirely by a voluntary workforce.

I’m sure there would be absolutely NO empty shops in Napier if all its retailers were graced with such subsidised luxuries.

Stamp-ede!!

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Stampede

So the Mission Concert is a gonner – BIG DEAL!

I just found something just as cool, if not cooler, that’s about to hit Taradale:

“BAYPEX 2014” – the National Stamp Exhibition is coming to Taradale this weekend – from the 14th to the 16th of November!

Years ago I briefly dabbled a tiny bit in philately, or “Stamp collecting” to the lay-man, when I collected “first day covers” for special edition stamps around the turn of the millennium.

I still have them and a large number of Japanese stamps from when I made the mistake of signing up to a pen-pal programme in high school, so will be quite keen to take them along to get valued.

With stamps from across the world on display, postcards, a school stamp designing competition, postal memorabilia, other exhibits and the Australasian Challenge – dubbed “The Bledisloe Cup of Philately” (ooh!) it actually sounds really interesting – even more so when you consider how much standard “snail mail” and as a result, the trusty old postage stamp, is disappearing in this digital age.

BAYPEX opens from 10am each day and entry is free – get along!

Let’s Grow a Mo 6.0

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iMo 6.0

iMo 6.0

Things are about to get hairy once again, as Movember slowly grows upon us!

This will be my sixth year growing a moustache to help raise money and awareness of men’s health, particularly prostate cancer and depression. The cause is one very close to my heart (and face) as, like so many others, I’ve suffered from depression, am scared from cancer and if he had been more aware of his health, or more readily sought help, my dear Dad might still be here today.

A few years ago I put on a real push to raise money and ended up collecting over $230. I’d like to try and at least get close to that total again this year and I have a few ideas on how to drum up support and mo-ney for my Movember campaign.

I am a HUGE supporter of #BuyLocal and Hawke’s Bay businesses. Combine this with my hyperbolas talent with words and getting messages across in 140 characters or less and there are numerous opportunities, temporary rebrandings and partnerships that could help me get there.

Some are pretty straight forward – like:

Mo-ana Park Winery

and

Mo(re) FM

Others require a bit of creativity or editing:

Like Bay EspressMO – in particular, my usual cafe haunt in Napier: “Six Sisters”, or, for this case, “Six Mo Sistas”

An alpha-numeric swap-around makes Kent Baddeley’s fantastic restaurant, “10 Twenty Four” become “M0 Twenty Four”!

Similarly, turn the name of #Awesome local internet provider “NOW” upside down and you get “MO(N)”!

And this is only the beginning!

One of my favourite new food ventures in Napier is “Donut Robot” – a very cool little retro caravan in Carlyle Street, across the road from Countdown, who makes and sells fresh American donuts.

When cut in half, these tasty treats look remarkably like, you guessed it, moustaches! “Donut Robot” could become “Mo-nut Robot” – serving delicious sugared or iced “mo-nuts”! “Would you like sprinkles on your “Mo-nut”, sir?” (I will have to ask Steve the owner about that idea…).

There are even more fabulous ideas spinning around in my head, but I’d better keep them for later in case someone tries to flog them.

If you would like to donate to the Mo cause and help raise funding and awareness for NZ men’s health, you can do so HERE!

Mission: Impossible

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TheMiss

Well, it had to happen eventually, I guess. There will be NO Mission Concert in the foreseeable future next year.

As if recent years’ attempts to find “suitable” acts weren’t desperate enough, organisers COMPLETELY FAILED to find ANYONE this time!

As the saying goes: “You had ONE job to do…”

For all the usual hype and fluff that surrounds the build-up to what used to be one of Hawke’s Bay’s premiere summer events nothing has eventuated.

While I am not surprised – recent Mission Concerts seem to have slowly degenerated into a mass piss-up with a side order of tunes from some long-forgotten muso, I still appreciate what it did for local businesses like moteliers, cafés etc.. The failure of event organisers to actually organise ANYTHING will hurt local business badly and that’s not good enough!

There is an expression that something past its prime has “Jumped the Shark”, well, did the Mission Concert mistime its jump and fall into the shark tank, or was it pushed?

Either way Hawke’s Bay deserves better!

There’s Something About a Magpie!

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G

While a number of ITM Cup unions are struggling and NZRU chief Steve Tew bemoans the fact that only a couple of provincial unions are making more money from ITM Cup gate receipts than they are from the NZRU’s financial support one union has been flying high this season and it’s done so on black and white striped wings – the Hawke’s Bay Magpies!

I wrote a while ago that the higher level elements of rugby in New Zealand have become all about the money and not the mana.

The difference between the community-based, “grass roots” HB Magpies winning back the Ranfurly Shield and the “corporate brand” known as the All Blacks hitting Napier at the same time in September was quite noticeable.

With high ticket prices and sponsors’ endorsements to fulfil, the All Blacks seemed a bit distant.

The Magpies, by comparison, paraded the ‘Shield across the bay, let the public have photos with it – the whole nine yards.

It instilled a level of provincial pride not seen for some time in Hawke’s Bay and a sense that the public were truly part of the team.

The Magpies have gone on to defend the shield and we will now hold it through the summer into next season.

T

As holders of the Ranfurly Shield, Hawke’s Bay has contracted “Magpie Fever”!

Wherever you go, there is black and white bunting. Ranfurly Shield pictures abound (sometimes it’s actually the genuine item). HB Magpies flags flutter from passing cars and there are more Hawke’s Bay Rugby jerseys being worn around town than I have ever seen before – Kooga must be making an absolute fortune!

The other organisation reaping the rewards is the Hawke’s Bay Rugby Union, who are expecting to make an almost million dollar profit from their extremely successful season.

But unlike bigger rugby franchises, the Magpies are paying back their fans:

HBRFU commercial and marketing manager Jay Campbell announced this week that tickets for all covered seating at McLean Park (the Harris, Graeme Lowe, Rodney Green and Chapman stands) when the Magpies take on Northland in the ITM Cup Quarterfinal this Friday night will be almost half price – a mere $17.50 (equivalent Ranfurly Shield match tickets cost $32.50).

“The rugby union said the match was an unbudgeted extra, and Mr Campbell said it was now time for the public to benefit.”

Another crowd of 12,000 at Friday’s game would mean around 75,000 people had been to McLean Park to watch the Magpies and All Blacks this season – An attendance record well in excess of anything since the Magpies’ legendary 1966-69 Ranfurly Shield reign.

HBRFU hoped to attract the crowd straight from work on Friday, opening the gates at 5.30pm and entertainment would include a band and children’s face-painting (mainly in black-and-white, of course!).

“This is all to thank the sponsors, the families, the public for what has been a truly remarkable six weeks of rugby in Hawke’s Bay,” Jay said.

This is an awesome result for not only the HBRFU, its players and management, but the whole Hawke’s Bay region. It proves what determination, passion and loyalty can produce. All of Hawke’s Bay benefits as a result!

PS: The All Blacks, meanwhile, went on to break their record winning streak with a loss to South Africa and their commercial partner Air NZ TRIPLED the cost of airfares to Samoa for the week of the ABs first ever test there. Sigh!