Category Archives: Media

More Megalomaniacal Monopolistic Media Meddling!

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If it's a choice between these two blowhards, I'll pick Sacha McNeil, Michael Wilson & Marcus Lush every time!

If it’s a choice between these two blowhards, I’ll pick Sacha McNeil, Michael Wilson & Marcus Lush every time!

It’s a sad indictment of New Zealand media that, rather than invest in new talent, we are once again dished up the same old “stars” that have been doing the rounds for years.

But now it’s even worse! Not only are they taking all the TV hosting positions, they’ll be “cross-medium” – taking up TV, radio and internet time simultaneously!!

Each year around the country hundreds of young, talented journalism, media and broadcasting students graduate and to what?

A tiny job market made even tinier by “NZME” (formerly The Radio Network and APN – we might as well lump “State Broadcaster” TVNZ in there as well, as they constantly interact / work with NZME affiliates) and Mediaworks (TV3, The Edge etc.) simulcasting their content across the nation from central studios and offices in Auckland with as small a staff as possible and evidently no great plans of expanding operations, or their talent pool.

Goodbye three years of study, over $30,000 in student loans / course costs and any hope of ever being the next Jay-Jay, Mike, Dom, Fletch, Vaughan, Megan, Hosking, Henry, Tom, Dick, or Harry!

Bring back the days of “Live and Local 24 Hours a Day” regional radio and other media, I say!

A bigger talent pool enabling graduates to get that all important, almost mythical in its rarity – EXPERIENCE and far more community interaction with their media.

After all, TV, radio and print are such intimate forms of communication – just you and the paper / screen / speakers that it seems absurd, almost insulting than some remote studio hundreds of kilometres away is the one telling you (or not, as the case has become) what is happening in your town

Death to Art Deco?

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DBC

I was told by someone a few years ago that after learning that Deco-themed weddings had become de rigeur and several had been included in weekend celebrations, an Art Deco Weekend guest speaker opined:

“Judging by the amount of grey hair of local devotees present tonight, I wouldn’t be too surprised if there weren’t a few upcoming Art Deco themed funerals!”

His comments weren’t overly well received at the time, apparently. But his idea obviously struck a chord somewhere, as at the next Art Deco Weekend, a “Death By Chocolate” event will be held at Dunstalls Funeral Parlour in Napier.

Funeral Director Paul Dunstall is an old family friend of mine. He is a great guy with a wicked sense of humour, so this comes as no real surprise.

But it does also raise two interesting points:

1/ When WILL there be an Art Deco Funeral.

2/ Having been Napier’s main tourist event for well over 20 years now, when will Art Deco Weekend start to die off?

The Hairs on My Chinny-Chin-Chin

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Separated at birth? Two fine examples of rugged, antipodean handsomeness! 

Separated at birth? Two fine examples of rugged, antipodean handsomeness! 

What do Hollywood stud muffin, Hugh Jackman and I have in common?

Quite a lot, evidently!

We’re both:
• Fine examples of rugged, antipodean handsomeness.
• Rocking pretty kick-arse beards at the moment.
• And we’ve both been diagnosed with the same type of skin cancer.

Yes, his Wolverine-ness and I have both had “Basel Cell Carsinomas” removed.

But never fear – neither Hugh, nor I will be shuffling off this mortal coil any time soon! BCCs are the most common form of cancer. In terms of skin cancers they are one of the “better ones” (if there is such a thing – sounds like an oxymoron to me) to get and while rarely fatal, do have a nasty habit of spreading and tend to ulcerate their surrounding skin making them quite unsightly in the long-run. So they are still considered “malignant” and best removed as soon as possible.

They are most commonly a result of over exposure to ultra-violet light, making sun-loving Australians like Hugh and cricket playing New Zealanders like myself prime candidates. My surgeon tells me there might also be a fair dose of heredity in contracting them too. Both my Mum and Dad had BCCs removed, so it was only a matter of time before I was next.

Earlier this year Hugh took to social media to encourage others to wear sunscreen and get any dodgy moles checked after he had a second procedure to remove a BCC from his nose.

In a couple weeks’ time I’m going under the knife again, too, to get some more removed. This time from around my face and ear.

It’s one of the reasons I’ve been growing a beard over winter – not to hide them, but because my moles are around my hairline, so I will be undergoing a very severe buzz-cut before surgery and decided to enjoy some facial hirsuteness while I could.

My wife loves my beard, calling it “the least douchey beard I have ever seen” (That IS a compliment… I think…) – she appears to have a pathological hatred of the current “Hipster Beard” trend.

Working in the office of a forestry company, I’ve gone more for the “Full Lumberjack” look. “And I’m OK” with that!

My new cranial aerodynamic-ness will come in handy with the cricket season fast approaching and I won’t have to fuss about with my hair in the morning for about three months. It will, however, also show off the aftermath of surgery rather obviously.

But I will wear my scars with pride. They certainly aren’t my first and won’t be my last. Like the frown and smile lines around my eyes and face, they will show I’ve lived (and will continue to live) a full life. I’m sure Hugh will do exactly the same!

If YOU have any suspiscious moles or spots on you skin, PLEASE see your doctor, or somewhere like Molemap to get them checked out! It may be nothing at all, it may result in a small scar, or it could save your life!

Topp Stuff!

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Four years ago, when I was doing the “Man About Town” column for BayBuzz, I interviewed Lynda Topp of the Topp Twins for a tour they were doing.

Well, Lynda and Jools Topp are coming back to Napier this month with a new show “The Grand Ole Topp’ry” paying homage to country music greats and celebrating contemporary Kiwi music, with the Topps’ fantastic style of comedy throughout.

The tour rides into Napier’s Municipal Theatre on 22 October tickets are available from Ticketek

Here’s my interview with Linda again for a bit of a Thursday throw-back!

topps2

Music runs in the blood of many famous New Zealand families. Bic & Boh Runga, Evermore’s Jon, Peter and Dan Hume and Tim & Neil Finn.

Jools and Lynda Topp are no exception. From an early age they were entertainers, performing for family and the animals on their parents’ Huntly farm. Busking to the stage, television to international movie screens, the Topp Twins have become more than just world famous in New Zealand.

They are now world famous in, well, the world. Their documentary feature film “Untouchable Girls – The Movie” has made approximately $2 million in New Zealand theatres, making it the highest selling New Zealand-made documentary ever.

I spoke to Lynda Topp earlier this week in the lead up their performance about their career, characters, fame and the darker side of their performances. The side not all parts of the community are comfortable with. Because Lynda is smitten … with yodeling.

When did you realize you had been bitten by the yodeling bug (or should that be mountain goat)?
From an early age. When I was about nine, I heard “Tinto, Pony and I” sung by June Holmes and that was it.

How did your parents take the news, were they very supportive?
For the first year of practicing, Mum banished me to the paddocks whenever I wanted to yodel. Our neighbours had an old wind-up gramophone and some country music vinyl records. We’d ride our horses down to their place, listen to the music, memorize as much of it as possible and ride back home to grab the guitar (which we weren’t allowed to carry on the horses). We’d play it and write it down, forget a part of it, ride back to the neighbors and so it continued. Seven years later we were good singers and we were excellent horsewomen!

Were you a yodeling child prodigy, or was it something that required a lot of hard toil?
There was a fair bit of work went into it. I didn’t publicly yodel for about six years until I was confident enough to perform. There are three things musically you can perform either brilliantly or do so horribly people will be after your head – bagpipes, the banjo and yodeling. I wanted to make sure I did it well.

I guess “The Sound of Music” would feature as one of your favorite movies thanks to the “Lonely Goatherd”?
No, that was particularly bad yodeling. Too ‘folksy’. Not ‘true’. We do more of a Swiss traditional or Cowboy (which the Americans developed from the Swiss) yodel. It’s one of those movies that get played every year around Christmas, so it gets a bit tiresome. So many of the big musical numbers are, or seem to be, done in one take, though. So from a performance perspective it was very good. In terms of costuming, not so much. Nowhere near enough lederhosen.
(When TV3 played the “Sound of Music” at Christmas, there was a transmission error and over half the movie was played, ironically, without sound!)

Speaking of “The Sound of Music” how do you solve a problem like Maria?
(Laughs) Send her out goat herding for seven or eight months.

What were some of your other musical and character/performance influences?
We grew up listening to country music. “The American Country Top 40″ radio show was a highlight of the week. The music was our inspiration, so we started writing songs very early too. Our driving force is always the music. The Gingham Sisters (a pair of country singing, spoon-playing sisters) were the first characters we came up with; the rest came later for the TV shows to add a bit of depth and comedy.

Two of your characters, “Prue & Dilly” are socialites from Hawke’s Bay. Sort of “Ab’ Fab’” meets CWI. Are they based on anyone we might know?
Our father used to be involved in polo when we were kids and a large proportion of the players came from Hawke’s Bay. So those two are more of a send-up or tribute to the polo ladies we met. They are larger than life party girls.

You should really bring them along to an Art Deco Weekend some time. I’m concerned some of the event goers may not realize they’re fictitious alter egos, though.
We’ve yet to attend an Art Deco Weekend. Prue & Dilly would love to go. They have some art deco pieces in their house and would love to go for a drive in one of the fancy vintage cars.

I remember seeing you perform at an A&P Show here a few years ago. Any fond or standout memories form Hawke’s Bay performances?
The Hawke’s Bay A&P Show always has a great traditional feel about it. A few years ago I got to ride a giant, championship Hereford bull as “Camp Mother” with Jools as “Camp Leader” leading it. I spent the whole time thinking “if this thing so much as flinches, I’m gone!” Our folks live in Hawke’s Bay now too, so we always have a good time when we’re up there.

A lot of people have grown up with you on the TV and in shows. The word “beloved” is often used with your names and you’ve grown quite a legion of fans here and overseas. Do you ever consider yourself ‘famous’?
No, not really. We have a lifestyle block, so we don’t see too many people other than when we’re doing shows or out shopping. If anything, we feel honored. If it weren’t for the fans, we wouldn’t be able to do what we do, so we always try to stop and have a chat, or sign an autograph etc. It’s quite funny; I’ve even had someone call out to me “Hey Ken!” (One of their characters) when I’m in the supermarket and not even in costume!

Is there a question you’ve always wanted to be asked, but never have? If so, what is it?
Yes, the question you just asked me. No one, until now, has asked, “How do you feel about your career?” (Woohoo! An exclusive!”)

What next for the Topp Twins? Politics, global Internet domination perhaps?
We’re going to play at the “Grand Ol’ Opry” in Nashville, Tennessee – that’s been a dream for many years. We’d like to do a ‘movie’ movie, now that the documentary has done so well. Otherwise just enjoying a good lifestyle and making people laugh!

Finally, Barry Manilow sang “I write the songs that make the whole world sing”. If you could write a song to make the whole world sing, what would it be about?
We already have one. It’s called “Untouchable Girls” and it’s become our trademark. We play it as the final song in our performances and for the last five shows we’ve done everyone has stood up at the end and sung it with us. That’s the sort of thing that makes it an honor for us.

“The Grand Ole Topp’ry” rides into Napier’s Municipal Theatre on 22 October tickets are available from Ticketek

It’s Diwali Time Again!!

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Mark it in your calendar & I'll see you there!

Mark it in your calendar & I’ll see you there!

Hawke’s Bay’s annual Diwali Festival is once again being held at Napier’s Soundshell on Saturday October 4th from 6pm.

I’ve been to virtually every one and they’re BRILLIANT! A wondrous fusion of food, fun, music and dance – the highlight of my cultural calendar.

If you are a business that would like to be part of the festival, contact Bhavna Nagar.

Otherwise, I’ll see you there on the 4th!

🙂

Managing Accountability at MTG

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The question is often asked “What planet do politicians live on?” In the case of Hawke’s Bay’s local body politicians the answer must be “Planet Teflon” – as nothing ever seems to stick, especially accountability.

From storage space shortages, to wildly inaccurate consultants’ reports on projected visitor motions (pun intended); things did not get off to a good start for Napier’s revamped cultural and historical hub – “MTG”, or “Museum, Theatre, Gallery”.

Now, after another council-commissioned consultant’s report – The “McDermott Miller Report” has been released into just what went wrong, where, how badly and how it could be fixed.

I have read the report and it makes pretty good, common sense. Perhaps its only down-fall is that it cost Napier rate-payers the equivalent of New Zealand’s average annual wage to tell them what a Napier ratepayer on the average wage could have told them after a visit or two to MTG.

After a flurry of publicity and changes in the last couple weeks, I now understand that Napier City Council announced they will not be blaming, firing, or holding anyone accountable for MTG’s much-publicised failings.

REALLY??

NO-ONE???

In fact, the council appears to have taken a “move along – nothing to see here!” (Inferences like that will NOT help visitor numbers, by the way) approach. Napier City Council’s new CEO Wayne Jack even said he was “tiring of the barrage of criticism” being levelled at MTG.
My advice to Wayne in helping avoid such situations is simple:

HOLD SOMEONE ACCOUNTABLE!

Not to be outdone, former Napier mayor, Hawke’s Bay Museum Trust chairwoman, acting trust general manager and MTG project champion, Barbara Arnott has already identified who is to blame – saying she “believed the whole MTG issue had been blown out of proportion by some people who had expressed their feelings and opinions without “thinking it through”.” in the local newspaper.

Of course, how silly of us – it’s all the rate-paying public and fact-quoting media’s fault! What an absolute load of imperious rubbish!

I was saddened not to hear or see any rebuttal from Hawke’s Bay Today Editor, Andrew Austin, supporting his reporters or readers / online commenters on such a ludicrous statement to what is a very public issue.

In the real world, when things this big go this wrong, people lose their jobs. MTG is currently going through a round of staff redundancies as a result of their current review. If MTG’s marketing department had indeed ignored a large portion of the community as potential visitors because of their socio-economic status, as McDermott Miller claims then, yes, heads certainly need to roll – A region’s culture and history is made up from everyone’s input, so no-one should be exempted from being able to view and appreciate it. But you can’t help but feel that deeper problems, well out of the control of staff, have not been accurately accounted for.

How are Mrs Arnott and former NCC CEO and MTG project manager Neil Taylor, despite their deep involvement in MTG’s development, apparently completely free from criticism or accountability?

Current Mayor, Bill Dalton says he “did his apprenticeship” under Arnott and the majority of the current council is unchanged from the one led by Arnott for so many years, so there is doubtlessly still a sense (or burden) of loyalty there.

But there appears to be far less love between current council CEO Wayne Jack and his predecessor – Jack having to tidy up a number of messes left over from the previous regime in his first months in office. In fact the way in which Jack does a number of things is a complete reversal to Taylor’s modus operandi, so it would not have been too surprising to have seen Taylor being “Thrown under the Art Deco Bus (another of his projects)”, But no – no accountability there either

Come to think of it, any and all past and current Napier city councillors involved in committees for and voting on MTG’s errant planning and enactment have somehow escaped any and all responsibility or accountability for some very expensive mistakes that are very embarrassing to Napier.

How is that fair?

All this MTG publicity couldn’t come at a worse time for the “Friends of MTG” programme, as they are in the middle or their annual membership renewal programme.

My wife and I are “Friends of MTG” and have been for a number of years – so any “conflicts of interest” claims that those mentioned above have completely avoided will doubtlessly now be levelled at me…. 🙁

I and a number of my fellow “MTG Friends” think for all its faults MTG does indeed have a lot of unfulfilled potential – it’s still a bit of a “blank canvas” if you will. But we also want to see those responsible for some major errors held accountable for their actions.

What do other “MTG Friends” think?

I would expect this year’s membership numbers depend on it.

Napier, its history, present, and future, its art and culture deserves better.

Horsepower Needed in Hoofing Berties Buses

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I see Napier City Council have decided to divorce their trouble-plagued, ill-conceived Art Deco Buses and sell them after barely a year in service.

They plan to stop the service in May and sell the buses to try and recover some ratepayer money.

I think NCC may have already missed a great opportunity to get the people of Napier a good price for “Bertie and Barb’s Busted Buses” by not hocking them off even earlier than May.

With Hastings’ annual equine event attracting so much publicity, attention and so much money from a very affluent sector of society, surely the last couple of weeks would have been the best time and place to sell vehicles with massive price-tags that are so used to having only a few occupants:

"Where are we going, Wilbur?"

“Where are we going, Wilbur?”

It’s Just Not Cricket!

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For those who don’t get the Hawke’s Bay Today, here’s my letter to the editor that was printed in Wednesday’s edition in relation to “FindlayGate” – the CEO of HB Cricket scoring 307 against a team of schoolboys in a match last Saturday.

It has been very interesting listening to peoples opinions, which seem split pretty much 50/50 on whether his actions were correct. Here’s my opinion for what it’s worth:

(Note: while the grade they play in does have a “split-cricket” component, I discovered after writing this that that part of the competition actually finished at Christmas. This round is straight 45 overs each, but they still break at 20 overs and my opinion still stands that Tech should have declared at that stage when they were 300/1)

Grown man scores 307 against a team of young schoolboys. Nothing to be proud of there, really.

I was playing on the neighbouring pitch on Saturday, nearly got hit by a couple of the “towering sixes” and was getting quite thoroughly depressed for St Johns’ up and coming young cricketers watching the ever-increasing score line.

Tech and St Johns were playing in a grade that has a “split level” game – The team batting first bats for 20 overs, the two teams have a break and the batting side decide whether they will declare, or bat on. At 20 overs Tech were at around 305 for 1 – a massive score in any grade or competition and, in hindsight, around 125 more runs than their opposition would ultimately get.

We were watching their game between overs on our pitch and thinking Tech would rightfully and more importantly, SPORTINGLY, declare. But they didn’t and as reported went on to make a rather farcical 578 – a score which not even the Black Caps could make.

But then for man who made this publicity-worthy score and is also the same person who oversees the competition to say:
“St Johns bowling probably wasn’t up to senior grade standard and said the boys from the Hastings college will probably struggle in the association’s senior men’s club competition” just adds insult to injury.

Throughout New Zealand clubs and schools have a hard time attracting and keeping players, both young and old. The ultimate goal is to get them playing a sport, inspire them at a young age and help them develop into successful, young sportspeople. I didn’t see much for any Hawke’s Bay cricketer, young or old, to be inspired by in Tech’s tactics in that game.

The credit in this game really goes to the St Johns’ boys, who never gave up. They played on despite rather massive odds and took some stunning catches later in their fielding innings. From where we were playing, they looked like a very young, but commendably committed future stars of the game.

Andrew Frame
Secretary and Player
Napier Old Boys’ Marist Cricket Club

Welcome to #GigatownNapier!

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Welcome to #GigatownNapier!

For those who are unaware, “Gigatown” is a competition being run by Chorus over the next year or so.

The winning city / town of will receive:

“The fastest internet in the Southern hemisphere – Chorus will make a special one gigabit per second (1Gbps) wholesale service available in the winning Gigatown at a special price and a Gigatown development fund – a $200,000 fund provided by Chorus and Alcatel Lucent’s Connect will support entrepreneurs and innovators taking new services over Gigabit fibre to market for Gigatown.”

I’m all for Napier becoming the first city in the southern hemisphere to have gigabit internet speeds. I can see just how much of a benefit our city and region could gain from such a digital asset. At the very least it is a way to engage, employ and empower Hawke’s Bay’s technologically-savvy youth and maybe even keep some of them from leaving the region in droves as they currently do.
At the most, it can put us at the forefront of the digital world and create massive financial, employment and social gains for our region. That’s why I’ve become a “#GigatownNapier ambassador.”

HOW the competition is currently structured leaves me more than a little cold, though.

The first stage of the competition is all about getting as many people to “hashtag” (“#Gigatown(insert location here)”) your town’s Gigatown handle on as many forms of media as inhumanely possible.

This can, of course, backfire with lots of people getting tired of seeing or using the Gigatown hashtag very quickly – social media is, after all, a very fast moving, trend setting (and following), constantly changing and fickle.

It all seems a little “Spam-like” to me (although there are rules and guidelines to help avoid this).

Currently leading the “#Hashtag Section” is Wanaka – where a simple ham sandwich from a lake-front cafe can set you back a whopping $10 (this was what sticks in my mind from the last time I was there), with almost 70,000 points. Oamaru, the “Steampunk” capital of New Zealand second (I’m pretty sure Steampunk technology isn’t internet compatible, though) is second, 37,000 points behind.

Napier is 14th

There are, apparently, conversion factors to be taken into consideration here – towns with smaller populations (like Wanaka and Oamaru, for example) appear to get more points per capita / hashtag, than bigger population centres. But this will start to even out as the competition proceeds, so we’re told.

Under this basis, let’s all just hope the likes of Otira don’t get too involved, or they’ll smoke the lot of us!

All the hashtag noise has also been a bit of a distraction from recent problems Chorus has been having with the government and the Commerce Commission over “unbundling” and the rolling out of New Zealand’s Ultra-Fast Broadband (“UFB”) network.

It has been interesting to note, too, that while the promise of gigabit internet speeds has been raising a lot of interest, the usage and uptake of “the next big tech thing” – Ultra-Fast Broadband in New Zealand has been a pretty slow. Despite the government and providers strongly promoting the use of UFB and installing the infrastructure for it around large portions of metropolitan New Zealand over the past few years, it has been gaining momentum only recently.

Rather than making the most noise, I’m all for the winning town being the one with the most substance.

Napier deserves an opportunity like this.

We have the port, airport and roads facilitating the transit of goods – export being our biggest earner and the servile tourism industry being a big portion of the region’s economy, but a poor earner for those involved.

Inject gigabit internet technology into Hawke’s Bay and I think we could foreseeably overtake at least one of those sectors. In doing so we would also massively increase the number of skilled workers, increase the wages, in doing so local boost consumer spending and launch the region’s economy into the stratosphere.

Regardless of what happens in the competition, whether Napier becomes #GigatownNapier or not, I still think this is a great opportunity for Napier and Hawke’s Bay.

I went along to the first that Napier “Gigatown Education Seminar” hosted by Ryan Jennings and I was impressed by the passion and drive I saw and heard from everyone at the event to see this sort of thing happen for Napier.

For too long Napier has been chained to the past. Over recent years I have felt we are just out of reach of that one thing that will get Hawke’s Bay out of its current economic doldrums. This is a great opportunity to thrust ourselves through the present and into the future.

Be it with Gigabit internet speeds, or with Ultra-Fast Broadband, this is a great step in the right direction and an opportunity that cannot be wasted!

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