Tag Archives: Hawke’s Bay

It’s Just Not Cricket!

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For those who don’t get the Hawke’s Bay Today, here’s my letter to the editor that was printed in Wednesday’s edition in relation to “FindlayGate” – the CEO of HB Cricket scoring 307 against a team of schoolboys in a match last Saturday.

It has been very interesting listening to peoples opinions, which seem split pretty much 50/50 on whether his actions were correct. Here’s my opinion for what it’s worth:

(Note: while the grade they play in does have a “split-cricket” component, I discovered after writing this that that part of the competition actually finished at Christmas. This round is straight 45 overs each, but they still break at 20 overs and my opinion still stands that Tech should have declared at that stage when they were 300/1)

Grown man scores 307 against a team of young schoolboys. Nothing to be proud of there, really.

I was playing on the neighbouring pitch on Saturday, nearly got hit by a couple of the “towering sixes” and was getting quite thoroughly depressed for St Johns’ up and coming young cricketers watching the ever-increasing score line.

Tech and St Johns were playing in a grade that has a “split level” game – The team batting first bats for 20 overs, the two teams have a break and the batting side decide whether they will declare, or bat on. At 20 overs Tech were at around 305 for 1 – a massive score in any grade or competition and, in hindsight, around 125 more runs than their opposition would ultimately get.

We were watching their game between overs on our pitch and thinking Tech would rightfully and more importantly, SPORTINGLY, declare. But they didn’t and as reported went on to make a rather farcical 578 – a score which not even the Black Caps could make.

But then for man who made this publicity-worthy score and is also the same person who oversees the competition to say:
“St Johns bowling probably wasn’t up to senior grade standard and said the boys from the Hastings college will probably struggle in the association’s senior men’s club competition” just adds insult to injury.

Throughout New Zealand clubs and schools have a hard time attracting and keeping players, both young and old. The ultimate goal is to get them playing a sport, inspire them at a young age and help them develop into successful, young sportspeople. I didn’t see much for any Hawke’s Bay cricketer, young or old, to be inspired by in Tech’s tactics in that game.

The credit in this game really goes to the St Johns’ boys, who never gave up. They played on despite rather massive odds and took some stunning catches later in their fielding innings. From where we were playing, they looked like a very young, but commendably committed future stars of the game.

Andrew Frame
Secretary and Player
Napier Old Boys’ Marist Cricket Club

Twelve Days of Christmas Deliciousness (2013 Edition)

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My wife, Olivia, is an absolute whiz in the kitchen. She is always following new trends, making new dishes or planning fantastic themed feasts. We seldom eat the same thing twice.

For the last 5 years she has composed a special menu for the “12 Days of Christmas” – alternating between the traditional (Partridge in a Pear Tree) and New Zealand (“Pukeko in a Ponga Tree”) versions each year. This year it was the turn of the traditional version.

Wherever possible she tries to tie in part of the carol lyrics to the dish – i.e. “Partridge in a Pear Tree” will usually contain pears to some degree, or there will be some sort of alliteration or similar tie-in. It really takes a fair bit of dedication and imagination to pull off!

This year, though, there was one small, cute, crying, constantly feeding problem.

Parents-to-be please note at this point: When baby arrives and you want to eat dinner, it’s absolutely guaranteed that Junior will too – ruling out any opportunity for you to:
A/ Have dinner together.
B/ Have dinner at your regular time.
C/ If you DO get it cooked at the usual time you won’t get around to eating it together at any temperature above tepid.

So while Olivia supplied our baby with dinner, I took to the kitchen to make the meals. This is not something that is usually advised unless a fire extinguisher, paramedics and Civil Defence are on stand-by.

As it turned out, the results weren’t too bad!

Day 1 – A Partridge in a Pear Tree:
Meal: Provolone-Filled, Prosciutto-Wrapped Pork Burgers with Poached Pear Topping
Reasoning: The Pears for the pear tree, all the “P” ingredients for alliteration.
1 Partridge in a Pear Tree Pork Pear Provolone Burger

Day 2 – Two Turtle Doves:
Meal: Flour Crust Poisson with Steamed Vegetables
Reasoning: This was an awesome idea we got from a Jamie Oliver cookbook. The Poisson being a small bird like a dove, cooks itself in a flour and water crust that ends up hard like a turtle’s shell! We add the broccoli, which looks like a tree, for extra birdy-ness.
2 Turtle Doves Flour Crust Poisson

Day 3 – Three French Hens:
Meal: Coq Au Riesling
Reasoning: Chicken thighs (hen) cooked in a very French-sounding casserole (we’ll just ignore the fact that Riesling comes from Germany and DON’T MENTION THE WAR!). Very yum!
3 French Hens Coq au Reisling

Day 4 – Four Calling Birds:
Meal: Blueberry, Banana and Bacon Tart
Reasoning: We researched this dish and discovered that it isn’t actually “Calling Birds”, but “Colly Birds” (otherwise known as “Blackbirds”). So we often borrow from another old rhyme and make some variation on “Four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie.” Last time we made chicken pie. This year we went for a big “B” alliteration “Black Birds” / “Blueberry, Banana and Bacon”. It was BEAUTIFUL!
4 Colly Birds Bacon Banana Blueberry Pie

Day 5 – Five Gold Rings:
Meal: Panko-fried Courgette Fettuccini
Reasoning: I cut courgettes from our own garden into rings (ok, “coins”, technically), coated them in panko breadcrumbs and shallow fried them, before tossing them in fettuccini.
5 Gold Rings Courgette Fettucinni

Day 6 – Six Geese a Laying:
Meal: Baked Eggs and Wilted Rocket Leaves
Reasoning: Simple one this time – eggs are laid. We used regular chicken eggs, not goose eggs, though.
6 Gesse a Laying Baked Eggs

Day 7 – Seven Swans a Swimming:
Meal: Poached Baby Vegetables
Reasoning: Baby vegetables “swimming” in wine.
7 Swans a Swimming Poached Veges

Day 8 – Eight Maids a Milking:
Meal: Beef Burgers Topped with Goats’ Cheese and Baked Baby Beetroot.
Reasoning: The burgers are made from an animal that gets milked and the goats’ cheese is a result of the same process. The beetroot is there because it goes beautifully with goats’ cheese.
8 Maids a Milking Burger Goats Cheese

Day 9 – Nine Ladies Dancing:
Meal: Antipasti Platter
Reasoning: Olivia stopped (and really missed) eating soft cheeses, cured meats etc. (all the “no-no” foods) while she was pregnant. So the promise of finally being able to eat them again made this lady so happy she wanted to dance!
9 Ladies Dancing Antipasti

Day 10 – Ten Lords a Leaping:
Meal: Lamb Chops with Bean and Mustard Salad
Reasoning: Lambs, like lords (allegedly) love to leap. As do the mustard seeds when you cook them in hot oil for the dressing on the (“Spring” – get it?) Bean Salad.
10 Lords a Leaping Lamb Chops

Day 11 – Eleven Pipers Piping:
Meal: Walnut, Spinach and Ricotta Cannelloni
Reasoning: Pretty straight forward again – Cannelloni looks like pipes and you have to ‘pipe’ the filling into them!
11 Pipiers Piping Canneloni

Day 12 – Twelve Drummers Drumming:
Meal: Deconstructed Duck Drumsticks with Kohl Rabi and Cherry Salad
Reasoning: We were going to use self-explanatory duck drumsticks for this dish, but they sold out the day before we went to do it. So I used duck breast, some creative licence and alliteration to call them “Deconstructed Drumsticks”.
12 Drummers Drumming Duck

So there we go, another year of deliciousness done and dusted! Many thanks to all the Facebook and Twitter friends and followers who liked and commented on the dishes!

Wherever possible, we sourced ingredients from our own garden, the Napier Farmers’ Market, local greengrocers, butchers etc. For the more specialised ingredients, we went to Gourmet Direct and Vetro – any Napier foodie’s best friends!

Welcome to #GigatownNapier!

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GIANT

Welcome to #GigatownNapier!

For those who are unaware, “Gigatown” is a competition being run by Chorus over the next year or so.

The winning city / town of will receive:

“The fastest internet in the Southern hemisphere – Chorus will make a special one gigabit per second (1Gbps) wholesale service available in the winning Gigatown at a special price and a Gigatown development fund – a $200,000 fund provided by Chorus and Alcatel Lucent’s Connect will support entrepreneurs and innovators taking new services over Gigabit fibre to market for Gigatown.”

I’m all for Napier becoming the first city in the southern hemisphere to have gigabit internet speeds. I can see just how much of a benefit our city and region could gain from such a digital asset. At the very least it is a way to engage, employ and empower Hawke’s Bay’s technologically-savvy youth and maybe even keep some of them from leaving the region in droves as they currently do.
At the most, it can put us at the forefront of the digital world and create massive financial, employment and social gains for our region. That’s why I’ve become a “#GigatownNapier ambassador.”

HOW the competition is currently structured leaves me more than a little cold, though.

The first stage of the competition is all about getting as many people to “hashtag” (“#Gigatown(insert location here)”) your town’s Gigatown handle on as many forms of media as inhumanely possible.

This can, of course, backfire with lots of people getting tired of seeing or using the Gigatown hashtag very quickly – social media is, after all, a very fast moving, trend setting (and following), constantly changing and fickle.

It all seems a little “Spam-like” to me (although there are rules and guidelines to help avoid this).

Currently leading the “#Hashtag Section” is Wanaka – where a simple ham sandwich from a lake-front cafe can set you back a whopping $10 (this was what sticks in my mind from the last time I was there), with almost 70,000 points. Oamaru, the “Steampunk” capital of New Zealand second (I’m pretty sure Steampunk technology isn’t internet compatible, though) is second, 37,000 points behind.

Napier is 14th

There are, apparently, conversion factors to be taken into consideration here – towns with smaller populations (like Wanaka and Oamaru, for example) appear to get more points per capita / hashtag, than bigger population centres. But this will start to even out as the competition proceeds, so we’re told.

Under this basis, let’s all just hope the likes of Otira don’t get too involved, or they’ll smoke the lot of us!

All the hashtag noise has also been a bit of a distraction from recent problems Chorus has been having with the government and the Commerce Commission over “unbundling” and the rolling out of New Zealand’s Ultra-Fast Broadband (“UFB”) network.

It has been interesting to note, too, that while the promise of gigabit internet speeds has been raising a lot of interest, the usage and uptake of “the next big tech thing” – Ultra-Fast Broadband in New Zealand has been a pretty slow. Despite the government and providers strongly promoting the use of UFB and installing the infrastructure for it around large portions of metropolitan New Zealand over the past few years, it has been gaining momentum only recently.

Rather than making the most noise, I’m all for the winning town being the one with the most substance.

Napier deserves an opportunity like this.

We have the port, airport and roads facilitating the transit of goods – export being our biggest earner and the servile tourism industry being a big portion of the region’s economy, but a poor earner for those involved.

Inject gigabit internet technology into Hawke’s Bay and I think we could foreseeably overtake at least one of those sectors. In doing so we would also massively increase the number of skilled workers, increase the wages, in doing so local boost consumer spending and launch the region’s economy into the stratosphere.

Regardless of what happens in the competition, whether Napier becomes #GigatownNapier or not, I still think this is a great opportunity for Napier and Hawke’s Bay.

I went along to the first that Napier “Gigatown Education Seminar” hosted by Ryan Jennings and I was impressed by the passion and drive I saw and heard from everyone at the event to see this sort of thing happen for Napier.

For too long Napier has been chained to the past. Over recent years I have felt we are just out of reach of that one thing that will get Hawke’s Bay out of its current economic doldrums. This is a great opportunity to thrust ourselves through the present and into the future.

Be it with Gigabit internet speeds, or with Ultra-Fast Broadband, this is a great step in the right direction and an opportunity that cannot be wasted!

Capture

Memory’s Irresistible Pull

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Superman[1]

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it’s a Superman action figure from my childhood!

I am a big kid at heart. I loved my childhood and part of me still clings to it with all its might. I’ve even kept a number of my favourite toys – GI Joes, MASK vehicles and Star Wars action figures.

But for some reason, this “Superpowers” Superman figure has always had a special place in my heart.

Whenever I look at him I feel happy. I also feel like having a “Bubble O’ Bill” ice cream – as my folks bought me one just after the action figure (It must have been a very good day).

This, of course may mean very little to you, but it means everything to me. As it’s not really the action figure that has imprinted itself upon my memory, but rather the stage in my life that it was bought.

I was a child of the 80’s and still think it must surely have been the best decade to have been a kid – in terms of toys, movies, TV and just the general vibe of the time. It would have been 1985 when I got Superman (the toy and Ice cream were released around that same time). I would have been 8 years old and at Tamatea Primary School learning the educational and social fundamentals of life and discovering the joys of cricket (“Kiwi Cricket” was released around then too).

Toys played an important part in my life, though. I’m an only child, so for a lot of the time I had to keep myself entertained. It was a bit of a lonely existence, but it helped develop a fantastically creative imagination. I played out TV shows, movies, epic war battles and intimate family moments with my toys. They weren’t just toys, they were my friends too.

All these childhood memories have been coming back to me recently with the imminent arrival of our baby.

I guess I was feeling scared, as I felt that once we had a child ourselves, we had to stop being child-like. After all, being a parent was the most grown-up thing you could be as a kid, wasn’t it? I wasn’t ready to let go of that part of my life just yet.

A few days after our baby was born, my wife and I managed to get some time to sit down and watch Toy Story 3. The opening titles are home movies of Andy (Woody and Buzz Lightyear’s owner) growing up and playing with his beloved toys over the years; right up until he is about to head off to college – that big “adult” step.

Watching the opening credits I bawled my eyes out, but with happy tears. As I realised I was not seeing the end of my childhood, but the beginning of my daughter’s. We had years and years of happy times like I had experienced ahead of us.

While memory’s irresistible pull will always keep me anchored to my past, there is a long, bright future ahead of us – and a second childhood to look forward to.

Tie(rd) of Petty Political Distractions

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noosetie

Question: Does it truly matter if a City / Regional / District councillor wears a tie or not?

Answer: No!

Hawke’s Bay’s local authorities saw reasonable levels of change thanks to the recent elections. Not great, but reasonable.

Voters elected new councillors who they hoped would ‘stick their necks out’ on issues, rather than leave them as the last thing the public saw just above the sand (or other orifaces).

They voted in people whose necks could look left and right to see both sides of an issue. Look forwards to guide us into the future and backwards to help us avoid repeating the mistakes of the past, rather than staring in the same old direction that habit, instruction or sycophancy had seized their predecessors’.

So why has such a big deal being made in local media about what three male regional councillors do or do not place around their aforementioned cervical appendage?

I don’t care what our councillors wear or how they wear it. I care about what they DO as councillors for my city and for my region.

The publicised actions, attitude and decisions of Regional Council Chairman Wilson over recent years have given me little reason to have any faith in him as a representative of the Hawke’s Bay region, let alone as any form of men’s style guru. He should leave that to the experts – Chairman Ralph Lauren and Councillor Tom Ford, perhaps.

I wish the likes of Hawke’s Bay Today would get their focus and reporting back on the matters that have an actual bearing on the present and future of our great region.

Far bigger, more important issues currently hang around Hawke’s Bay’s neck!

No More Babies for Napier?

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NHC

From the middle of December 2013, Napier’s population will cease to grow organically. You may be “Napier bred”, but you won’t be “Napier born” – because Napier Medical Centre’s maternity wing is closing.

If you are expecting a Christmas baby and were wanting to have your birth in Napier – even if your name is Mary and your partner’s name is Joseph, there will be no room at the Inn.

For those of you who follow my blog, you will know this is of particular interest to me, as my wife and I are expecting our first child very soon. It looks like our baby may be one of the last to be born in a Napier maternity facility.

I had heard a murmuring from a fellow expectant parent and went investigating. HBDHB staff would, naturally, not reveal anything to a mere member of the public like me, but a medical source confirmed to me that the maternity side of the Napier Health Centre would close around the second week of December. That’s pretty short notice and even worse news if you are well into your pregnancy and wanting to have your child in Napier like generations before. If you want our gorgeous hometown on your child’s birth certificate, you may have to look at having a home birth.

The closure of Napier’s maternity wing, and indeed the whole Napier Health Centre has been bandied around for some time. Now it looks like they are becoming, at least in part, a reality.

It’s claimed more Hawke’s Bay women have been choosing to have their children at Ata Rangi (Hastings / Hawke’s Bay Hospital’s maternity unit). But it appears not many people know Napier actually had its own maternity facility!

With over 2000 births per year in Hawke’s Bay (that’s five births every day of the year), we surely need all the beds and maternity services we can get. So why close one?

Hastings’ maternity unit often runs out of room and will move Napier mums and their newborn babies to the Napier Health Centre to free up space. So what happens without this back up come January?

With so many births, new mums we have talked to who gave birth to in Hastings say they often felt shunted around and put through the system as fast as economically possible.

I call it being “Hatched, matched and dispatched.”

A woman we attended antenatal classes with was looking at having her baby at the Napier Medical Centre, as her mother had experienced very short labours – between half an hour and 15 minutes from “whoa to go” (or from “go to ‘Waaaah’!” technically) and there was concern she would have the same issue. Without facilities in Napier, what will happen in cases like hers? A birth certificate that reads “Born: Meeanee Over-bridge”?

Is it acceptable? HELL NO! So what can we do?

Protest! Make some noise! Vent your spleen!

Our local MPs, Chris Tremain and Craig Foss constantly claim to be “Backing the Bay”, but seem timid and sycophantic to the will of their party masters on big, local issues (can you say “Napier-Gisborne rail line”, “Amalgamation”, or “Ruataniwha Dam”?) Email or ring them. Call them out and challenge them to actually do something and “back the Bay’s babies” on this one. Chris was born in Napier, by the way, so why can’t your child be?

Minister of Health, Tony Ryall may even be worth a tune-up.

If the Right side of the political ledger fails to do anything (and I’m not holding my breath), Stuart Nash seems to have Napier’s best interests at heart and a determination to see them through.

Write, text or ring the Hawke’s Bay Today (who I hoped would have been onto this sooner), or the Dominion Post / Hawke’s Bay Sun (email: news@dompost.co.nz Hastings ph: 870-7802; Napier: ph 834-3700) – Where local news fails, national attention can work wonders!

This is utterly unacceptable and should not be allowed to happen!

This is not parochialism – it’s civic pride!

I love Napier more than I could ever hope to fully articulate. It is my place of birth and my home. I see no credible reason why others won’t have the chance to say “I’m Napier BORN and bred!”

Mission the Mark Again

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TheMiss

If it was a joke, it would start with “Hey, Mission Concert, the nineties called!” And that’s how we got this year’s “big”, “surprise” acts.

Each member of the “UK Invasion Party” (they’ve already had to do an emergency rebranding – see below), comprising of Ronan Keating, Melanie C of the Spice Girls, Billy Ocean, Leo Sayer and Sharon Corr of the Corrs will perform for around 20 minutes at Mission Concert in February next year.

It all sounds pretty luke-warm to me:
Ronan Keating is ok, but his recent gigs on “reality” singing shows have diluted his credibility for me.
‘Sporty Spice’ was, at least, one of the Spice Girls who could actually sing (lord help our ears if they’d snared Victoria Beckham!)
Sharon Corr was the violinist, back-up singer and 1/3rd of the ¾ sensationally attractive (sorry Brother Corr) siblings that made up “The Corrs”.
Billy Ocean got out of my ears, into his car and drove off into the sunset years ago.
And I had to Google “Leo Sayer” before I could even recognise any of his songs.

As is the way with this age of technology, I immediately jumped online to gauge reaction to the announcement

The Hawke’s Bay Today website’s announcement was a bit drab and “regurgitated press release-ish”, but the comments section was, as always, good for a laugh.

I get very amused by comments vilifying or “knocking” the “knockers.” Everyone is entitled to their opinion. So what is wrong with someone voicing their displeasure at what they consider is another sub-standard Mission line-up?

Hawke’s Bay Today has done a better job of getting wider opinions this year.

Finding a terribly amateur mistake (organisers failed to recognise that Keating and Corr are from the Republic of Ireland and Ocean was born in the Caribbean – not the “United Kingdom” and a very quick way to get into a fight apparently) in Mission Concert organisers’ marketing (or proof-reading / sub-editing) restored a bit of my faith in balanced journalism too.

Getting the basics wrong this year isn’t a Mission Concert first, after a series of wine bottles were printed up for Eric Clapton’s (a recovering alcoholic) show six years ago.

A truer litmus test is the reactions from a wider audience – tourists who come from out of town for Napier’s events, the likes of these Stuff.co.nz commenters.

Online reactions did bring up a very good point.

When Dame Kiri Te Kanawa performed at the inaugural Mission Concert in 1993, it was new, special and spectacular. It set a standard that many other wineries and venues followed.

Now virtually every winery and its dog stages “Mission-esque” concerts and events each year. Many smaller, newer vineyards, parks and venues attract much more up-to-date acts than the Mission has over its 20 year history. Meanwhile Mission acts seem, with a few exceptions, to be getting older and less recognised.

After a spate of less than impressive acts in recent years, Napier’s Mission Concert was becoming more unflatteringly recognised for its drinking and related less-than-world-class attendee behaviour. They could have released DVDs of the concerts under the brand “Baby-Boomers Gone Wild” or the like, but I don’t think sales would have been too flash.

After starting with a hiss and a roar (or rather, a Soprano and some very high notes) two decades ago it feels like the quality of Mission Concerts has dawdled off a bit. Organisers have either lost interest, or lost the plot as to what our gorgeous venue and city deserves.

We are constantly told what a modern and vibrant city Napier is and how “world class” the Mission Concert is supposed to be. But for the same price as a Mission Concert ticket, you can see the likes of Beyonce, Taylor Swift or U2. All massive draw-cards, so why waste your time or money on anything less?

Surely if the Mission Concert is such a “World class” event, it deserves world class acts – as in the biggest artists RIGHT NOW, rather than largely forgotten acts from decades ago.

The Mission, Napier and its visitors deserve far better than what they are currently getting.

Delightful, Delicious Diwali!

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Title

Diwali , or the “Festival of Lights” is an Indian festival celebrating the triumph of good over evil, light over darkness. Hawke’s Bay’s Indian community has been celebrating it at Napier’s Sound Shell for several years now.

It’s a free event and has a great, friendly, family atmosphere that easily attracts hundreds and hundreds of people – young and old of all ethnicities each year. It’s the sort of event that Napier has been so sadly missing out on in recent years.

Crowd

There’s dancing, great music (so good, you’ll probably recognize riffs and beats that most main-stream rap musicians have flogged and hoped no-one (aside from maybe one billion Indians) would notice) and FOOD!

Food

Lots and lots of delicious samosas, satays and curries are served from a number of stalls. This year Napier’s Indigo Restaurant, had the consistently longest queue.

Queue

It took about half an hour to reach the business-end of dinner, but when you got there it was certainly worth it – $10 for a traditional Indian meal in such a great open-air environment with free entertainment! Try and beat that, “Great Long Lunch”!

I happened to see Napier’s Inner City Marketing Manager at the event. I certainly hope she was taking notes, because NICM could learn a heck of a lot from a great family festival like this. Napier needs and deserves a lot more like it!

Dickensian Dickens Street

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What Would Charles Dickens Make of the Napier Street named after him?

What Would Charles Dickens Make of the Napier Street named after him?

Is Napier’s Dickens Street becoming literally more and more Dickensian?

There were Great Expectations for Dickens Street after its revitalisation a few years ago, but it appears to be going through some Hard Times.

At its Hastings Street end we have a noisy, smelly and dusty industrial revolution of construction and destruction.

At the other end we have the squalor of the still half-empty and abandoned Mid City Plaza – a Bleak House going mouldy on the outside and crumbling inside, while across the road a store sells “legal” highs to local street urchins.

Now I see a giant “$2 Shop”-type store opening in the middle of Dickens Street (there are already around three such stores in close proximity).

This is no Old Curiosity Shop – rather an immense purveyor of too-cheap goods – the sort poor little Oliver Twist had to make for a pittance.

Another of these ‘bargain’ stores is not encouraging for central Napier’s growth, retail quality or the region’s reputation for low wages. You have to wonder who let it get in this state?

With festive season fast approaching, we can only hope those letting our CBD down hear an inspirational Christmas Carol or have a life-changing dream and stop being such Scrooges!

Price Does Not Equal Luxury

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“See Naples and die.” Pompeii tourist brochure circa 79AD

“See Napier and Spit*” Mark Twain, Napier’s Masonic Hotel 1895

Napier’s tourism industry has been struggling for some years now.

Some blame too much focus on cruise ships for the decline. Others blame Napier City Council for not doing enough to Marine Parade, or the uncooperative relationship that exists between Hawke’s Bay’s many councils. HB Inc. / Venture HB / HB Tourism (if you’re new to the region they’re all the same organisation with mainly the same staff, just under different names after years of reorganisation or failure) have also faced their share of criticism. As has Air New Zealand (have you tried finding a cheap flight to or from Hawke’s Bay – one of New Zealand’s busiest regional airports?).

I feel most of these criticisms have their merits. But I have seen a theme run through a lot of Hawke’s Bay tourism schemes and advertising in recent years that may be doing even more damage: Luxury.

When times are tough and money is sparse (as it is currently), what is the first thing you usually give up? The “luxuries”! So why is that such a feature of so many HB tourism ventures recently? Sure they are attractive to a select few for their exclusivity (“ponce-pulling-power”?), but as a result they also cater to only a very small portion of the market for only a small amount of time.

From an accommodation perspective, take the likes of the Kidnappers resort (scarily expensive to mere mortals like myself), or closer to home The Dome in central Napier (don’t even get me started on how our Art Deco-mad rulers let them build a modern addition atop one of Napier’s most iconic buildings…). Both make a point of being exclusive and luxurious. But, at even their cheapest winter rates, how many people will ever get to know precisely how luxurious they are? They also appear geared towards just individuals or couples too. The typical middle-income-earning Kiwi family holidaymakers, surely Hawke’s Bay’s biggest and most lucrative domestic market, don’t get much of a look-in. But I guess that’s the whole point, right? It’s a case of the money versus the many.

Case in point: Kidnappers hosted an event with international celebrity chef, Heston Blumenthal, a few years ago. For the price of a ticket to this event (a night or two’s accommodation and accompanying meals) you could have flown to England, dined at Heston’s original restaurant, The Fat Duck, spent a few more days seeing the sights and still had change for duty free on the return to New Zealand! Somehow the event still sold out. I’m guessing not many locals bought tickets.

I wonder how long these types of venture usually last (I think at least one of the two examples I mentioned above has changed owners at some stage)? If one night’s accommodation is that pricey, and guest nights must be pretty slim as a result, imagine what their running costs must be.

I make this point about longevity, because two of Napier’s most popular and longest standing holiday accommodation providers, Kennedy Park Camp Grounds and the iconic central Napier Criterion Backpackers hostel are not only some of the city’s oldest establishments (Kennedy Park celebrated a whopping 75 years of operation recently and “The Cri” was built after the 1931 Earthquake, ironically, as a luxury hotel), but also some of the cheapest!

Accommodation providers are stuck between a rock and a hard place, though. The less people staying with them, the more they have to charge to make ends meet. But the more they charge, the fewer customers are inclined to spend the night. It’s a vicious cycle.

One of the cosiest hotel beds I have ever slept in was at the Jucy Hotel / Hostel, just 200 meters from Queen Street in Auckland. The rooms were quiet, bright and modern. They had great new facilities, a flat screen TV, a modern stylish bathroom and cost just over $100 including a carpark for the night. Where else could you find value for money like that in New Zealand’s biggest city, or even Napier for that matter?

The popularity and longevity of Kennedy Park and the Cri Backpackers and my experience at Jucy prove that money can’t always buy you a good night’s place to rest.

A high price does not equal luxury!

Rather than go for the ‘vanity factor’ and charging accordingly, ultimately scaring potential clients off, I think Napier Hoteliers / Moteliers need to go back to the basics. Provide a comfortable, family-orientated place to stay at an attractive price. The reduction in individual price will pay off in spades, as more guests stay for longer.

With the summer tourist season fast approaching, I wonder how many operators will try it?

*The “Spit” Mr Twain refers to is now the area we call “Westshore”. Pre-1931 earthquake, it was a long, thin spit of land at the entrance to the then harbour, now Ahuriri fishing port.