Let’s Grow a Mo 6.0

Posted on November 11, 2014 by Andrew Frame

iMo 6.0

Things are about to get hairy once again, as Movember slowly grows upon us!

This will be my sixth year growing a moustache to help raise money and awareness of men’s health, particularly prostate cancer and depression. The cause is one very close to my heart (and face) as, like so many others, I’ve suffered from depression, am scared from cancer and if he had been more aware of his health, or more readily sought help, my dear Dad might still be here today.

A few years ago I put on a real push to raise money and ended up collecting over $230. I’d like to try and at least get close to that total again this year and I have a few ideas on how to drum up support and mo-ney for my Movember campaign.

I am a HUGE supporter of #BuyLocal and Hawke’s Bay businesses. Combine this with my hyperbolas talent with words and getting messages across in 140 characters or less and there are numerous opportunities, temporary rebrandings and partnerships that could help me get there.

Some are pretty straight forward – like:

Mo-ana Park Winery

and

Mo(re) FM

Others require a bit of creativity or editing:

Like Bay EspressMO – in particular, my usual cafe haunt in Napier: “Six Sisters”, or, for this case, “Six Mo Sistas”

An alpha-numeric swap-around makes Kent Baddeley’s fantastic restaurant, “10 Twenty Four” become “M0 Twenty Four”!

Similarly, turn the name of #Awesome local internet provider “NOW” upside down and you get “MO(N)”!

And this is only the beginning!

One of my favourite new food ventures in Napier is “Donut Robot” – a very cool little retro caravan in Carlyle Street, across the road from Countdown, who makes and sells fresh American donuts.

When cut in half, these tasty treats look remarkably like, you guessed it, moustaches! “Donut Robot” could become “Mo-nut Robot” – serving delicious sugared or iced “mo-nuts”! “Would you like sprinkles on your “Mo-nut”, sir?” (I will have to ask Steve the owner about that idea…).

There are even more fabulous ideas spinning around in my head, but I’d better keep them for later in case someone tries to flog them.

If you would like to donate to the Mo cause and help raise funding and awareness for NZ men’s health, you can do so HERE!

Mission: Impossible

Posted on November 10, 2014 by Andrew Frame

Well, it had to happen eventually, I guess. There will be NO Mission Concert in the foreseeable future next year.

As if recent years’ attempts to find “suitable” acts weren’t desperate enough, organisers COMPLETELY FAILED to find ANYONE this time!

As the saying goes: “You had ONE job to do…”

For all the usual hype and fluff that surrounds the build-up to what used to be one of Hawke’s Bay’s premiere summer events nothing has eventuated.

While I am not surprised – recent Mission Concerts seem to have slowly degenerated into a mass piss-up with a side order of tunes from some long-forgotten muso, I still appreciate what it did for local businesses like moteliers, cafés etc.. The failure of event organisers to actually organise ANYTHING will hurt local business badly and that’s not good enough!

There is an expression that something past its prime has “Jumped the Shark”, well, did the Mission Concert mistime its jump and fall into the shark tank, or was it pushed?

Either way Hawke’s Bay deserves better!

NiMBY City Council

Posted on October 30, 2014 by Andrew Frame

Napier City council is scared development of the former Caltex site (far left) will be detremental on Napier’s CBD. But seem perfectly happy for it to clash with the Marewa Shopping Centre (far right)

Property developer, “Matvin Group” has bought the vacant former Caltex service station site on the corner of Georges Drive and Kennedy Road in Marewa, Napier. They plan to turn it into “a six-store retail complex”, but Napier City Council and its subsidiary, Napier Inner City Marketing is concerned these new shops could harm Napier’s CBD.

Oh, for goodness sake!

I can’t help but notice that just a few weeks ago, I read about Napier councillors welcoming with open arms a home décor store, not unlike those we already have in central Napier, into their new site in Ahuriri – even further away from the CBD.

But two councillors do own businesses in that area, so I guess that makes it perfectly fine…

Council staff recommended granting permission for the Marewa development, but suggested it only contain businesses that won’t compete with central city stores.

So, as councils do, NCC:

Passed the decision off to a hearings committee and employed an “independent commissioner” to oversee proceedings:

The committee was to be chaired by former deputy mayor Kathie Furlong and include current deputy mayor Faye White and long-term councillor Mark Herbert.

I’m a little concerned at the “independence” of the committee, though. Furlong was Napier City Council’s representative on the Napier Inner City Marketing board for many years until her retirement from council. She has since been replaced on the NICM board by none other than Faye White!

“Napier Deputy Mayor Faye White said the committee was still deliberating after the “lengthy” 6-hour hearing, and an outcome was expected “by the end of the week”.

And an “economic effects” consultant’s report was commissioned:

“The report, by Adam Thompson of Urbecon, concluded the new development would have either no effect or a very limited impact on existing retailers, and it was not necessary to limit the types of retail businesses at the proposed site.

However, council planners said in their report on the consent application, despite Mr Thompson’s assessment “there remains concern that the proposed development could contribute to what appears to be a trend of declining retail occupancy rates within the CBD”.”

Napier Inner City Marketing’s latest manager did something her predecessors never did – addressed this elephant in the room / CBD:

“We already have quite a significant amount of untenanted spaces in Napier.”

Is this is the fault of a few shops over a kilometre away in Marewa? No!

Outrageously high rents have taken business away from Napier’s CBD. Long-term empty shops, like the giant, boarded-up and half-abandoned Mid City Plaza have scared potential business away from Napier’s CBD.

NICM’s goals include promoting the central city and attracting diverse and vibrant businesses to the CBD. So why have they been so unsuccessful in filling the numerous empty shops in recent years?

The developers have at least shown some flexibility and agreed to alter their plans to suit the council.

“Matvin Group had offered to restrict the type of businesses at the site to “convenience” retailers – including food and beverage sellers, chemists, hair dressers, butchers, florists and dry cleaners – that were unlikely to be located in the CBD. That restriction has been included in a list of conditions council staff have recommended the hearings committee include in granting consent for the development.”

Here we have a major problem. Marewa Shopping Centre, mere meters away from the site being developed, already has long-established businesses providing those exact same things! You can’t tell me that replicating these businesses in such close proximity would have an adverse effect on the existing Marewa businesses!

I live just down the road from this development and half expected the site to become a Carls Jr or Wendy’s Drive-thru / Fast Food Takeaway – something that would be quite well suited for the site and most people wouldn’t mind.

However, the amount of noise and disruption a drive thru would cause to the suburban houses and streets surrounding it and a lack of space for parking makes it reasonably impractical and kind of rude to the neighbours.

So we are left with the current development debate.

As usual, it doesn’t do a thing to address what is central Napier’s biggest problem in recent years, but rather continues a NCC trend of deflecting blame. Such posturing is typical and sickening.

Napier deserves better!

There’s Something About a Magpie!

Posted on October 14, 2014 by Andrew Frame

While a number of ITM Cup unions are struggling and NZRU chief Steve Tew bemoans the fact that only a couple of provincial unions are making more money from ITM Cup gate receipts than they are from the NZRU’s financial support one union has been flying high this season and it’s done so on black and white striped wings – the Hawke’s Bay Magpies!

I wrote a while ago that the higher level elements of rugby in New Zealand have become all about the money and not the mana.

The difference between the community-based, “grass roots” HB Magpies winning back the Ranfurly Shield and the “corporate brand” known as the All Blacks hitting Napier at the same time in September was quite noticeable.

With high ticket prices and sponsors’ endorsements to fulfil, the All Blacks seemed a bit distant.

The Magpies, by comparison, paraded the ‘Shield across the bay, let the public have photos with it – the whole nine yards.

It instilled a level of provincial pride not seen for some time in Hawke’s Bay and a sense that the public were truly part of the team.

The Magpies have gone on to defend the shield and we will now hold it through the summer into next season.

As holders of the Ranfurly Shield, Hawke’s Bay has contracted “Magpie Fever”!

Wherever you go, there is black and white bunting. Ranfurly Shield pictures abound (sometimes it’s actually the genuine item). HB Magpies flags flutter from passing cars and there are more Hawke’s Bay Rugby jerseys being worn around town than I have ever seen before – Kooga must be making an absolute fortune!

The other organisation reaping the rewards is the Hawke’s Bay Rugby Union, who are expecting to make an almost million dollar profit from their extremely successful season.

But unlike bigger rugby franchises, the Magpies are paying back their fans:

HBRFU commercial and marketing manager Jay Campbell announced this week that tickets for all covered seating at McLean Park (the Harris, Graeme Lowe, Rodney Green and Chapman stands) when the Magpies take on Northland in the ITM Cup Quarterfinal this Friday night will be almost half price – a mere $17.50 (equivalent Ranfurly Shield match tickets cost $32.50).

“The rugby union said the match was an unbudgeted extra, and Mr Campbell said it was now time for the public to benefit.”

Another crowd of 12,000 at Friday’s game would mean around 75,000 people had been to McLean Park to watch the Magpies and All Blacks this season – An attendance record well in excess of anything since the Magpies’ legendary 1966-69 Ranfurly Shield reign.

HBRFU hoped to attract the crowd straight from work on Friday, opening the gates at 5.30pm and entertainment would include a band and children’s face-painting (mainly in black-and-white, of course!).

“This is all to thank the sponsors, the families, the public for what has been a truly remarkable six weeks of rugby in Hawke’s Bay,” Jay said.

This is an awesome result for not only the HBRFU, its players and management, but the whole Hawke’s Bay region. It proves what determination, passion and loyalty can produce. All of Hawke’s Bay benefits as a result!

PS: The All Blacks, meanwhile, went on to break their record winning streak with a loss to South Africa and their commercial partner Air NZ TRIPLED the cost of airfares to Samoa for the week of the ABs first ever test there. Sigh!

More Megalomaniacal Monopolistic Media Meddling!

Posted on October 13, 2014 by Andrew Frame

If it’s a choice between these two blowhards, I’ll pick Sacha McNeil, Michael Wilson & Marcus Lush every time!

It’s a sad indictment of New Zealand media that, rather than invest in new talent, we are once again dished up the same old “stars” that have been doing the rounds for years.

But now it’s even worse! Not only are they taking all the TV hosting positions, they’ll be “cross-medium” – taking up TV, radio and internet time simultaneously!!

Each year around the country hundreds of young, talented journalism, media and broadcasting students graduate and to what?

A tiny job market made even tinier by “NZME” (formerly The Radio Network and APN – we might as well lump “State Broadcaster” TVNZ in there as well, as they constantly interact / work with NZME affiliates) and Mediaworks (TV3, The Edge etc.) simulcasting their content across the nation from central studios and offices in Auckland with as small a staff as possible and evidently no great plans of expanding operations, or their talent pool.

Goodbye three years of study, over $30,000 in student loans / course costs and any hope of ever being the next Jay-Jay, Mike, Dom, Fletch, Vaughan, Megan, Hosking, Henry, Tom, Dick, or Harry!

Bring back the days of “Live and Local 24 Hours a Day” regional radio and other media, I say!

A bigger talent pool enabling graduates to get that all important, almost mythical in its rarity – EXPERIENCE and far more community interaction with their media.

After all, TV, radio and print are such intimate forms of communication – just you and the paper / screen / speakers that it seems absurd, almost insulting than some remote studio hundreds of kilometres away is the one telling you (or not, as the case has become) what is happening in your town

Death to Art Deco?

Posted on October 13, 2014 by Andrew Frame

I was told by someone a few years ago that after learning that Deco-themed weddings had become de rigeur and several had been included in weekend celebrations, an Art Deco Weekend guest speaker opined:

“Judging by the amount of grey hair of local devotees present tonight, I wouldn’t be too surprised if there weren’t a few upcoming Art Deco themed funerals!”

His comments weren’t overly well received at the time, apparently. But his idea obviously struck a chord somewhere, as at the next Art Deco Weekend, a “Death By Chocolate” event will be held at Dunstalls Funeral Parlour in Napier.

Funeral Director Paul Dunstall is an old family friend of mine. He is a great guy with a wicked sense of humour, so this comes as no real surprise.

But it does also raise two interesting points:

1/ When WILL there be an Art Deco Funeral.

2/ Having been Napier’s main tourist event for well over 20 years now, when will Art Deco Weekend start to die off?

Why haven’t we “Boldly Gone” anywhere yet?

Posted on October 13, 2014 by Andrew Frame

Why aren’t we “Boldly Going Where No-one Has Gone Before” yet?

A co-worker sent me a link today that I found very interesting and roused my inner Trekkie. It’s from ITWorld.com and titled “Why We Live in an Anti-Tech Age”

“Peter Thiel, a co-founder of PayPal, billionaire investor and author, is among those challenging the notion of innovation and progress. Thiel, who earned undergraduate and law degrees at Stanford University, spoke at the Gartner Symposium/IT this week about why the march of progress seems to have stalled.

“We live in a financial, capitalistic age, we do not live in a scientific or technological age,” said Thiel. “We live in a period were people generally dislike science and technology. Our culture dislikes it, our government dislikes it.”

From the 1960’s to the 1980’s we were bombarded with stories and images in books, TV and movies leading us to believe that one day in the near future, normally sometime around the almost-mythical year 2000 (so, fourteen years ago now), we would all have flying cars, have colonies living on the Moon and Mars and “Boldly go where no one has gone before!” across the universe.

And it wasn’t all just “Science Fiction” either; there was a world-wide technological race. President John F Kennedy encapsulated the “Space Race” portion of it in his “We promise to go to the moon” speech

“During the 1950s or 1960s, technology meant computers and rockets, underwater cities, new forms of energy and all sorts of supersonic airplanes. Since then, though, there “has been this narrowing” view that technology is mostly information technology”, Thiel said.

We certainly do seem to have plateaued, possibly even technologically declined since, as rather than create grand new things, we have merely altered and refined smaller items – Just look at the likes of the “iPhone” – an idea that had its inception in Star Trek’s “communicators”. But rather than moving onto teleport technology, we merely get a further refined iPhone in slightly different colours every few years.

“Economist Robert Gordon, in a paper for the American National Bureau of Economic Research in 2012 said there is an absence of the type of innovation that advances civilization in fundamental ways. True innovation is something like air conditioning, the combustion engine or the telephone.”

Rather than scrapping NASA’s manned space programme, why didn’t they focus on getting humans further into the solar system and universe? Where is our “Warp” technology?

It’s all pretty depressing, really. We go from being the species that aspired to the stars and reached the moon to, fifty years later, being seemingly even more stuck on this large round rock hurtling through space than we were back then!

If you follow Star Trek folklore, you’ll know that the humans are allegedly set to make first contact with another race (the Vulcans) on April 5, 2063 after the Vulcans pick up readings of Earth’s first “warp flight”.

That gives us just under 50 years to create and perfect the technology. Not utterly unrealistic considering, with government backing, the “Manhattan Project” created the nuclear bomb in a mere three and a half years.

But what “Why We Live in an Anti-Tech Age” highlights is the need for society, big business and governments to get behind such audacious developments and help push them along.

Until then, the closest we’ll get to boldly going where no one has gone before is this!

Topp Stuff!

Posted on September 29, 2014 by Andrew Frame

Four years ago, when I was doing the “Man About Town” column for BayBuzz, I interviewed Lynda Topp of the Topp Twins for a tour they were doing.

Well, Lynda and Jools Topp are coming back to Napier this month with a new show “The Grand Ole Topp’ry” paying homage to country music greats and celebrating contemporary Kiwi music, with the Topps’ fantastic style of comedy throughout.

The tour rides into Napier’s Municipal Theatre on 22 October tickets are available from Ticketek

Here’s my interview with Linda again for a bit of a Thursday throw-back!

Music runs in the blood of many famous New Zealand families. Bic & Boh Runga, Evermore’s Jon, Peter and Dan Hume and Tim & Neil Finn.

Jools and Lynda Topp are no exception. From an early age they were entertainers, performing for family and the animals on their parents’ Huntly farm. Busking to the stage, television to international movie screens, the Topp Twins have become more than just world famous in New Zealand.

They are now world famous in, well, the world. Their documentary feature film “Untouchable Girls – The Movie” has made approximately $2 million in New Zealand theatres, making it the highest selling New Zealand-made documentary ever.

I spoke to Lynda Topp earlier this week in the lead up their performance about their career, characters, fame and the darker side of their performances. The side not all parts of the community are comfortable with. Because Lynda is smitten … with yodeling.

When did you realize you had been bitten by the yodeling bug (or should that be mountain goat)?
From an early age. When I was about nine, I heard “Tinto, Pony and I” sung by June Holmes and that was it.

How did your parents take the news, were they very supportive?
For the first year of practicing, Mum banished me to the paddocks whenever I wanted to yodel. Our neighbours had an old wind-up gramophone and some country music vinyl records. We’d ride our horses down to their place, listen to the music, memorize as much of it as possible and ride back home to grab the guitar (which we weren’t allowed to carry on the horses). We’d play it and write it down, forget a part of it, ride back to the neighbors and so it continued. Seven years later we were good singers and we were excellent horsewomen!

Were you a yodeling child prodigy, or was it something that required a lot of hard toil?
There was a fair bit of work went into it. I didn’t publicly yodel for about six years until I was confident enough to perform. There are three things musically you can perform either brilliantly or do so horribly people will be after your head – bagpipes, the banjo and yodeling. I wanted to make sure I did it well.

I guess “The Sound of Music” would feature as one of your favorite movies thanks to the “Lonely Goatherd”?
No, that was particularly bad yodeling. Too ‘folksy’. Not ‘true’. We do more of a Swiss traditional or Cowboy (which the Americans developed from the Swiss) yodel. It’s one of those movies that get played every year around Christmas, so it gets a bit tiresome. So many of the big musical numbers are, or seem to be, done in one take, though. So from a performance perspective it was very good. In terms of costuming, not so much. Nowhere near enough lederhosen.
(When TV3 played the “Sound of Music” at Christmas, there was a transmission error and over half the movie was played, ironically, without sound!)

Speaking of “The Sound of Music” how do you solve a problem like Maria?
(Laughs) Send her out goat herding for seven or eight months.

What were some of your other musical and character/performance influences?
We grew up listening to country music. “The American Country Top 40″ radio show was a highlight of the week. The music was our inspiration, so we started writing songs very early too. Our driving force is always the music. The Gingham Sisters (a pair of country singing, spoon-playing sisters) were the first characters we came up with; the rest came later for the TV shows to add a bit of depth and comedy.

Two of your characters, “Prue & Dilly” are socialites from Hawke’s Bay. Sort of “Ab’ Fab’” meets CWI. Are they based on anyone we might know?
Our father used to be involved in polo when we were kids and a large proportion of the players came from Hawke’s Bay. So those two are more of a send-up or tribute to the polo ladies we met. They are larger than life party girls.

You should really bring them along to an Art Deco Weekend some time. I’m concerned some of the event goers may not realize they’re fictitious alter egos, though.
We’ve yet to attend an Art Deco Weekend. Prue & Dilly would love to go. They have some art deco pieces in their house and would love to go for a drive in one of the fancy vintage cars.

I remember seeing you perform at an A&P Show here a few years ago. Any fond or standout memories form Hawke’s Bay performances?
The Hawke’s Bay A&P Show always has a great traditional feel about it. A few years ago I got to ride a giant, championship Hereford bull as “Camp Mother” with Jools as “Camp Leader” leading it. I spent the whole time thinking “if this thing so much as flinches, I’m gone!” Our folks live in Hawke’s Bay now too, so we always have a good time when we’re up there.

A lot of people have grown up with you on the TV and in shows. The word “beloved” is often used with your names and you’ve grown quite a legion of fans here and overseas. Do you ever consider yourself ‘famous’?
No, not really. We have a lifestyle block, so we don’t see too many people other than when we’re doing shows or out shopping. If anything, we feel honored. If it weren’t for the fans, we wouldn’t be able to do what we do, so we always try to stop and have a chat, or sign an autograph etc. It’s quite funny; I’ve even had someone call out to me “Hey Ken!” (One of their characters) when I’m in the supermarket and not even in costume!

Is there a question you’ve always wanted to be asked, but never have? If so, what is it?
Yes, the question you just asked me. No one, until now, has asked, “How do you feel about your career?” (Woohoo! An exclusive!”)

What next for the Topp Twins? Politics, global Internet domination perhaps?
We’re going to play at the “Grand Ol’ Opry” in Nashville, Tennessee – that’s been a dream for many years. We’d like to do a ‘movie’ movie, now that the documentary has done so well. Otherwise just enjoying a good lifestyle and making people laugh!

Finally, Barry Manilow sang “I write the songs that make the whole world sing”. If you could write a song to make the whole world sing, what would it be about?
We already have one. It’s called “Untouchable Girls” and it’s become our trademark. We play it as the final song in our performances and for the last five shows we’ve done everyone has stood up at the end and sung it with us. That’s the sort of thing that makes it an honor for us.

“The Grand Ole Topp’ry” rides into Napier’s Municipal Theatre on 22 October tickets are available from Ticketek