Tag Archives: Writing

Let’s Grow a Mo 6.0

Posted on by
Reply
iMo 6.0

iMo 6.0

Things are about to get hairy once again, as Movember slowly grows upon us!

This will be my sixth year growing a moustache to help raise money and awareness of men’s health, particularly prostate cancer and depression. The cause is one very close to my heart (and face) as, like so many others, I’ve suffered from depression, am scared from cancer and if he had been more aware of his health, or more readily sought help, my dear Dad might still be here today.

A few years ago I put on a real push to raise money and ended up collecting over $230. I’d like to try and at least get close to that total again this year and I have a few ideas on how to drum up support and mo-ney for my Movember campaign.

I am a HUGE supporter of #BuyLocal and Hawke’s Bay businesses. Combine this with my hyperbolas talent with words and getting messages across in 140 characters or less and there are numerous opportunities, temporary rebrandings and partnerships that could help me get there.

Some are pretty straight forward – like:

Mo-ana Park Winery

and

Mo(re) FM

Others require a bit of creativity or editing:

Like Bay EspressMO – in particular, my usual cafe haunt in Napier: “Six Sisters”, or, for this case, “Six Mo Sistas”

An alpha-numeric swap-around makes Kent Baddeley’s fantastic restaurant, “10 Twenty Four” become “M0 Twenty Four”!

Similarly, turn the name of #Awesome local internet provider “NOW” upside down and you get “MO(N)”!

And this is only the beginning!

One of my favourite new food ventures in Napier is “Donut Robot” – a very cool little retro caravan in Carlyle Street, across the road from Countdown, who makes and sells fresh American donuts.

When cut in half, these tasty treats look remarkably like, you guessed it, moustaches! “Donut Robot” could become “Mo-nut Robot” – serving delicious sugared or iced “mo-nuts”! “Would you like sprinkles on your “Mo-nut”, sir?” (I will have to ask Steve the owner about that idea…).

There are even more fabulous ideas spinning around in my head, but I’d better keep them for later in case someone tries to flog them.

If you would like to donate to the Mo cause and help raise funding and awareness for NZ men’s health, you can do so HERE!

Mission: Impossible

Posted on by
Reply

TheMiss

Well, it had to happen eventually, I guess. There will be NO Mission Concert in the foreseeable future next year.

As if recent years’ attempts to find “suitable” acts weren’t desperate enough, organisers COMPLETELY FAILED to find ANYONE this time!

As the saying goes: “You had ONE job to do…”

For all the usual hype and fluff that surrounds the build-up to what used to be one of Hawke’s Bay’s premiere summer events nothing has eventuated.

While I am not surprised – recent Mission Concerts seem to have slowly degenerated into a mass piss-up with a side order of tunes from some long-forgotten muso, I still appreciate what it did for local businesses like moteliers, cafés etc.. The failure of event organisers to actually organise ANYTHING will hurt local business badly and that’s not good enough!

There is an expression that something past its prime has “Jumped the Shark”, well, did the Mission Concert mistime its jump and fall into the shark tank, or was it pushed?

Either way Hawke’s Bay deserves better!

Scarface Claw, the Toughest Tom in Town!

Posted on by
Reply
Did it hurt? Only when you tried to rip the plasters off...

Did it hurt? Only when you tried to rip the plasters off…

When last we left our ruggedly handsome hero, he was about to go under the knife to have a number of Basal Cell Carcinomas (BCCs) removed.

You’ll be pleased to know (hopefully…) that the procedure went well and everything is healing up nicely!

The number of BCCs removed was less than anticipated, but that was merely because three of the BCCs they removed from in front of my left ear were in such close proximity that, rather than removing them individually, they were all taken out in one fell swoop – resulting in a pretty decent sized, but very manly-looking scar.

If anything, needles and other sharp metal things aside, spending a couple hours lying down, away from work and our 10 month old daughter meant it was possibly the most relaxing couple hours I have had in a very, very long time.

The only downside was the amount of bandaging adhered to me head after the operation. While subtly skin-coloured, due to the location of the affected spots, a fair chunk of adhesive tape ventured into my hairline and half of one eyebrow – rendering any emotive facial expression rather painful.

The scars have healed up very nicely and I have since graduated down to a couple pieces of 1cm wide strapping tape to keep the scars as flat as possible for another couple weeks.

My procedure was conducted under local anaesthetic, so I was awake the whole time and the surgeon, nurse and I passed the time discussing a range of things from blogging – the surgeon, who already spends hours reading pages and pages of case notes, medical journals etc. each week, didn’t get the point of them; to Jack Reacher books; to his workload and the prevalence of skin cancers in New Zealand

He thinks the number of cases nation-wide is increasing, but as New Zealand apparently doesn’t have a “cancer register” or the likes, the medical fraternity can’t be completely certain.

He personally sees about 20 cases a week – that’s over 1000 cases of skin cancer a year – and he’s only one lower north island surgeon. Quite startling figures!

As I said last time: If YOU have any suspiscious moles or spots on you skin, PLEASE see your doctor, or somewhere like Molemap to get them checked out! It may be nothing at all, it may result in a small scar, or it could save your life!

There’s Something About a Magpie!

Posted on by
Reply

G

While a number of ITM Cup unions are struggling and NZRU chief Steve Tew bemoans the fact that only a couple of provincial unions are making more money from ITM Cup gate receipts than they are from the NZRU’s financial support one union has been flying high this season and it’s done so on black and white striped wings – the Hawke’s Bay Magpies!

I wrote a while ago that the higher level elements of rugby in New Zealand have become all about the money and not the mana.

The difference between the community-based, “grass roots” HB Magpies winning back the Ranfurly Shield and the “corporate brand” known as the All Blacks hitting Napier at the same time in September was quite noticeable.

With high ticket prices and sponsors’ endorsements to fulfil, the All Blacks seemed a bit distant.

The Magpies, by comparison, paraded the ‘Shield across the bay, let the public have photos with it – the whole nine yards.

It instilled a level of provincial pride not seen for some time in Hawke’s Bay and a sense that the public were truly part of the team.

The Magpies have gone on to defend the shield and we will now hold it through the summer into next season.

T

As holders of the Ranfurly Shield, Hawke’s Bay has contracted “Magpie Fever”!

Wherever you go, there is black and white bunting. Ranfurly Shield pictures abound (sometimes it’s actually the genuine item). HB Magpies flags flutter from passing cars and there are more Hawke’s Bay Rugby jerseys being worn around town than I have ever seen before – Kooga must be making an absolute fortune!

The other organisation reaping the rewards is the Hawke’s Bay Rugby Union, who are expecting to make an almost million dollar profit from their extremely successful season.

But unlike bigger rugby franchises, the Magpies are paying back their fans:

HBRFU commercial and marketing manager Jay Campbell announced this week that tickets for all covered seating at McLean Park (the Harris, Graeme Lowe, Rodney Green and Chapman stands) when the Magpies take on Northland in the ITM Cup Quarterfinal this Friday night will be almost half price – a mere $17.50 (equivalent Ranfurly Shield match tickets cost $32.50).

“The rugby union said the match was an unbudgeted extra, and Mr Campbell said it was now time for the public to benefit.”

Another crowd of 12,000 at Friday’s game would mean around 75,000 people had been to McLean Park to watch the Magpies and All Blacks this season – An attendance record well in excess of anything since the Magpies’ legendary 1966-69 Ranfurly Shield reign.

HBRFU hoped to attract the crowd straight from work on Friday, opening the gates at 5.30pm and entertainment would include a band and children’s face-painting (mainly in black-and-white, of course!).

“This is all to thank the sponsors, the families, the public for what has been a truly remarkable six weeks of rugby in Hawke’s Bay,” Jay said.

This is an awesome result for not only the HBRFU, its players and management, but the whole Hawke’s Bay region. It proves what determination, passion and loyalty can produce. All of Hawke’s Bay benefits as a result!

PS: The All Blacks, meanwhile, went on to break their record winning streak with a loss to South Africa and their commercial partner Air NZ TRIPLED the cost of airfares to Samoa for the week of the ABs first ever test there. Sigh!

More Megalomaniacal Monopolistic Media Meddling!

Posted on by
Reply
If it's a choice between these two blowhards, I'll pick Sacha McNeil, Michael Wilson & Marcus Lush every time!

If it’s a choice between these two blowhards, I’ll pick Sacha McNeil, Michael Wilson & Marcus Lush every time!

It’s a sad indictment of New Zealand media that, rather than invest in new talent, we are once again dished up the same old “stars” that have been doing the rounds for years.

But now it’s even worse! Not only are they taking all the TV hosting positions, they’ll be “cross-medium” – taking up TV, radio and internet time simultaneously!!

Each year around the country hundreds of young, talented journalism, media and broadcasting students graduate and to what?

A tiny job market made even tinier by “NZME” (formerly The Radio Network and APN – we might as well lump “State Broadcaster” TVNZ in there as well, as they constantly interact / work with NZME affiliates) and Mediaworks (TV3, The Edge etc.) simulcasting their content across the nation from central studios and offices in Auckland with as small a staff as possible and evidently no great plans of expanding operations, or their talent pool.

Goodbye three years of study, over $30,000 in student loans / course costs and any hope of ever being the next Jay-Jay, Mike, Dom, Fletch, Vaughan, Megan, Hosking, Henry, Tom, Dick, or Harry!

Bring back the days of “Live and Local 24 Hours a Day” regional radio and other media, I say!

A bigger talent pool enabling graduates to get that all important, almost mythical in its rarity – EXPERIENCE and far more community interaction with their media.

After all, TV, radio and print are such intimate forms of communication – just you and the paper / screen / speakers that it seems absurd, almost insulting than some remote studio hundreds of kilometres away is the one telling you (or not, as the case has become) what is happening in your town

Death to Art Deco?

Posted on by
Reply

DBC

I was told by someone a few years ago that after learning that Deco-themed weddings had become de rigeur and several had been included in weekend celebrations, an Art Deco Weekend guest speaker opined:

“Judging by the amount of grey hair of local devotees present tonight, I wouldn’t be too surprised if there weren’t a few upcoming Art Deco themed funerals!”

His comments weren’t overly well received at the time, apparently. But his idea obviously struck a chord somewhere, as at the next Art Deco Weekend, a “Death By Chocolate” event will be held at Dunstalls Funeral Parlour in Napier.

Funeral Director Paul Dunstall is an old family friend of mine. He is a great guy with a wicked sense of humour, so this comes as no real surprise.

But it does also raise two interesting points:

1/ When WILL there be an Art Deco Funeral.

2/ Having been Napier’s main tourist event for well over 20 years now, when will Art Deco Weekend start to die off?

Why haven’t we “Boldly Gone” anywhere yet?

Posted on by
Reply
Why aren't we "Boldly Going Where No-one Has Gone Before" yet?

Why aren’t we “Boldly Going Where No-one Has Gone Before” yet?

A co-worker sent me a link today that I found very interesting and roused my inner Trekkie. It’s from ITWorld.com and titled “Why We Live in an Anti-Tech Age”

“Peter Thiel, a co-founder of PayPal, billionaire investor and author, is among those challenging the notion of innovation and progress. Thiel, who earned undergraduate and law degrees at Stanford University, spoke at the Gartner Symposium/IT this week about why the march of progress seems to have stalled.

“We live in a financial, capitalistic age, we do not live in a scientific or technological age,” said Thiel. “We live in a period were people generally dislike science and technology. Our culture dislikes it, our government dislikes it.”

From the 1960’s to the 1980’s we were bombarded with stories and images in books, TV and movies leading us to believe that one day in the near future, normally sometime around the almost-mythical year 2000 (so, fourteen years ago now), we would all have flying cars, have colonies living on the Moon and Mars and “Boldly go where no one has gone before!” across the universe.

And it wasn’t all just “Science Fiction” either; there was a world-wide technological race. President John F Kennedy encapsulated the “Space Race” portion of it in his “We promise to go to the moon” speech

“During the 1950s or 1960s, technology meant computers and rockets, underwater cities, new forms of energy and all sorts of supersonic airplanes. Since then, though, there “has been this narrowing” view that technology is mostly information technology”, Thiel said.

We certainly do seem to have plateaued, possibly even technologically declined since, as rather than create grand new things, we have merely altered and refined smaller items – Just look at the likes of the “iPhone” – an idea that had its inception in Star Trek’s “communicators”. But rather than moving onto teleport technology, we merely get a further refined iPhone in slightly different colours every few years.

“Economist Robert Gordon, in a paper for the American National Bureau of Economic Research in 2012 said there is an absence of the type of innovation that advances civilization in fundamental ways. True innovation is something like air conditioning, the combustion engine or the telephone.”

Rather than scrapping NASA’s manned space programme, why didn’t they focus on getting humans further into the solar system and universe? Where is our “Warp” technology?

It’s all pretty depressing, really. We go from being the species that aspired to the stars and reached the moon to, fifty years later, being seemingly even more stuck on this large round rock hurtling through space than we were back then!

If you follow Star Trek folklore, you’ll know that the humans are allegedly set to make first contact with another race (the Vulcans) on April 5, 2063 after the Vulcans pick up readings of Earth’s first “warp flight”.

That gives us just under 50 years to create and perfect the technology. Not utterly unrealistic considering, with government backing, the “Manhattan Project” created the nuclear bomb in a mere three and a half years.

But what “Why We Live in an Anti-Tech Age” highlights is the need for society, big business and governments to get behind such audacious developments and help push them along.

Until then, the closest we’ll get to boldly going where no one has gone before is this!

The Hairs on My Chinny-Chin-Chin

Posted on by
Reply
Separated at birth? Two fine examples of rugged, antipodean handsomeness! 

Separated at birth? Two fine examples of rugged, antipodean handsomeness! 

What do Hollywood stud muffin, Hugh Jackman and I have in common?

Quite a lot, evidently!

We’re both:
• Fine examples of rugged, antipodean handsomeness.
• Rocking pretty kick-arse beards at the moment.
• And we’ve both been diagnosed with the same type of skin cancer.

Yes, his Wolverine-ness and I have both had “Basel Cell Carsinomas” removed.

But never fear – neither Hugh, nor I will be shuffling off this mortal coil any time soon! BCCs are the most common form of cancer. In terms of skin cancers they are one of the “better ones” (if there is such a thing – sounds like an oxymoron to me) to get and while rarely fatal, do have a nasty habit of spreading and tend to ulcerate their surrounding skin making them quite unsightly in the long-run. So they are still considered “malignant” and best removed as soon as possible.

They are most commonly a result of over exposure to ultra-violet light, making sun-loving Australians like Hugh and cricket playing New Zealanders like myself prime candidates. My surgeon tells me there might also be a fair dose of heredity in contracting them too. Both my Mum and Dad had BCCs removed, so it was only a matter of time before I was next.

Earlier this year Hugh took to social media to encourage others to wear sunscreen and get any dodgy moles checked after he had a second procedure to remove a BCC from his nose.

In a couple weeks’ time I’m going under the knife again, too, to get some more removed. This time from around my face and ear.

It’s one of the reasons I’ve been growing a beard over winter – not to hide them, but because my moles are around my hairline, so I will be undergoing a very severe buzz-cut before surgery and decided to enjoy some facial hirsuteness while I could.

My wife loves my beard, calling it “the least douchey beard I have ever seen” (That IS a compliment… I think…) – she appears to have a pathological hatred of the current “Hipster Beard” trend.

Working in the office of a forestry company, I’ve gone more for the “Full Lumberjack” look. “And I’m OK” with that!

My new cranial aerodynamic-ness will come in handy with the cricket season fast approaching and I won’t have to fuss about with my hair in the morning for about three months. It will, however, also show off the aftermath of surgery rather obviously.

But I will wear my scars with pride. They certainly aren’t my first and won’t be my last. Like the frown and smile lines around my eyes and face, they will show I’ve lived (and will continue to live) a full life. I’m sure Hugh will do exactly the same!

If YOU have any suspiscious moles or spots on you skin, PLEASE see your doctor, or somewhere like Molemap to get them checked out! It may be nothing at all, it may result in a small scar, or it could save your life!

It’s Diwali Time Again!!

Posted on by
Reply
Mark it in your calendar & I'll see you there!

Mark it in your calendar & I’ll see you there!

Hawke’s Bay’s annual Diwali Festival is once again being held at Napier’s Soundshell on Saturday October 4th from 6pm.

I’ve been to virtually every one and they’re BRILLIANT! A wondrous fusion of food, fun, music and dance – the highlight of my cultural calendar.

If you are a business that would like to be part of the festival, contact Bhavna Nagar.

Otherwise, I’ll see you there on the 4th!

🙂

Here, Fishy, Fishy, Fishy!

Posted on by
Reply

Fish stocks in Hawke Bay are getting so low local recreational fishers have had to resort to using some drastic measures:

As part of the tri-annual “Election Promise-fest”, New Zealand’s governing National Party said they would establish “Recreational Fishing Parks” in the inner Hauraki Gulf and the entire Marlborough Sounds – banning commercial fishing from operating in those areas.

I was in the car with talkback radio on an hour or so after the policy was announced and callers’ reactions, like a school of kingfish sensing a big pot of burly in the water, were fast and severe.

The most common bite the promised bait received was “It won’t make any difference as there isn’t really any commercial fishing in those places as it is!”

Sounds like their plan hit a bit of a snag.

The day before he announced this plan Prime Minister John Key was in Napier to attend the All Blacks vs. Argentina game at McLean Park. As part of his visit he spent some time schmoozing with party faithful at a bar in Napier’s party central-come commercial fishing port, Ahuriri.

In such an ideal location I think Mr Key missed out on a great opportunity for local votes by not announcing his “Recreational Fishing Park” plan here and including in the plan a body of water very close and dear to our hearts – Hawke Bay!

Fish stocks in Hawke Bay have been in decline for some time. Catching fish by surfcasting or kon-tiki from the shores around Napier is proving more and more fruitless. Many recreational boat fishermen I know don’t even bother going out on the bay much any more either, as the number of fish they catch has gone down almost as fast as the price of fuel for their boats has gone up, making it no longer worth the effort or cost.

Hawke’s Bay Sport Fishing Club, along with Advocacy group LegaSea, conducted a study into recreational catches in Hawke Bay over an eight year (fishing is best over the summer here, so the results covered December-February) period.

14,744 anglers recorded over 115 days of fishing competition how many fish (the survey included five species: snapper, gurnard, tarakihi, trevally and groper) they caught. The results were based on the number of fish per angler, per day and ranged from a high of 2.23 gurnard per angler, per day in 2011-12 to a low of 0.006 groper the same year. The average fish per angler, per day over that 8 year period works out as 0.654 – that’s just over half a fish per person, per trip. It’s hardly worth it!

The low fishing stocks hurt the local business as much as the anglers, as there is an estimated 2,000 recreational boats in the region at a total value of around $83 million. Add to that $28 million of fishing gear and over $10 million in fuel, maintenance, fuel etc. and recreational fishing has an estimated value of at least $121 MILLION to Hawke’s Bay’s economy!

Commercial fishing operations, by comparison, are actually expanding! While most big operators in the region fish outside of Hawke Bay – mainly out towards the Hikurangi Trench and beyond, it is not uncommon to see commercial boats operating within the limits of Mahia Peninsula and Cape Kidnappers. I have even seen commercial fishing boats regularly running a couple hundred meters offshore along by Hawke’s Bay Airport. You can guarantee they are catching more than 0.654 of a fish – That’s just not fair!

So, Mr Key. I understand you’re visiting Napier again today (Thursday 18 September). Your local MP’s have been rather ineffectual in the region despite claiming they are “Backing the Bay”, so let’s see if you can do any better. Add Hawke Bay to your list of “Recreational Fishing Parks”. Ensure the conservation of our region’s salt water fish stocks. Keep our recreational fishermen and fisherwomen happy with tight lines and bobbing rods. Make sure a pastime worth hundreds of millions of dollars to our region doesn’t end up floating belly-up in an empty Hawke Bay.

Hawke’s (and Hawke) Bay deserves better!

*In Breaking News*
There may be further reasoning to making Hawke Bay a “Recreational Fishing Park” as Ministry of Primary Industry agents swooped on a local fishing business after it appeared their in-shore catch records were substantially less than they had been recording as exporting.