Napier’s “Broadcasting House”, now renamed for current tenants NZME. Bay City Radio occupied the top floor. The studio I did the kids’ show in was the windows directly above the main ground floor door.
Or even volunteering at Radio Kidnappers Access Radio while in high school.
In August 1984 I got to be the “Co-Pilot” on Bay City Radio’s Sunday morning kids’ show.
Bay City Radio 1278AM was THE local radio station for Hawke’s Bay for years and years. This is back when radio was broadcast locally, the announcers were locals (and some became minor local celebrities) and its constant focus was the local community.
There was a weekday breakfast show, talkback radio from about 9am until midday, with music in the afternoon and evenings.
On Saturday mornings all the upcoming local sporting fixtures for the weekend were promoted or dissected and commentary of big games, like the HB Magpies playing at McLean Park were often broadcast live in the afternoons.
On Sunday mornings there was a kids’ show, which had a local kid as co-host, or “Co-Pilot” (I don’t remember pressing any buttons, or taking charge of any controls, though.)
The Tamatea Hawks! I’m middle, back row (as always) Robert Stewart is to the left of me with the rounded collar. That’s his Dad, the radio announcer who coached us that year.
My friend Robert Stewart’s dad worked at Bay City Radio for a bit (they moved away not long after) and I though radio was pretty cool – I listened to the kids’ show every week, so must have written in, like so many others, asking to be part of it and I got selected.
I remember excitedly reading the letter we received confirming my selection in the driveway of our home one Saturday morning.
There was a few weeks’ notice of my appearance on the show, but I don’t remember much more than that, or the events of the big day itself.
Dad took me to the station early on Sunday morning (it was after dawn, but not by much), while Mum stayed at home and recorded the event on a cassette tape (kids, if you don’t know what one of these is, ask your parents…. Actually, you might be best asking your grandparents.)
I had found the tape when I was clearing out things at Mum and Dad’s place years ago but more recently looking through the mementos in my shed, I couldn’t find it and thought the tape was lost to the ages.
A couple weeks ago we gave away a large pinboard we had been given by a friend, but never got around to using. It had been leaning up against some garage cupboards that I had limited access to.
I looked inside the cash box AND FOUND THE CASSETTE TAPE!
However, I didn’t know if it would even still work – We no longer had any cassette players in the house, the tape itself was close to 40 years old, and I remember it got tangled up at least once or twice during replays years ago, so I wasn’t certain if any audio was recoverable.
I took the tape into Dean Mardon at Electric City Music in Napier, just down Dalton Street from Bay City Radio’s old studio, now “NZME House” (see top picture, ECM is down the road to the left in the picture) to see if he could digitize whatever was on there for me.
The condition of the tape wasn’t nearly as bad as I had feared and there was almost a full hour of recording!
I gave the file to a work colleague, who happens to be a former TVNZ audio man to clean up and, to avoid copyright infringements, remove any songs so I could upload it to YouTube.
For those playing at home the songs removed are: The Beatles’ Yellow Submarine, “Flick the Little Fire Engine”, “You’re a Pink Toothbrush “, Rolf Harris’ “Two Little Boys” (hindsight is 20/20 etc…), “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious” from Mary Poppins and the show closes out with, quite prophetically, Kermit the Frog singing “Rainbow Connection”.
You can listen to the edited version of it here:
I cried listening to it for the first time in over 35 years.
It’s a bit funny, a bit cringey, certainly nostalgic and, today, a bit sad, because I can hear my Mum’s voice, or rather her speech patterns in how I talked back then, and I can remember Dad sitting quietly in the corner of the studio, over my right shoulder, pleased as Punch.
For years I remembered it as my friend Robert’s dad as the host of the show, but it was a man named Colin Harris.
We talk about my school, Tamatea Primary, my apparent bus driving career aspirations (??), what I was doing in the school holidays (my studio stint was in the middle of the second and third term of the year – there were only three school terms back then), I say “Hi!” to my friends and <Gasp!> girlfriends (I was only six, OK?!)
I even got to do the weather!
Time has sadly robbed my memory of some of the finer details – I have no recollection whatsoever of a couple of my friends and one apparent “love interest” mentioned, and the fact I had to Google the movie “Sword of the Valiant“, which I say I wanted to see (most likely at the State Cinema diagonally across the Dickens / Dalton Streets intersection from the station) probably indicates I never got to see it.
Mrs Unwin’s class, 1984. I, back row, middle, look like a serial killer in waiting because the photographer kept telling me to “look down” so I would fit in the picture. I took stage instruction seriously.
My first foray in front of a microphone probably wouldn’t win many awards with several long, thought-filled pauses (dreaded “dead air” as it’s called in the industry), but there are still some moments of brilliance for an almost seven-year-old that make the likes of today’s simulcast announcers sound like a pack of un-funny men-children (#SpoilerAlert: That’s not hard to do, but sadly no one better is given the chance to!)
It was, however, the start of a lifelong dream for me to be on radio. A dream that has mostly only seen failure over the last three decades, as local radio in Hawke’s Bay has been cut back and cut back, undermined and undermined.
I have said that I don’t suffer from the “old pain” of nostalgia, but some recent events do poke at old wounds, gnawing “what-ifs” irritate and sometimes you just miss your Mum and Dad who did lots of little things like taking you to a radio station, and recording you on a cassette tape years ago.
I would be “almost seven, still a bit six” in this photo
On Thursday 8 September public submissions to the Aotearoa New Zealand Public Media Bill closed.
The bill relates to the merging of broadcasters Radio New Zealand and Television New Zealand – something that doesn’t sound too dissimilar to the old NZBC – New Zealand Broadcasting Corporation that I grew up watching and listening to the germinated seeds of as a child in the golden days of New Zealand broadcasting and media creativity of the 1980s.
Currently Radio NZ operates as a commercial-free public / “state” broadcaster, while TVNZ is far less beholden to the government and public, operating far more on a commercial basis.
Under the previous Labour government TVNZ had a charter that required more public interest content and less focus on ratings after years of profit-driven commercial desolation.
Extra channels, TVNZ 6 & 7, took up most of that slack, but when National took power following that administration the charter was ditched, unique content on TVNZ 6 & TVNZ 7 was scrapped and replaced with “+1” (one hour delayed broadcasts) versions of TVNZ 1 and 2’s purely commercial, cheap, “hyper-reality” television and imported shows for yet another decade..
At least public submissions give those with concerns, interests (vested or purely platonic) the opportunity to have their say on the makeup of the new bill and organisation.
Particularly how a minority of voices in New Zealand’s main centers get amplified and platformed in multiplicity, while the majority of news, views and issues in regional New Zealand get ignored, or told they don’t matter.
I couldn’t let this opportunity to have my say heard (or read), so I wrote up and sent in a submission last week.
It might not make a difference, or it may. At least I had the opportunity to try and make a difference, so I did!
The following is my submission to government on the Aotearoa New Zealand Public Media Bill (the links I have referenced here were not included in my submission, as it was delivered in PDF format):
I support the combining of Television New Zealand and Radio New Zealand into one entity, providing it provides true “Plurality of Voice”.
“Plurality of Voice” is a term that has been so overused by media managers and political pundits in recent years that it has become a cliché.
Rather than meaning a platform for numerous voices (plural), it has continued to be the same select few voices platformed in plurality across television, radio, internet, and print, as has become far too common in commercial New Zealand media – An echo of one.
Under the proposed new public media model, I would not expect to see Radio New Zealand announcers appearing regularly on Television New Zealand or vice versa, as we currently see with the same people from commercial NZME radio regularly appearing on state-owned TVNZ, just as regularly happens in the commercial sector with what was formerly Mediaworks having the same few people on their radio brands also making up large portions of their television talent roster.
This is NOT a plurality of voices.
Having a government-funded Radio New Zealand presenter criticizing their employer’s television operations’ funding on his other commercial television job is not a professional look for anyone involved.
Too few people across too many media formats for too long is not a realistic media representation of Aotearoa, New Zealand.
Especially considering the tiny geographic area and demographic most nationally broadcast and simulcast staff come from being pakeha, middle-upper-class Auckland.
The revitalized New Zealand public media entity needs to be a truer representation of ALL New Zealand providing the news from all around Aotearoa and telling the stories of Dianne from Dunedin, Tane from Te Awamutu, Andrew from Hawke’s Bay, Waverly from Waverly, or Clive from Cromwell.
The parochial main-centre mindset of commercial New Zealand media that has done so much to undermine the relevance of and trust in New Zealand media over the past two decades must be disposed of under this new entity if trust is to be regained.
When Newsroom’s Mark Jennings wrote in 2017 that he didn’t believe TVNZ having reporters in regional centres is a good idea because:
Failing infrastructure has become of national significance – The Havelock North Water Crisis, Wellington water woes and Three Waters Reforms have caused coverage of the issue to go from a trickle to a flood.
Are we expected to just accept failings, ineptitude, cronyism or corruption at local government or business level in regional New Zealand, because it doesn’t affect those in Auckland, or it doesn’t matter because it’s not at central government level in Wellington?
Of course not!
It is the role of media to expose these issues and failings at ALL levels in ALL places.
A true public interest media with true nationwide representation is what Aotearoa deserves.
What viewers in Invercargill, or Whanganui “don’t give a toss about”, to quote Mr. Jennings, is traffic troubles and house prices in Auckland – something that has been given vastly disproportionate commercial media coverage for years. Largely, the rest of New Zealand must assume because it effects the majority of the country’s media industry people based in Auckland.
It is not without reason that Television New Zealand has often been chided as “Television Auckland”.
Regional New Zealand matters and its stories and issues deserve far more coverage than they currently get from commercial media models.
Which is why the reliance on commercial media industry input in the planning for the new Aotearoa Public Media entity concerns me.
In 2019 Newshub’s former Chief News Officer Hal Crawford opined via one of his own network’s many platforms at how they were struggling to survive, while Television New Zealand no longer had to produce a dividend to their shareholders (the NZ government).
For the last 20 years Aotearoa’s commercial media networks have actively gutted regional coverage & newsrooms to increase operations in their big city headquarters & profits for their shareholders.
If half to two-thirds of New Zealand (the population outside of Auckland) is good enough to be an income stream for these commercial media networks, then surely, MORALLY, they are good enough to deserve equal news coverage.
If these media outlets started paying more attention to their local consumers again, then the locals might become more interested in buying their LOCAL paper/news content again, rather than turning to the much-commercial-media- vilified social media platforms where concerned locals massively underrepresented by commercial media started voluntarily doing the job their local media no longer did.
These same networks now readily take advantage of Radio New Zealand’s largesse reprinting the state broadcaster’s regionally relevant Local Democracy Reporting news items amidst waffling opinion pieces from network talkback and breakfast radio hosts.
Radio New Zealand and Television New Zealand already have staff and facilities in many regional cities in New Zealand. Under the new combined entity, I would expect to see these hubs increase and expand in size and number, giving greater voice to a greater plurality of people, issues and areas, allowing breaking news and ongoing issues to be broadcast and reported on firsthand with greater ease and frequency.
I realize most of the issues I have raised concern commercial media in Aotearoa.
But these are the major issues that a new, combined public media entity must deal with and rise above, as New Zealand’s commercial media model has done so much to damage its own industry, market, and the public’s trust for too long.
Journalism and media are ultimately public services, not profit gathering exercises.
They provide information, entertainment, and company to millions.
I believe combining Radio New Zealand and Television New Zealand under one umbrella is a good idea, as I lovingly remember the rich creative, media and cultural output the similar, earlier NZBC (New Zealand Broadcasting Corporation) and early iterations of TVNZ provided generations of 1980s kiwi kids like myself before all that wonderful local content became “too expensive” to produce.
I want to see and hear this same and greater levels of exposition, creativity, culture, news, and issues from all across Aotearoa for current and future generations on current and future modes of media platforming.
But it needs to be literally broad-casting in its talent and content, reaching and serving all across Aotearoa.
It can no longer be the plurality of echoes of a few, but a true plurality of New Zealand voices broadcast across the country and the world!
It reminds me of fun times with my Dad, and is one creative pursuit I’m not rubbish at!
I’ve been doing it since I was a kid, but more seriously in the last 15 or so years, getting more detailed and technical, but still never to the level of a “rivet-counter“, or “anorak“.
I thought it was making a post out of this build, though, because it’s one of the most technical builds I’ve ever done.
The picture above is of a Mk.Vc Supermarine Spitfire that had been forced to crash-land / “ditch” on the beach of Salerno, southern Italy in 1943 after being hit in the engine during the allied landings as part of their invasion of the country in World War 2.
I’d been wanting to built an American Spitfire for some time and this picture caught my eye.
It was an American squadron – The big white star surrounded by a blue circle was one of the US Air Force’s insignia during WWII – and the subject matter looked cool: it was partly submerged / beached.
Being beached I could do something new I had never done before – use clear resin to cast water as a base!
Get Your Kit On
I found the ideal kit – An Airfix 1/72 Mk.Vc Spitfire which happened to have the exact “MX P” markings at my local model shop, Cool Toys, in Napier and got it on sale with another Airfix kit of a German Focke-Wulf Fw 190 over the Christmas / New Year holiday last year.
During my summer break I built them with another model I had in my stash – an American P-51D Mustang.
I tend to make models in batches of two or three, so you can do parts of one while waiting for glue or paint to dry on the others.
I also have a thing where for every Spitfire I build, I have to do a Mustang, too – I currently have eight of each in 1/72 scale. I have to keep my display balanced!
It helps that these two planes are some of the most prevralent model subjects out there and, particularly the Mustang, are a fantastic chrome canvas for so many different squadron paint schemes and types of nose art.
I did a bit of “kit-bashing” by cutting out the drop-down pilot’s door, which was just cast as part of the fuselage.
The kit came together really easily and was a pleasure to build.
It looked pretty cool once painted and decaled, too!
(Don’t) Drop the Base.
By father-in-law had some scrap 10mm plywood lying around his workshop that happened to be just the right dimensions for the diorama’s base.
I squared it up, then used his bench saw to rout out 3/4 of the ply to form the part where the sea would be, with the higher section being the beach.
I knew I wanted to use clear epoxy resin for the sea, but wasn’t sure if I wanted it all to be a freestanding block, or contained somehow.
As this was my first attempt at casting resin I decided that using a base with a frame would be easier, so I cut four additional 1cm thick strips to surround the base, nailed and glued them in place and gave it a quick squirt of varnish.
Next, for the beach I used model railway ballast – a course sand that is spread over model train tracks and scenery to simulate gravel.
The two 1/72 figures were given to me by my Twitter friend and fellow modeler, Phil Tanner.
Unlike the original scene where it appears the men are a soldier and a Military Policeman (hence the arm band), I used a pilot figure and another airman. It gave more of a “Well, you stuffed that up!” vibe.
I slathered the base in PVA glue, before liberally shaking a capful of the ballast over top and shaking off the excess sand.
After some online research and emailing the retailer with some questions I ordered Easy Cast clear casting epoxy from Resincraft in Auckland. I also got some blue dye to give the resin a more aquatic tinge, but when finished I don’t think I put enough in, as it still looks pretty clear.
The mixing and pouring only takes a few minutes, but I took my time getting the measurements right so I didn’t have too little, and the plane would look like it was sitting in a mere puddle, or too much and I waste resin, or it overflowed everywhere.
Once mixed and poured I spent some time getting rid of the tiny bubbles that float to the surface through the mixing process, but they dissipated quickly and 24 hours later “the sea” looked glossy, clear and solid!
The resin set perfectly, but very smoothly. Some ocean motion was required.
While the resin looks fantastic, it also looks like flat glass, not the ideal facsimile of an Italian seaside).
There are a bunch of YouTube videos on how to make waves with gel medium, though they’re normally part of bigger videos of casting resin as water / sea. They give good demonstrations of the best application techniques for getting general oceanic surface disturbance.
Even with the gel medium still wet (it dries clear) it looks.like a blustery day on Hawke Bay!
I got another Twitter friend, Steve Blade of Davy Engravers Hamilton, to make a little name plate for the scene.
As the soldiers in the original photo were looking quite bemusedly at the beached plane, and I had heard the term several times in jest recently I thought what better title than “You Can’t Park There, Mate!”.
I’m super happy with the finished product!
Some builds fight you every step of the way – this was not one of them.
Everything just went right, making this a really fun, enjoyable build and an educational extension of my modeling skills.
“The Saddle Road” linking Hawke’s Bay (via Tararua District) with Manawatū ever since the 2017 closure of the Manawatū Gorge in a constant state of repair
Slowing access to our region from the south, north and west (approaching from the east you would likely flood the carburetor.. and the rest of the car.. in the Pacific Ocean.)
“Wasn’t designed to carry the frequency and weights of modern-day trucks and other heavy transport”
Well, naturally!
81 years ago (1941, for those playing at home) we didn’t have multi-wheeled, thousand-horsepower, 60-tonne trucks hauling cargo across the country.
But in more recent decades we DID have a New Zealand Transport Agency whose job it was to monitor issues like the integrity of state highway bridges and fix them before they became an issue.
“The “temporary” limit will be put in place on Monday and apply until further notice”.” the release said.
Quotation marks around “temporary” give a sense of insincerity, and the fact it’s “until further notice”, with no indication of how long that could actually be don’t fill you with confidence for a quick resolution, or one at all.
Because other wording in the release was quite concerning:
“”While we understand this will be an inconvenience for road users, it is critical everyone complies with the temporary 30km/h speed limit to keep vibrations to a minimum to reduce the impact on the bridge structure and prevent further deterioration.””
30km/h is very slow, considering this is a 100km/hr zone, but it is standard practice and a safer speed for vehicles passing sites where road workers are active.
But saying it’s critical for the hundreds of light and heavy vehicles that travel across the Esk River bridge every day to slow down by over half the regular speed limit there to “reduce the impact on the bridge structure and prevent further deterioration“?
This makes it sound like this bridge, which has done a great, solid, bridgey job over the last 81 years, could now suddenly give way at any minute – Which is extremely concerning!
A Vital Link
It’s concerning because a kilometer or so up the road is one of Hawke’s Bay’s biggest industries, Pan Pac Forest Products, also one of the region’s largest employers, which relies on a fleet of around 100 trucks of different configurations (mainly logging trucks) each crossing the Esk River bridge several times a day carrying thousands of tonnes of products vital for the mill’s operations, as well as the mill site’s staff, who number in the hundreds, commuting to work each day.
But more importantly the bridge is the only sealed route north of Napier towards Wairoa, popular holiday spot Māhia (home of Rocket Lab’s Launch Complex 1) and Gisborne with a combined population in excess of 60,000.
For the most part if you want to get to Wairoa and Gisborne you have to get there via Napier, SH2 and this bridge.
The North Island’s East Coast region, north of Gisborne is accessible by road from south eastern Bay of Plenty, but it would be a hell of a detour to get to Wairoa that way.
A Long-Standing Problem
Issues with his section of road aren’t new.
For decades the intersection of State Highways 2 and 5 just south of the Esk River has been considered a dangerous spot.
An angled approach for those coming from Taupò limits clear visibility for crossing onto SH2 continuing south towards Napier.
A sandstone hill on the right limits views of north-bound traffic, while the heightened, curved Esk Railway Bridge, which leads onto the troubled river bridge cuts visibility to the northeast to less than 50 meters. Far from ideal when 50 tonne logging trucks stream over it towards the intersection.
There have been numerous crashes at the intersection but, apparently, not enough serious crashes to warrant drastic remediation by Waka Kotahi.
The rail bridge climbs quickly to get over the East Coast railway line and Esk River stopbanks and it is curved – nerve-wracking at the best of times, let alone when you are trying to share the narrow curved bridge with fully loaded 18 wheelers coming the other way.
The bridges are even less than ideal when you are not driving over them.
Cycling over these bridges is dangerous enough sharing the narrow concrete walled spaces with cars and trucks, but especially so just after dawn when crossing the river bridge north-bound faces drivers straight into the rising sun all but cutting off visibility at times.
Walking over the bridges doesn’t even bear thinking about.
This section of road has been like this for decades and successive transport agencies have known about it for decades, but chosen not to fix it.
Now it may be too late.
A Civil Engineering Emergency
Mid-morning on March 8 2018 all non-operstional staff at Pan Pac Forest Products’ Whirinaki site were told to leave as a storm had flooded the neighboring Esk River valley and the water level was getting dangerously high. It was decided that staff should leave before high tide, as the river getting any higher could threaten travel across the Esk River bridge.
Flash forward four years and who will now feel safe or secure crossing this potentially structurally compromised bridge the next time there is significant rainfall in the nearby hills?
Recent severe weather events have proven that Napier’s infrastructure is not up to handling even current standards. It’s not too surprising sadly though, given years of successive council administrations being hell-bent on keeping rates down at the expense of repairing and replacing their beloved city “assets”, turned major liabilities.
But when it comes to roads Hawke’s Bay pays its’ share.
Fuel tax, income tax, Goods and Services Tax.
Hawke’s Bay truck owners pay Road User Charges.
So why doesn’t Hawke’s Bay get a fair return on our regional roading infrastructure for the taxes and charges we pay for using it?
The numerous drop-outs on our under-invested high country regional highways is bad enough. Losing such a crucial bridge will literally be the straw that breaks State Highway 2.
It doesn’t have to be this way.
A few years ago there was word that the SH5/2 intersection was going to get a massive upgrade and redevelopment.
It never occurred.
With such a dire situation now upon this section of road why not revisit those plans and make then a reality now?
“Roads of National Significance” were a big deal under the last National government when the Waikato Expressway section of State Highway 1 was redeveloped.
Surely State Highway 2 must be the nation’s second most significant road by numerical order at the very least.
I believe the canceled concept involved an over/under pass for access to / from SH 5 and one big bridge spanning both the rail line and Esk River, rather than the current two inferior smaller bridges.
Lining this new, longer bridge up with matching bends that already exist north and south of the river would make the section of road straighter and give motorists better, safer vision along this area.
The slight change of angle would also lessen the chance of sunstrike for those traveling north across the bridge as the sun rises.
Pedestrian / cycling lanes on this new bridge would also be extremely advantageous.
Having a bigger, better, newer bridge will also go some way to future proofing this section of road to imminent climate change, sea level rise (Hawke Bay is only few hundred meters downstream of the current bridge) and the ever-present threat of flooding from upstream and the Hikurangi Subduction Zone off the east coast of the North Island
As it currently (barely, according to Waka Kotahi) stands the Esk River bridge won’t withstand too many more trucks going faster than the suburban speed limit over it.
That is simply not good enough.
Rebuild the Bridge and Get Over It
I am a passionate advocate for all things Hawke’s Bay.
I’ve seen my region ignored and undermined for years and I’ve been writing about it, trying to get these inequalities fixed for almost ten years now.
It’s just so sad that a government agency like Waka Kotahi lags so far behind in recognizing regions like Hawke’s Bay need far better roads and transport infrastructure than what they have.
If it really is critical that traffic traversing the Esk River bridge must now travel over it at 30km per hour to prevent further deterioration of the structure as Waka Kotahi said in their statement, then we can assume it’s too late and the bridge is doomed.
State Highway 2 is a nationally significant road.
To allow such a major, important structural part of it to degrade to this level is inexcusable.
This is a Civil Engineering Emergency.
Hawke’s Bay deserves better!
Footnote (Nov 2022):
Since writing this piece Waka Kotahi has limited the speed and weight limits on YET ANOTHER Hawke’s Bay State Highway bridge!
Mayoral aspirant Nigel Simpson a first term, Taradale ward councilor declared in his running for the mayoralty ‘I entered local politics last election because I couldn’t figure out what was wrong in Napier City Council, after a short period inside I figured it out alright, that’s why I’m running for Mayor.”
“Taking major items in and out of the long-term plan and having a considerable number of unbudgeted items is simply poor leadership and inappropriate governance of Napier, it’s time for change.” he said.
“A significant number of opportunities have been missed by the current Council, it’s time to get Napier back on track.”
If that’s the “Mayor Dalton and CEO Jack Track” he’s referring to getting back on then I think his train is going in the wrong direction, and voters with a memory longer than three years will likely leave him at the station.
And thoughout all those issues this council term you may have forgotten about the global pandemic that closed borders and workplaces, disrupted workflow and supply chains and killed and incapacitated millions.
The Jack / Dalton administration also saw a number of high-level managers and experts leave, or be made redundant, but Councilor Simpson chooses to ignore this in his “serious culture issue” claim.
His urging the council to leave selecting a new CEO until after the local body elections is also disingenuous, as he, the council and even the Hawke’s Bay Today know “July is the start of a three-month hiatus in which councils cannot make major decisions in the three months leading up to the local elections”as reported in another council article in HBT barely a month earlier at the end of June.
Sometimes it takes a shot of penicillin to cure a bad culture, other times a new broom to sweep out all the dead wood, or clear a new path.
Chris Hyde, who had formerly been Hawke’s Bay Today news director before moving over to Stuff in Hawke’s Bay for a few months will return to take over the local newspaper’s reigns.
Recently the paper has not only been “burying the lede”, but burying local opinions under not necessarily as relevant reckons from outside the region.
Prior to 1997 live weekday morning news television in New Zealand was pretty much non-existent. We were aware places like America and Australia had it, but it wasn’t on the NZ public, or media radar.
The only similar programme I can think of in terms of live production in the mornings with such a long legacy is What Now! which has been going on Sunday mornings (originally on Saturdays) for almost 40 years.
1997 was long before the 24 hour news cycle, the spread of the internet (we still had dial-up at our house until the late 2000s) and social media, so if there was live television on New Zealand televisions in the morning it was either an All Blacks game / the Olympics on the other side of the world, or something very bad had happened locally.
Today breakfast news often sets the televisual tone and topic for the day – Covering what has happened at home and overseas during the night, outlining important events that are expected to occur locally that day and interviewing those involved. The lunchtime bulletin at midday acts as a progress report and the traditional 6pm news – the pinnacle of New Zealand’s news landscape for generations almost acting more as a roundup and post-mortem of the day’s events.
Breakfast felt cool and new. It was off the cuff, like local breakfast radio, but larger, more dynamic and on screen. Live filming made it feel more genuine, original and informal than the polished, rehearsed news bulletins.
This was also before Hosking’s career and ego made the Fourth Circle of Dante’s Inferno look like broad daylight. He was more down to earth and even, dare I say it, “cool”(?) then, to the point where he was (good naturedly) parodied on What Now and the local comedy skit shows of the time.
I had dreamed of being part of TVNZ, or just TV IN NZ, ever since I was a kid growing up watching What Now, After School, Telethon, Town & Around, Children of the Dog Star and the plethora of fantastic, locally produced shows that were created in that golden era of NZ television production – the 1980s.
Watching Breakfast brought this dream into adulthood. I remember seeing a Christmas “Behind the scenes” segment at the end of the first or second season that made me want to get into television again (and develop a brief televisual crush on a bespeckled reporter named Pippa).
I’d been working in radio only a year or two before and this looked like the next logical, aspirational goal.
And now as a parent the chances of watching Breakfast much on my mornings off are few and far between, as my daughter usually wields the remote and The Moe Show, Bluey, or more recently YouTube and Disney+ rule our sole television screen, so I seldom get to see much of the show past 7am.
Missing out on a large chunk of Breakfast’s mid to late 2000s and 2010s wasn’t all bad – I did miss out the majority of the supernovaing of Hosking and Henry as hosts and their cults of “(TV) personality”.
But Breakfast did at least go where many other TV shows had never gone before – Regional New Zealand!
Breakfast has made it to Napier on a couple of occasions, broadcasting live from the Soundshell on Marine Parade, showing off our region and stunning live sunrises over Hawke Bay.
TVNZ Breakfast broadcasting live from Napier’s Sound Shell February 2020
These shows usually had one of their cast inevitably be dressed up in Art Deco attire, or some similar interactive performative element. It’s certainly something associated with the city due to the architectural style at the time of rebuilding after the 1931 earthquake, but for us locals it began to feel a bit forced, twee and repetitive, after a couple decades of being ever-present and ever-pushed by the city council’s promoters, Art Deco devotees and local tourism organizations.
Their roving reporters and weather people often get out and about, too.
During the nation-wide Covid 19 lockdown of 2020 the show helped provide a steady stream of news, information and, most importantly, personal connection at a time when we were all quarantined at home.
During that period Breakfast even had viewers Zoom, or Skype in to be “guest weather presenters” and do the forecasts for the show.
My Twitter friend, and fellow tall, hairy Andrew F, Andrew Feldon, who runs Mouthwater Coffee in Palmerston North was one of these Sky Soothsaying Skypers. It was like l’d almost fulfilled my dream vicariously!
The Dream Team
I had a recurring dream last year in which I got to meet John Campbell in person. I’ve interacted with him on social media several times, but never “IRL” (“In Real Life”, #Hashtag, YOLO GST, PhD etc…)
In the dream I meet John on set or behind the scenes at Breakfast and he promises to get me on television, either Breakfast, or my own show. It’s unclear how, or why as the dream ends about this point and the details disappear with conciousness.
Many in TVNZ’s news and current affairs talent pool have gotten their big television break, or at least worked on Breakfast at some stage in the past quarter century.
From fame to infamy and, in some cases later on in their lives or careers, being enabled to be purposefully inflammatory and even outright conspiracy misinformationy a number of people have presented and been involved in the show, but my favorite core presenters over the last 25 years has been the most recent lineup of Indira Stewart, Jenny-May Clarkson, Matty McLean, Melissa Stokes and John Campbell.
When he left the show to pursue more in-depth journalism with TVNZ, John gave a marvelous parting monologue pointing out the diversity of the show and his fellow presenters – Te Reo now being an integral part of the show’s vocabulary, the advancement of LGBTQI+ rights, recognizing the wrongs of racial discrimination and actions like the dawn raids of the 70s, and the importance of inclusiveness and multiculturalism to modern New Zealand society and media.
The more readily outraged out there would call this “woke”, or “PC gone mad!”.
It’s not.
It’s recognizing injustice. It’s being sympathetic, empathetic and supportive. It’s shining a light into dark places that need illumination for the wrongs there to be exposed and righted.
Other media networks gleefully trumpeted imminent doom for Breakfast on the eve of it’s anniversary, but that was simply never going to happen.
One fewer host does not a Breakfast show un-make.
It may be worth remembering that the stars of some of these networks had significant roles on Breakfast or with TVNZ in the past, which aided them getting where they are today. Crying “nepotism!” now may not be the stable moral high ground they think they are on.
This isn’t a true “plurality of voice”, and it certainly isn’t fair on all the voices we don’t get to hear.
2/ Keep Getting Out There!
The world is a much smaller place than it used to be.
Television shows that “had” to be produced in Auckland no longer do. Providing you have a good internet or satellite connection you can record and broadcast from anywhere – Even Hawke’s Bay!
Imagine getting your morning news fix with this as the live background!
The rapid advancement of technology also means it is far cheaper to run and maintain small-scale broadcast facilities in multiple locations. Imagine what a difference to our viewing and listening landscape reinstating teams of TVNZ and RNZ reporters across the country (not just in the main centers) would make to the diversity of news coverage!
These ideas are particularly relevant given the upcoming merger of Television New Zealand and Radio New Zealand has a strong emphasis on public broadcasting and Public Interest Journalism. There is more impetus than ever before for more NZ media to spread their wings like Breakfast has done and rove across the country telling locals’ stories.
If they need someone extra in Napier I know a guy… Even if he has a voice for television and a face for radio…
This year has been a bit of a test of stamina and fortitude and has certainly made a lot of people feel a lot older than they are.
Personally I’ve been feeling much older, tireder and sadder than usual, and that was before I tested positive for Covid a few weeks ago.
I was fortunate to be almost completely asymptomatic while testing positive, which is great health-wise (I would have gladly felt sicker if it meant those who have suffered through their symptoms could have some relief), but it was frustrating to be stuck in quarantine while feeling fine – Much like my Adventures in Tachycardia years ago.
It’s gave me some time to write, which was great after months of being too busy, or too demoralized to do it.
It also gave me some time to think, which wasn’t such a great thing.
Because I’ve been going through a bit of a mid-life crisis recently.
Feeling My Age
After all the carry-on of recent years, like everyone else, I was looking forward to a bit of a break this year – a silver lining after a couple years of cloud.
I have all their albums and the last concert I went to before the “proper adulthood” of becoming a parent was their show at Western Springs in 2011. So when then the band announced they would be touring Australasia later this year I was looking forward to going and seeing. them in Wellington.
They have had a fantastic run: 28 years, over 10 albums, millions of fans and a permanent place at the alter of Rock & Roll.
But the threat of losing a cultural cornerstone in my life suddenly made me feel really old.
It occurred to me that to my daughter the Foo Fighters are what The Eagles were to me – Memorable, good music, but old.
Like me.
Because this year I’ll be turning 45.
Where Did the Years Go?
Last year I applied for a promotion at the company I have been working at for almost two decades. I have been in what is essentially an entry-level position for the duration. I’ve requested training or transfer during this time, but have been constantly overlooked while my supervisors have move onward, upward, or outward with triennial regularity.
One manager even told me my position “wasn’t worth (external) training” during the “austerity years” of the Global Financial Crisis.
So when one of these supervisor positions came up I applied. It was shortlisted to myself and the office’s new university graduate, who had been with us for one year. The graduate started primary school the year I started with the company (literally – we worked it out).
Naturally the graduate got the promotion and I missed out.
I felt massively disappointed and let down, but I wasn’t surprised.
Almost 20 years is a very long time to dedicate yourself to a job with unsociable hours, doing almost exactly the same things every day, week, month and year.
It felt like I have wasted a huge chunk of my working life.
These years have also seen a lot of upheavals in and effecting my life:
Understandably it’s hard to gain or maintain momentum in such choppy seas.
While it’s been an ungrateful job not letting me develop something resembling a career, it has at least been a stable job and income, allowing us to somehow live comfortably as a single-income family making just over the average wage in a time when many multiple-income families seriously struggle to make ends meet.
It feels like I’ve already lived several lifetimes in less than two decades, while, due to the unrelenting repetition of my job it simultaneously feels like I blinked in 2013 and suddenly find myself here in 2022.
Worse still, a couple years ago my my daughter’s primary school had a Kapa Haka performance. Her school hall was too small, so they used the auditorium at my old secondary school – Tamatea High.
I sat in my old school auditorium where I did lighting, theater and orchestra, had assemblies, dances and prizegivings, in the same chairs, in the same row as three women who all went to that school with me (our daughters all happen to be friends) it occurred to me it was 25 years to the day since we last all sat there at our final assembly and prizegiving in 1995.
A quarter of a century!
Where had my life gone?!
Parental Guidance Required
Losing both parents before the age of 40 hasn’t helped.
Most of my friends still have at least one, often both parents still alive. I no longer have that moral, financial, or physical support there any more.
Being a parent, my morals and values have created a bit of a paradox for me.
As I’ve written multiple time before, all I wanted to be in life (other than a radio announcer – and those aspirations have been shafted on multiple occasions) was as good a father as mine was to me.
I have gone to work for the last nine years, not for myself, but to provide a safe, warm, loving home and to ensure there is always food on the table for my wife and daughter.
(That sounds terribly clichéd, but it’s an honorable, old-school trait I got from my Dad – That said, an enjoyable job where I’m allow to develop and get to be creative wouldn’t go amiss. I continue to write in the hope that lightning might strike multiple times…)
I can’t keep wearing myself down where “appreciation” never equals advancement, because that makes me feel un(der)valued and will make me depressed, grumpy and what I would consider to be a bad parent at home.
I also can’t just give the job up, because that erases our income, support and it will feel like I really have wasted the last 18 years of my life.
Looking online for celebrity comparison is seldom helpful.
If you have grown up with certain stars or starlets they too look not greatly different from years before, as you are aging in parallel. For others, as their careers can rely to a large degree on their looks, the amount of care and work that has been put into maintaining a level of youth or vitality through out the years can somewhat skew any accurate visual age auditability.
All these famous faces also turn 45 this year. Yes, even Shakira!. #Funfact: John Oliver and John Cena (top middle & right) were born the exact same day – April 23, 1977!
At the other end of the scale, trailer-wreck television shows like Jeremy Kyle often showed the ages of people who hadn’t looked after themselves so well, making those in their 20s look closer to 60.
While nowhere near as petro-chemical an intake as those on such shows, some parts of my diet haven’t changed in 30 years – I still eat like a teenager whenever I can.
Chocolate, chips and double-coated Tim-Tams are still treat staples in my diet.
I try to justify with my wife that a $1 chocolate bar is a fair courier fee when I’m sent to the supermarket to get groceries. She never seems to agree.
Illicit snacks are probably the only food I eat that hasn’t changed over the years, though.
In recent times, with rising food prices(/supermarket profits) and differing nutritional needs our family’s diet has become largely “flexitarian”, often vegetarian for us adults, with favored frankfurters or oven-baked chicken nuggets for our daughter.
The influx of such a diverse range of cultures into Hawke’s Bay over the past decade has also ensured a vastly different spectrum of food is now available with tastes and flavors so far removed from what we grew up with.
Cabbage boiled until tasteless and translucent has happily been consigned to the depths of history.
But with so many other things from our youth making comebacks, the allure of a “second childhood” midlife crisis can be hard to resist.
Many model catalogues and video game magazines gave their pages for this and other collages I made in my teenage years.
The recent revival of so many pop culture icons, movie franchises and toy ranges from my childhood hasn’t helped.
Star Wars sequels, streaming series and retro toy lines, Top Gun: Maverick, Ghostbusters: Afterlife, Masters of the Universe figurines and cartoon reboots.
I sold my original MotU collection after rediscovering it while clearing out my parents’ place several years ago.
Growing up in the 80s and the 90s was a fantastic time for tech toys, as RC cars were just coming into their element.
Japanese model making giant Tamiya were the pinnacle of those cars. Tamiya made the most amazing scale models – Tanks, cars, motorcycles, boats, planes.
Each year they released a stunning new, full color catalogue the thickness of a magazine. They were chock-full of pictures of their range of kits, fully built, painted and decaled. Sometimes there were sections dedicated to exquisite dioramas featuring their kits.
My collection of 1/35 scale Tamiya model tanks, (Except for the Sherman (second from the left) which is italeri)
What I distinctly remember about these catalogues was their smell.
They were so big and so packed full of glossy pictures that the smell of the print would just about knock you backwards the first time you opened the latest issue (and for weeks after).
It was INTOXICATING! (or a gateway drug to substance abuse given the similar levels of paint an glue fumes modelers are exposed to on a regular basis – It’s truly amazing I never got into drinking spirits until my 30s…)
But the crème de la crème of Tamiya production was radio controlled cars.
Hot Shot, Bigwig, Boomerang and Lunchbox were the names given to some of the most fantastic “Toys” anyone in the 80s or 90s could have.
These cars were so advanced and different that the first Tamiya RC kits I saw in Hawke’s Bay weren’t even even available from hobby shops, but from a service station in St Aubyn Street, Hastings! (This is more likely just because the station owner had imported the kits themselves, but it certainly added to the kits’ advanced, “mechanical” allure!)
We never had the money for Tamiya radio controlled car kits, which were worth $200-$300 back in the 80s – a substantial amount of money!
I still have two of my original Tamiya Mini 4WD: Super Sabre (L) and Hot Shot (R)
I was able to get a few Tamiya “Mini4WD” cars – small, vastly cheaper facsimiles of the bigger RC body styles, but twin AA battery powered, and only able to drive in straight lines.
I did get a relatively cheap Nikko radio controlled car called a Thunderbolt for a birthday or Christmas present once, and a I think Dad bought a similar one off a work colleague when the Thunderbolt lost its zap.
“Frame Buggy”. No relation.
But Tamiya cars were still the Holy Grail of autonomous off-roading. I can still picture in my mind going to an air show and seeing someone running their Lunchbox – a big, bright yellow “Monster Truck” van. It was iconic then and it still is now.
So when I saw one in my local hobby shop “Cool Toys” in Napier I fell in love all over again!
Amazingly the price tags for these cars have remained largely the same as 30+ years ago, mainly thanks to the advancement of technology making the formerly expensive parts much cheaper and more prevalent as time has gone by.
As I’ve gotten older I’ve started to build and tinker with more things too, something that my Dad exceled at, but I never had the confidence to, so these advanced kits that always looked so complex and intimidating when I was younger aren’t so scary any more.
If I get commissioned to write something again this year I know where that money is going to!
But, like i said, I’m a bit lost at sea at the moment.
Static
My fatherly goal is going well, but my dreams of media domination, or at least employed participation, seem further and further away as the years go by.
I had such high hopes as a “Co-Pilot” on Bay City Radio’s Sunday morning kids show one day back in 1985, or doing Saturday “Midnight to Dawns” at Hot93 in Hastings over the summer and autumn of 1996 …
But while I would still love to be on radio, I’m at least able to recognize that it is, or rather used to be, a young person’s game.
There are young people out there who want a career in NZ media and who are better and more deserving of a shot than I am, and certainly better than many currently being broadcast who have been there for far too long.
In the 90s regional commercial radio was the domain of those in their 20s. Three to five years on air was considered a “career” then you moved on to programming, management sales, or left the station and got a “real job”.
I wish this was a new problem, but it has been going on for as long as I’ve been a curmudgeon! 😉
Younger talent never got a look in or an opportunity on air and what could barely be considered average regional radio at best was nationally broadcast, claiming to be “the best” the networks could offer.
The industry has suffered for this ever since, but still to this day fails to recognize or try and rectify their own systemic errors.
I say radio “used to be” a young person’s game because I wonder if it still is?
So many have been turned off radio by the same tired old voices and shtick for years and years that they now get their audio entertainment from podcasts and music streaming services.
It has become a generational shift and seen radio listenership plummet. Not that the commercial networks have ever had the self-awareness to acknowledge why people no longer listen to a favored few broadcasters who are no longer relevant to anyone but themselves and their management mates.
I like writing and am told I’m quite good at it. I even get paid to write very occasionally but, as I’ve said, nowhere near enough to make a living out of it. So it’s more of a hobby, or a side hustle to relieve me of the repetitive monotony of my actual job.
I was inspired from an early age by great local newspaper journalists like Roger Moroney of what was Napier’s Daily Telegraph back then who had a real way with words and the public. He was Hawke’s Bay’s print version of a radio announcer – well respected and liked by many. When I started writing in my teens I sent my work to him for appraisal and feedback which he constructively gave.
I never went to university, or got a journalism diploma or degree, as it was a craft I was still perfecting and it seemed like such a waste to spend years and thousands of dollars I didn’t have studying how to write, research and interview like I already could.
Sadly they don’t really apply to middle aged men in regional New Zealand, so my chances of becoming New Zealand’s oldest Cadet Reporter are looking decidedly slim.
Were I to get the opportunity, where would I do it, though? Locally, naturally.
I live, love, breathe, and bleed Hawke’s Bay.
In high school I would have said “The Daily Telegraph” in a heartbeat.
But what was The Daily Telegraph became Hawke’s Bay Today in the 1990s, as APN, the forebear of NZME, combined Napier’s newspaper with Hastings’ Herald Tribune.
As you may already know, the story or regional newspapers around New Zealand and the world takes a bit of a dive from not long after that time as the internet, social media and the like took off and newspaper publishers struggled to keep up.
Costs were cut and newsrooms gutted, which meant less local news, which meant less local readership and advertising, which meant more cost cutting and loss of staff covering local news… and so it spiraled – You get the idea.
Sadly the media executives (often the same or similar ones who gutted local radio) haven’t.
A friend of mine told me in 2019 that I’d “picked the worst time to be this good at writing”.
More and more content in New Zealand’s regional newspapers is now imported from other sources, locations around the country like Auckland HQ, or other branches of the network with no relevance to the regions they are being published in, or even the realities of life for most of its readers.
I can’t morally justify working for a media network than shuns investment in local comment and content, but seems happy to pay its already over-incentivised radio announcers for large, irrelevant opinion pieces.
It must be a tough life working on both commercial television and state radio…
Were Hawke’s Bay Today to make a clean break from their current corporate overlords and return to their local roots, like the Wairarapa Times Age, then we could talk.
I’m not holding my breath, though.
Pro-Promotion
If you’re not from Hawke’s Bay chances are you’ve “met me” via social media.
Of all the tweets about Napier and Hawke’s Bay on Twitter I’ve probably been responsible for about 120 percent of them (*citation required).
I’ve always liked promotion / sales and have always had a pretty decent knack for it but that, like radio, never blossomed into a career (minimum wage retail in the 90s/00s doesn’t count).
While my social media exploits have led to meeting a lot of great people and some unique experiences, over 12 years on it still hasn’t been the doorway to opportunity and career change that I dreamed and worked towards it being.
Yet I still do it.
Professionally promoting Napier appears to be a closed shop, as I’ve applied for numerous roles and seldom even heard back that I’d been unsuccessfull. When I ask what I can do to improve.my chances next opportunity the silence is deafening.
But it’s been tiring and ultimately hasn’t gotten me anywhere.
“I could’a been a contender!”
What If?
How much of your life would you change if you could?
There have been a multiverse of movies, stories and shows about alternative realities in recent years.
The Marvel Cinematic Universe currently leads the pack on screens, but from way back at H.G. Wells’ The Time Machine, to The Time Traveller’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger.and the recent, brilliant The Midnight Library by Matt Haig time travel and being able to change your past or future has been a literary staple and a moral mental conundrum.
In Richard Curtis’ movie “About Time” Tim learns the men in his family can go back in time and relive certain events, or fix certain things. At one point in the movie he goes back in time to help his sister who has hit rough times. He does so, and when he returns to the present his sister is much better off, but he finds his daughter is now (and always has been on this timeline) his son. He decides to go back again and let events occur as they were for his sister, who eventually comes out all right, and his family is as it always was.
One theme that continues throughout many of the time travel / multiverse movies and books I have read or watched is love and sacrifice. Especially paternal love and sacrifice.
There is a scene later on with the dad, played by the superlative Bill Nighy, which I won’t spoil for you, other than to say it’s perfect and heart-breaking and really struck home with me, as I saw the movie not long after losing my own father.
If my timeline had been different i could have been Guy Williams.
Seriously!
And not just because we both wear glasses and are about the same height…(he is ten years younger than me, though)
Guy got his big break on a show called “Dai’s Protege“, where media darling Dai Henwood mentored a bunch of prospective comedians, whittling them down to a winner.
I was working on my comedy and stand-up here in Hawke’s Bay at the time and seriously thought of entering, but didn’t because it would mean leaving my job at the time, moving to Auckland (prohibitively expensive at the best of times) with no income or place to stay, and being the “protege” of someone whose schtick I couldn’t stand let alone want to carry on as their “apprentice” (one of the only times I haven’t supported apprenticeships).
Photographic proof of my eventual, one-off stand-up comedy career Photo courtesy of Raybon Kan
If you prescribe to the multiverse theory there are realities out there where I have had nothing but success, and others with nothing but failure.
I have experienced a reasonably health balance.
I could do without a lot of the pain I have endured in my life to date.
The disappointments, the heartbreaks, the scars, the lack of faith, the micromanagement by people with no idea of what I do or am capable of, and missed opportunities.
“Life is like a heart rate – It has its ups and downs. If it’s a flat line, you’re dead!”
In the Eric Bana starring movie adaptation of The Time Traveler’s Wife (#FunFact: Rachel McAdams plays the titular wife of time traveler in both this movie AND About Time) Bana and McAdams’ characters have difficulty conceiving a baby because of Henry’s (Bana’s) time-fluid genetics. On one of his blips forward in time Henry is greeted and embraced by a girl of about 10 years old – his daughter! But she is also sad, because her father died not long after she was born.
The confliction of achieving a long held goal, but at great, or even the ultimate cost.
To be fair I wasn’t Halfway Down, more like A Quarter Up…
Half Way There
So much of what I’ve been and done seems so far away in the past, and so much of what I’ve wanted to do for a long time has always been constantly just out of reach.
My greatest goal in life and my greatest happiness had been being a father and a lot of time, effort and pain has gone into me becoming a dad like mine.
But now my daughter is older and amazing and inspiring I feel like i need to do something for myself, but that comes with a load of guilt.
I am so proud of her, but not proud of myself, and time certainly doesn’t feel like it is on my side any more.
I’m lacking traction and direction and I desperately need it.
I’ll continue writing because, if nothing else, I enjoy it and it is an outlet. The motivation and time to continue it is getting harder to find, though.
Woah, I’m half way there, but I’m stuck in the middle.
I don’t know what I wil do, but I know that, 35 years ago or now, giving up is something I’m never gonna do.
Two months ago Biodiversity Hawke’s Bay promoted an initiative to get the region’s population out and about, interacting with, and enjoying, their region’s natural features called #BayinMay.
It was a great idea, and one that our family took part in on multiple occasions across the month, often several times on weekends!
It helped that the first of May was a sunny, warm Sunday, so we headed up to Marine Parade, just along the beach from the National Aquarium of New Zealand to start ticking off tasks.
For our first task we decided to get creative, making a driftwood sculpture.
We gathered armfuls of driftwood, kelp and shells, setting a dining table suitable for Tangaroa!
While we were within arms-reach of a more than plentiful supply of greywacke (for those who are unaware, Napier’s Marine Parade beach is notoriously un-sandy) we made stone sculptures, too – I managed to get mine to defy gravity long enough to get photographic proof – With a triangular base it was more Stone-Hinge than Stonehenge.
We were on a roll(ing stone?)!
Next we went around the other side of Mataruahou – Napier Hill to Hardinge Road, Ahuriri, known locally as “Rocky Shore” because it’s a shore that’s, well, rocky:
There we studied the tidal pools and all the aquatic creatures that exist within, spotting chitons, crabs and sea slugs.
Throughout the following weeks we went from the heights of Taradale’s Sugarloaf hill to watch the sun set:
To walking around Hawke’s Bay Trails like that around Pandora Pond (Ahuriri Lagoon):
Some tasks were closer to home, like admiring “tree corridors” in places like Marewa’s Tom Parker Avenue.
Even just playing in autumnal leaves:
On a couple of occasions we went for walks up Dolbel Reserve, also in Taradale – It’s Kauri Trail is full of newly planted and established native flora.
It was a fantastic way for our family to spend our weekends together, while also learning more about nature and getting to appreciate the little local details that are so often overlooked.
And just because it was called “Bay in May” doesn’t mean you have missed your chance to experience some environmentally friendly and diverse parts of Hawke’s Bay – these are things that can be done any time of the year!
So get out and enjoy our region’s bio diversity and natural surroundings!
I have joked that the traditional version contains enough birdlife (partridges, turtle doves, french hens, calling birds..) that it could almost warrant a “Twelve Days of KFC”.
That gave me an idea:
Hawke’s Bay is blessed with some of the finest food producers and hospitality venues in New Zealand. The regularity with which we win big national and international awards give a general idea of just how great they are.
In recent years the number and range of these businesses has exploded. Gone are the days of Fish & Chips being the sole variety of takeaways available in the region – A multicultural smorgasbord is now available in your city, your suburb, or just at the tips of your fingers care of apps and smart devices ordering online.
So I thought, “Hey, why not do a “12 Days of HB Takeaways” and try and see just how much of a range of pre-prepared food can be sourced in the region?!”.
Now, I am based in Napier, as my brand suggests, so the majority of these will likely be Napier-based, simply because these are the takeaways I am most familiar with / have already brought from.
This isn’t sponsored content.
None of the companies listed have paid or given me free food to do this – It’s just something that I thought would be a cool idea and I thought they would be the most appropriate fit for their day / theme.
I believe in local Hawke’s Bay businesses and love seeing them succeed!
While it was intended to be a “12 Days of Christmas” list (did you know the 12 Days traditionally starts on Christmas Day, and isn’t actually a countdown to Christmas?) our regular annual “12 Days” list had a few hiccups and ran late, and with public holidays and different opening hours post-Christmas many of the places on my list weren’t open on some of the 12 Days after, so while I’m keeping the Christmas listing format, It’s essentially a 12 Days of Hawke’s Bay HOLIDAY Takeaways.
I have mixed up the Traditional and Kiwi 12 days of Christmas themes to give some variety, make it a bit easier, and diverse. There’s a good chance I may expand the list as other options arise, so come back and check it again at some later time.
So let’s take it away, with 12 Days of Hawke’s Bay Takeaways:
A Partridge in a Pear Tree / A Pukeko in a Ponga Tree = Hapi
In our usual “12 Days” menus day one almost always involves some for of vegetation or foliage – just like the Pear, or Ponga Tree.
Hapī Clean Kai Co-op is Napier’s award winning, premiere venue when it comes to healthy and vegetarian food.
Recently relocated from their original takeaway bar site down the road to Chantal’s shop on Hastings Street in Napier Hapī has gone from strength to strength and continues to gain in popularity with locals and visitors alike.
With healthy juices, vegetarian and vegan sandwiches and dishes, as well as sweet slices and, of course, coffee Hapī has become a go-to with those who want local “green” cuisine.
Two Turtle Doves / Two Kumera = Mamacita
A visit to Mamacita, located on Havelock Road in Havelock North and Tennyson Street, Napier on the second day of the week will be auspicious, as it’s Taco Tuesday (*Available for Dine-In Only)!
Nachos, Quesadillas (“Quesadilla Thursday” is also available only for Dine-in), vegetarian and carnivore options with Ceviche, Camarones and Calamares seafood dishes available on their “Small Bites” menu.
Three French Hens / Three Flax Kete = Rock My Belly
“Chicken and Waffles” was something I had heard of repeatedly (mainly in American movies), but never tried. That was until we went to Rock My Belly, upstairs on the northern side of upper Emerson Street, Napier.
We are able to tick both theme boxes here with the French Hens AND the latticed Kete basket look of the waffles!
Southern Fried Chicken Waffles are a hit with Miss in Frame and I love the Chicken Curry Waffles.
The waffles themselves aren’t as sweet as regular dessert waffles, the thought of which was initially a bit of a put-off, making a nice flavor and texture mix overall.
Rock My Belly’s focus on great “comfort food” like this has proved very popular in the short time they have been open.
The chef’s name is Andrew, too, so you know it must be good! 😉
Four Calling Birds / Four Huhu grubs = Tu Meke Don
Again with the poultry!
Tu Meke Don, in Napier’s Ocean Boulevard (between upper Emerson and Dickens Streets) is run by Tim, Junko and their son Tane. It has been our go-to for Sushi for a number of years and a favorite for inner city workers and shoppers.
Their Karage Chicken in sushi, donburi, curries and just straight out fried is a personal favorite.
Five Gold Rings / Five Big Fat Pigs = Donut Robot
If five gold rings is what you’re after you can’t go past the delicious, crispy on the outside, soft in the middle, chocolate or berry-iced, custard filled, or just cinamon sugar dusted American-style donuts made fresh by Steve in his little “Toy Caravan”!
Donut Robot has been regularly stationed in the car park of St Paul’s Church on the corner of Tennyson and Dalton Streets, Napier for a number of years and has garnered quite a cult status and large fan base. Not only a master donut slinger, Steve is also good for a chat about the day’s local and inter/national events.
The pic above is actually of some Gua Bao I tried on a visit to Auckland a few years ago, but I intend to go to Funbuns VERY soon!
Six Geese a-Laying / Six Poi a-Twirling = Funbuns Pork Buns
A few years ago in our family 12 Days of Christmas Deliciousness we featured Tu Meke Don’s Rice Balls as Poi a-Twirling, on a similar Asian food theme here I’m nominating Gua Bao (Steamed Buns) from Funbuns to represent the Poi on this list.
Funbuns, on the corner of Heretaunga Street East and Warren Street Hastings, is a place I have yet to get to, but really want to, as I have heard lots of great stuff about!
“Can recommend pretty much everything on the menu (cocktails are frisky-fresh too). Barman is a multi award winner at HB Hospo awards. Their 12hr beef shin sharing plate & Chinese fried chicken with black tea mayo are yum!”Yvonne Lorkin c/o Twitter
Seven Swans / Eels a-Swimming = Thai Lotus
Thai Lotus can be found right in the centre of the Taradale Shopping Centre. The building used to house the Taradale Library many years ago. Now it is home to delicious Thai cuisine!
With a wide range of stir fries, curries, satay, soups and more you’re sure to find the perfect dish – it might even be eel-like noodles swimming in a delicious curry or cashew sauce!
Eight maids a-Milking / Eight Plants of Puha = Lick This
One of the best ways to cool down on a hot Hawke’s Bay day is with something Maids a-Milking can directly contribute to: Ice cream!
Lick This, in the old Marineland grandstand building makes their own ice cream on site in a massive, regularly changing range of flavors. From standards like Chocolate and Hokey Pokey, to seasonal and special flavors like Christmas Cake, Unicorn and Bacon, Banana and Maple.
They also sell gelato and, local legends, Rush Munro ice cream.
Nine Ladies Dancing / Nine Sacks of Pipis = Six Sisters
There aren’t quite nine of them, but they are all girls – Six Sisters Coffee House is in one Napier’s most iconic non-Art Deco buildings on Marine Parade, just towards the hill from Lick This.
The story goes Napier’s Harbor Master had six daughters, whom he had houses built next to each other for between Albion and Vautier Steets. These half dozen, two storey weather board buildings have become known as “The Six Sisters” and Napier’s best Bacon, Egg and Pesto Bagels (in my humble opinion) can be found at the sister second from the left when looking at the houses from the sea side.
Lucy and her team of lovely ladies (there’s about six of them all up, but they’re not sisters) serve bagels, Napier’s best coffee (again IMHO), scones, slices, biscuits, and smoothies looking out across Marine Parade to the stunning vista of Hawke Bay!
Ten Lords a-Leaping / Ten Juicy Fish Heads = Fish & Chips
It wouldn’t be a list of Kiwi takeaways without featuring Fish and Chips! (I prefer fish fillets to fish heads, personally, but won’t judge).
Napier is certainly not bereft of choice on this front, as I can think of at least three options within walking distance of my house alone!
Thank God its Fryday is my local in Marewa, but others like The Pirimai Chippy, Frying Dutchman and Charles Street Takeaway all have loyal followings.
It’s not Highland bagpipes and single malt whisky, but Brave’ Brewing’s iconic trumpet does involve pipe work!
Fast becoming one of Hawke’s Bay’s preferred craft breweries, Brave Brewing opened their new tap room and beer bar in the former Herald Tribune newspaper precinct site on Queen Street East, Hastings in 2020, after the nationwide Covid lockdown to promote and compliment their onsite brewing operation.
During 2020 and 2021’s Level 4 lockdowns Brave also took the initiative of delivering their beer direct to their customers around Hawke’s Bay and New Zealand (as you can see in the pic above). Cheers for that!
One of Napier’s newer, and certainly most popular takeaway joints is Vinci’s Pizza at the cathedral / hill end of Hastings Street along from Hapi and Chantal.
What has made it so popular is that you can buy a single hot slice of their fantastic pizzas he perfect size for a snack or lunch, or buy a whole pizza which is about the size of a large snare drum! You can even mix it up and get a whole pizza’s worth of individual slices
Each pizza is hand-made by Vincent and his team 9nsite and, as with the personal touch of the other hospitality providers on this list, the range regularly changes with seasonal specialty pizzas along with the traditional stylea of Margherita and Quatro Fromagio.
Just before Santa went on his rounds last week I bought a slice of Christmas Glazed Ham pizza -It was fantastic!
So there you go – just a slice of the potential ideas to take away from 12 Days of Hawke’s Bay Takeaways – enjoy!
Perhaps it could be a New Year resolution to try thelist in the early days of 2022?!
If there are any local takeaways I have egregiously forgotten that fit into the 12 Days categories, please let me know and I can add them in.
This year it was the turn of the traditional “Partridge” version.
Wherever possible she tries to tie in part of the carol lyrics to the dish – i.e. “Partridge in a Pear Tree” will usually contain pears or some kind of bird reference to some degree.
Due to the rather prolific recurrence of birds in the traditional carol (Partridges, Turtle Doves, French Hens, Swans, Geese..), there may also be some sort of alliteration or similar tie-in, otherwise we might as well have the “Twelve Days of KFC”….
When all else fails, a fair chunk of artistic license is brought in. It really takes a fair bit of dedication and imagination to pull off!
I’ll do my best to explain the theory behind each dish as we go.
So sit back and have some fun as I reveal what my true love made for me over the Twelve Days of Christmas Deliciousness for 2021:
Day 1 – A Partridge in a Pear Tree: Part-ridged Pear Tart
Pretty straight forward – as stated above we usually kick off with something involving pears, this pear tart is “part-ridged” – see what we did there?
Day 2 – Two Turtle Doves: Hard shell Tacos / Nachos
Tacos come in hard and soft-shells – just like turtles!
Day 3 – Three French Hens: Ratatouille
Ratatouille is a well known French dish. My wife has been vegetarian/pescatarian for a number of years now, so the hen aspect was off the menu, until…
Day 4 – Four Calling Birds: Karage Chicken Sushi from Tu Meke Don
Tim, Junko and Tane have been our go-to for Sushi for a number of years. and their karage chicken in sushi, donburi and just straight out fried is a favorite. (While I and Miss in Frame had the chicken, Mrs in Frame had Salmon.)
Day 5 – Five Gold Rings: 5 Golden Pasties
Pretty straight forward again – Golden rings of pastry filled with: Roast Carrot & Carrot Pesto, Mushroom & Broccoli, Asparagus & Onion, Roast Capsicum Dip & Feta, and Chocolate Ganache Tarts!
Day 6 – Six Geese a-Laying: Home-made Vanilla Ice Cream
I had to ask how she figured this one, too, but it’s because the vanilla pods’ contents give the ice cream a speckled appearance like the geese at our local park (she obviously spends more time there than I do).
Day 7 – Seven Swans Swimming: Squid Ink Pasta with Garlic and Lemon
Alliteration (using a number of words starting with the same letters / sounds / syllables) is a common trick we use when doing out 12 Days of Christmas. #FunFact: When the alliteration uses “S” sounds it’s called “sibilance” like in “Seven Swans Swimming”. The only swans I am aware of locally are the Black Swans down at the park and they are outright psychotic, so we’re not going anywhere near them. This Squid Ink Pasta is black, like the swans, starts with an “S”, and is far less homicidal.
Day 8 – Eight Maids a-Milking: Mac & Cheese
The predominant percentage of ingredients in Macaroni and Cheese are produced from what the titular maids have been extracting – Milk! (bonus points for it being such a glorious staple comfort food).
Day 9 – Nine Ladies Dancing: Chickpea Carrot Sauté with Homemade Focaccia Bread
While I initially thought the reasoning here was that the Chickpeas dance around the pan as they are sautéed, like the Ladies (“Chicks”), it was actually because most of the ingredients (sans Chickpeas) came from our garden and Mrs in Frame tells me her garden makes her happy enough to dance.
This was also the first time Mrs in Frame made Focaccia Bread by hand – and absolutely nailed it!
Day 10 – Ten Lords a-Leaping: Big English Breakfast for Dinner
To keep in theme with Scottish pipers piping I suggested a bottle of good single malt whisky. But apparently that’s “irresponsible parenting”, so shortbread – another Scottish staple it was.
In related Scottish news – Miss in Frame took up Highland dancing this year and in her first competitive dance WON FIRST PLACE! All the more reason for a celebratory bottle, but I digress… #ProudDadMoment
Day 12 – Twelve Drummers Drumming: Pumpkin Cake
Ending on another sweet note we aligned pumpkins with their drum-like appearance to create Pumpkin Cake with cream cheese icing. Pumpkins and their gourd relatives have been used as many things aside from food for centuries, including basic drums for Twelve Drummers!
So there you go – another Twelve Days of Christmas Deliciousness completed for another year. Sorry for the delay I usually try and get these out on Christmas Eve, but 2021 has been, well, 2021.
All the very best to you and your family for 2022 – May it be more fun and fortuitous than this year, and I’ll catch you in my next post – here’s a hint – the “12 Days of Takeaways” gave me an idea!
