1931 – The Exhibit?

Posted on by
Reply

Many years ago (sometime around 2001) I was working at Dymocks Booksellers in Napier during Art Deco Weekend when I met a very interesting customer. He worked for Weta Workshops in the design side of things and was visiting Napier for the event.

We got talking about the 1931 Napier Earthquake, as the excellent book “Quake” by Matthew Wright had just been released. In particular we discussed the physics behind the earthquake.

AWESOME Fact: The force produced when the fault let go causing the 1931 Hawke’s Bay earthquake was equivalent to setting off 40,000 Hiroshima “Little Boy” sized nuclear bombs 20km below Waipatiki Beach, just north of Napier, with the exception that Waipatiki Beach now doesn’t glow in the dark!

Purely pipe-dreaming, with his design background and my local history and earthquake knowledge we discussed the concept of some sort of audio-visual / CGI / 4D interactive presentation / movie / show where people could get a reasonable accurate representation of, or experience of what it would have been like to be in Napier on that day in 1931 (without the risk of being hit by falling masonry etc.).

I recalled this meeting and our concepts recently with the permanent closure of Marineland, temporary closure of Napier’s museum (and excellent earthquake exhibit) for redevelopment and Napier City Council’s far-too-overdue “Big Picture” plan to turn Marine Parade into a “Kids’ Capital”.

With the wondrous advances in technology that Weta have harnessed, I wonder if there is some way of creating a worthy memorial, or “earthquake attraction” combining local knowledge and Weta’s digital and workshop wizardry, for future Napier residents and visitors to commemorate the event that shaped modern Napier.

My vision for the project has a number of concepts and ideas running through it:

1/ Scale Models
To the best of my knowledge there has never been a scale model of Napier pre or immediately post-earthquake / rebuild. There is a marvellous set of three photos (pre-quake, immediately post-quake, and the city rebuilt) taken from the same place on Napier Hill that has always mesmerised me and there are lots of photos of varying vintage depicting different parts of Napier pre-earthquake, but I would love to be able to look at a hard copy of how the city looked before February 1 1931 – the buildings, architecture, trams, streets and environment.

2/ Then and Now
On a similar thought-path, it would be great to be able to take a virtual walk / tour through Napier’s pre February 3 1931 streets. As a movie or a/v display the buildings could morph from present to past and back again.

3/ Visual Earthquake
While we’re at this stage and with so many pictures of the damage from so many angles, would it be possible to recreate, visually at least, the event? Like I’ve said previously – to be there without threat to personal safety.

4/ Virtual Earthquake
Many years ago there was an “earthquake simulator” (merely pneumatic rams thrusting the theatre seats forwards and backwards) and an audio visual display on the 1931 earthquake at a museum called “The Stables” in Napier, but that is long since gone. With eyewitness accounts, seismic recordings and research, combined with modern special effects and engineering*, could we recreate the event physically? Not just side to side, but up and down etc. One of the things that stand out from survivors’ stories was the sudden upward jolt during the quake that eventuated in so much of Napier’s surrounding swampland at the time rising to inhabitable and usable levels.
(*On an episode of Mythbusters I saw recently, they created just such a “shake table” to simulate a major earthquake.)

5/ Visual thrill-ride
A “visual thrill-ride” like those at Te Papa was another idea. Starting off either as the view a satellite would have had (give or take 30 years) zooming in on Napier’s main street on the morning of 3 February 1931 with life going on as normal, then rocketing through the sky to Waipatiki Beach and down through the earth to the fault to see it move and give (kind of like a geological CSI) before up and on a return flight path, just ahead of the seismic shockwave, into town again to see the city and the effects of the quake as in point 3.

6/ 1931 – The Movie
There has never been a Napier earthquake movie! I wonder if the people at Weta happen to know anyone influential in that field….

Without Marineland and all its old attractions, Napier has become a bit sad and quiet and I fear the Art Deco theme and associated festival (which has been going for over 21 years now) must start to wear out sometime soon.

Not only would my plan be an attraction to tourists, but also a touchstone and reference point to locals as well as an interactive memorial to the most significant event of Napier’s past.

Like I said, for the moment, these are purely my ideas mixed with a bit of pipe dreaming. I don’t know how feasible they are or, ultimately, what developing them into reality would likely cost. But as an attraction or historical viewpoint, I think they’re pretty cool.

What do you think?

TV One is currently screening the series “Descent From Disaster” on Tuesday nights from 9:30pm. One episode is to be about the 1931 earthquake. It’s just a pity Gary McCormack is hosting it 🙁

Abraham Lincoln for NCC!

Posted on by
Reply

87 years after America’s Declaration of Independence, in a Pennsylvanian field, a tall man in a tall hat stood before a gathering and began a speech which, at the time went barely noticed. It began:

“Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.”

We’ve all heard of the Gettysburg Address, or at least its first few sentences. But how many of you have heard or read those first few words and promptly tuned out? I have, until now.

“Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battlefield of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

But, in a larger sense, we cannot dedicate, we cannot consecrate, we cannot hallow this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us—that from these honoured dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion—that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain—that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom—and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.”

Pretty amazing, huh? The first time I read those next two paragraphs, I damn near cried. It has to be one of the best, most humble, yet powerful political speeches of all time. When was the last time you heard any politician, never mind the President of the United States, talk themselves down and talk the common man up that much and MEAN IT? Remember, this was in the middle of the American Civil War, the nation was torn in two and over half a million people died.

Reading those words it’s hard to believe that the civil war-winning, slave-freeing, vampire-hunting Lincoln was a Republican, especially when you see the sort of mind-set and policies his “Grand Old Party” have become infamous for today.

With our own local body elections coming up later this year, we have to prepare ourselves for a barrage of far less impressive political addresses. Expect the usual rhetoric, verbal promises that aren’t worth the paper they are written on and loads of “I, I, I, me, Me, ME” “Look at how much (little) we (Mayor Arnott & CEO Taylor/ Mayor Yule) have achieved” self-back-slapping. With the amalgamation debate on-going, we can also expect more of the usual Napier vs. Hastings petty parochialism that has plagued Hawke’s Bay for decades.

I sincerely hope we finally see some major changes in power in Hawke’s Bay in October. The region has been bogged down by the same people in the same positions for far too long. Hawke’s Bay needs someone more like Lincoln and a lot less like the currently entrenched bunch of beurocrats.

Hawke’s Bay deserves far better.

Eleven Score and Seventeen Years Ago

Posted on by
Reply

I’ve been reading Bill Bryson’s excellent (let’s face it EVERYTHING Bryson writes s excellent – the guy should receive whatever the literary version of being canonised is) “Made in America” – looking at what made the “US of A” what it is today, linguistically, mentally, physically and metaphorically. As with most Bryson books, you learn loads of interesting new stuff. In this book I’ve just learned about America’s founding documents, the Declaration of Independence and the forming of the Constitution and the processes that were gone through to get there. It was quite something, considering how long ago they were written, the power of the wording and the morals behind them and that most of the people involved in their creation weren’t bureaucrats or career politicians, but regular, rather brilliant, everyday people.

With tomorrow being the 4th of July, I thought it would be apt to share a few of these words from eleven score and seventeen years ago with you:

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

Quite a beautiful and inspiring sentiment, isn’t it? But considering at the time it was written slavery was normal practice and women couldn’t vote (and wouldn’t be able to for more than 150 years in some states), it does take quite a chunk out of the “All men are created equal” philosophy and the associated rights.
Even today not everyone in America has the same rights (other than the Miranda variety) and equalities. Consider the fight for gay rights, or a bunch of Texan men thinking they can tell the states’ women what’s best for their bodies. Internationally, it gets far, far worse. In many parts of the world people have even less rights, still.

Despite the stupidity of those who fail to recognise, or intentionally work against such themes and content as in the Declaration’s preamble, at its heart it promotes a far better way for life and thought. We would all be far better off for living by such words.

After all, it was only by working together equally that the United States achieved its Independence.

Hold The Presses!

Posted on by
Reply

Hawke’s Bay Media: Must Try Harder! Part 3

Are my expectations too high, or is the quality of most Hawke’s Bay media just not up to the level our region deserves?

We have a big, vibrant, smart region. But if its media industry is anything to go by, you would be forgiven for not noticing it.

Newspaper

Earlier this year Hawke’s Bay Today took home a few gongs at the annual APN Regional Publishing awards.
Now, this is a commendable achievement, but I can’t help but feel they could still do better.

Our local paper and its pre-merger forebears, Napier’s Daily Telegraph and Hastings’ Herald Tribune used to have large subscription bases and would regularly win prestigious Qantas Media Awards for their reporting and photography. Recently it hasn’t been so fortunate.

A lot has changed in the newspaper industry over the last few years. Interactivity and instant news gratification is what readers now want. The internet and social media have taken large chunks out of the market of those who don’t diversify and as a result subscription numbers have fallen for many “analogue” publications.

Hawke’s Bay Today has been one of them. The paper won an award a couple years ago for best paper with a circulation under 30,000. That wouldn’t be such a bad award, or figure if Hawke’s Bay’s population wasn’t over 150,000. The paper itself got thinner and thinner. From the standard two section broadsheet to often only one very skinny section. Hawke’s Bay Today and APN’s solution? Halve the size of the paper from broadsheet to tabloid!

At the time I was a bit sceptical – the proof of a paper will always be in the reading, not the packaging. For a short time the content seemed to get better – printing tweets and comments submitted online was a nice bit of interactivity, but overall the contents still disappointed me. There still seems to be a consistent lack of investigative journalism and too many re-written press releases. The Art Deco Bus debacle is a good example. Too often there appear to be lots of statements from local councils and officials, but few hard, probing or basic questions asked by the paper. What are they afraid of? These big organisations need the media just as much as the media needs them!

Hawke’s Bay Today, like most papers, has its own online edition, but it too seems to have been suffering. I commented on an article online a few weeks ago and took two days for the comment to be posted, long after the article had gone from the web pages “cover” and lost relevance. On other occasions, I have had a reply email that my comment has (finally) been posted from one of APN’s other satellite publications. Where’s the local online love (and no, not that way)?
The site is also slow in breaking and updating news, when compared to bigger papers, so it’s no surprise they are often getting scooped by Stuff and The Dominion Post. No matter the size of the operation, I would think with the nature of modern-day media that every paper would have a dedicated, full time online team. Hawke’s Bay Today’s page doesn’t seem to have that facility.

I mentioned to HBT editor Andrew Austin when I last saw him that I felt there was something missing from the paper’s website. He said they preferred to look after the paper itself, rather than ‘giving away’ news online. This concept has its merits, but I also feel it’s majorly flawed. Reading the huge amount of news, opinion, blogs and information that Fairfax ‘give away’ every day on Stuff actually makes me want to buy The Dominion Post! Just as APN’s mother-ship site makes the NZ Herald even more appealing.

However, I do find APN’s regional publications come off worse for wear in terms of design and interactivity when compared to Fairfax’s – the Hawke’s Bay Sun looks and feels like a mini Stuff, while Hawke’s Bay Today and its fellow regional publications almost feel like the Herald’s web designers were scared that they might usurp their own website, so have nobbled them a bit.

Grade: C
When compared to Hawke’s Bay’s other media formats of radio and television, our newspaper is by far the leader in communicating with and interacting the Hawke’s Bay community, but I have high expectations, and still feel there is massive room for improvement and that all Hawke’s Bay media must try harder!

Radio Gaga

Posted on by
Reply

Hawke’s Bay Media: Must Try Harder! Part 2

Are my expectations too high, or is the quality of most Hawke’s Bay media just not up to the level our region deserves?

We have a big, vibrant, smart region. But if its media industry is anything to go by, you would be forgiven for not noticing it.

Radio

Local radio has little in the way of local content these days. In an industry controlled by two big networks, far too much content is simulcast from Auckland. At least Mediaworks’ More FM and The Radio Network’s Classic Hits have locally-based breakfast shows, but from there it goes downhill fast.

More FM sticks with local content till around lunchtime, while central Auckland studios take over for Classic Hits before you’ve even had morning tea. It could be worse. In many centres around New Zealand, including Wellington and Hamilton, the Auckland-based broadcast is all they get 24/7. I pity anyone who has to listen to Marc Ellis and his cohorts over breakfast.

Straight out of high school in 1995, I worked for “Hot 93 FM”, at the time one of the few Hawke’s Bay radio stations that were still “Live and Local 24 Hours a Day” (I was the short end of the 24 hours a day stick, doing the weekend midnight till dawn shift). The only simulcasting was the news and everything else was done with a stack of CDs, a run sheet and the skill and talent of the announcer. It was a simpler time, but a better time for the core fundamentals of radio. So much relied on the station’s interaction with the community.

It really was Hawke’s Bay’s station – you knew the announcers and would see them around town. There was always someone at the station, so in the event of an emergency, earthquake etc., you could turn on the radio and instantly find out what was going on.

Not anymore.

Soon after I left Hot 93, simulcasting started to take a real hold on the station, as it went through technological and multiple ownership changes and eventually became the More FM station you listen to today on the same 92.7 FM frequency.

Today there is far less local interaction. It’s hard when 90 percent of your announcers are 500km away physically and even further away mentally.

I might not mind simulcasting so much if it wasn’t for almost all of this small selection of Auckland-based broadcasters being so bloody banal, bland and boring. I find myself forever swapping stations and eventually listening to my MP3 player to escape the depressive drivel these “personalities” (allegedly) get so handsomely paid to spurt.

This is the battle New Zealand radio currently faces and is largely losing as listeners prefer to download and live stream their personal selections of music, without the ads and annoying announcers.

Every year hundreds of young people with dreams of becoming the next Jay Jay, Mike, or Dom go to broadcasting schools around the country. With such a small employment base, with simulcast stations employing a minimum number of announcers for a maximum amount of profit, very few can achieve their dream. That’s a hell of a waste of talent, not to mention a waste of thousands of dollars in student loans all for naught, while the same old crew dawdle along on our airwaves.

I suggest reverting to the “live and local 24 hours a day” format where the regions rule themselves. Local news, local advertising, and lots of local interaction (separate stations looking after their own operations and finances might also lessen the likelihood of massive networks incurring massive debts). Let graduates and listeners live their radio dreams, keeping the talent we develop locally and rejuvenating an industry that has become distant and disjointed.

Grade: D – Must Try Harder!

Look Mum, I’m not on TV!

Posted on by
Reply

Hawke’s Bay Media: Must try Harder! Part 1:

Are my expectations too high, or is the quality of most Hawke’s Bay media just not up to the level our region deserves? We have a big, vibrant, smart region. But if its media industry is anything to go by, you would be forgiven for not noticing it.

Television:

Recently I’ve seen a number of signs promoting TV Hawke’s Bay as “Hawke’s Bay’s OWN TV Station” but is it?

If you look at their programming guide you are only likely to find around 4.5 hours of actual Hawke’s Bay input. Half an hour is “Chatroom”, a local talk show that runs three times a week and is then repeated the following day, and “Welcome to Hawke’s Bay” an infomercial-esque, up to four hour long, montage of local images and video set to music, with an occasional local guide segment featuring a local winery or tourist attraction.
For a time they did feature quite a good little series of adverts featuring local businesses, but I haven’t seen them for a long time. On the bright side, they did at least get rid of that horrid advertorial in which Willy de Witt overreacts terribly to how wonderful a vineyard’s wine is.

The greatest proportion of TVHB airtime is occupied by mainly German or European programming – not exactly what I’d call my region’s OWN station material. Some may argue that producing local television programmes can cost a lot of money, but TVHB can’t be importing all these shows for free. Surely more local content wouldn’t hurt too much financially.

I’ve always thought that local media outlets, be they print, radio, or television, have the perfect opportunity to get the public’s voice out to the masses. Who wants to see more of and about Hawke’s Bay, than the residents of the region? Where are all the programmes on TV Hawke’s Bay made for and by local schools, the region’s youth, how about airing local sports matches? I’d far sooner watch the Napier City Rovers play, than any Bundesliga match.

Television Hawke’s Bay current programming shows a lack of commitment to the region and a lack of creative thinking in getting local programming on the region’s screens.

Must Try Harder!

Grade: F

Wanted: One New Napier Mayor

Posted on by
Reply

Take a look at the contenders for Napier mayor and despair, Napier!

Four current Napier City Councillors make up the majority of those looking to replace long-term Mayor Barbara Arnott in this October’s local body elections. This might not seem too bad to some, as NCC loves to remind us how low our (continual) annual rates increases are and just how little debt the city apparently has (this depends on which figures you look at and how deeply according to some dissenters). But if you look at how far the city has come in the last decade or more (the time since there was any great upheaval in Napier’s governance), you will see we have not gone very far at all. Some may say we’ve actually gone backwards.

So when the same old guard that lauds their revitalization of Marine Parade, after more than 15 years of doing nothing about it (other than mowing the 2km of grass between the now closed (by this same council) Marineland and the Aquarium (can you remember the can-am cars and bumper-boats?)), or “listening to the public” and finally building a sheltered inter-city bus terminal after years of complaint and protest put their hand up to replace their glorious leader after years of compliant silence (this could be explained by the code of conduct each council must sign), you can excuse my cynicism as I cast an opinionated eye upon the contenders:

John “Bertie” Cocking (3 term “at large” councillor): Long-time proponent and icon of Napier’s Art Deco obsession was the first to put his hand up and stand for mayor almost the instant Arnott announced her retirement.
Art Deco has been the obsessive focus for the current council for years. I don’t actually mind the architecture and buildings, but so much focus and money has been poured into it there has been little chance for anything else (especially tourism-wise) being able to get a word in edge-ways that it’s little wonder Napier’s tourism industry has been suffering as we become a one-trick tourism pony.
Cocking’s alter-ego also lent his name and face to the problem-plagued “Bertie’s Buses” which look set to keep costing Napier ratepayers (who, as far as I can tell, never actually got a say on the purchase) long after the council that bought them is voted out.
John is considered to be one of the better financial minds on the NCC, his financial skills are lauded by many. It was this financial nous that got him a place on board of Venture Hawke’s Bay. How is that organisation going these days?
John / Bertie was the second highest poling councillor at the last election, behind the retiring deputy mayor Kathie Furlong, so he must be popular somewhere. But I just can’t trust my council in the hands of anyone who uses a picture like this on one of their election hoardings like in the last election.

Bill Dalton (2 term “at large” councillor) Might well be Hawke’s Bay’s most negative blogger I ‘take one for the team’ occasionally and have a read to see what he’s been complaining about recently. For me, at least, it isn’t inspiring, or elation-inducing reading. As someone who promotes his ideas for cooperation between Napier and Hastings over A Better Hawke’s Bay’s empirical amalgamation plans, he seems overly critical of Hastings people. That can’t be helpful.

Rob Lutter (3 term ward councillor): In the last election nobody voted for Rob, yet he was still elected! Admittedly no one stood against him, but as a Taradale Ward councillor I think he may not be too popular with his ward constituents any more after the upgrade of Taradale’s shopping centre saw the addition of parking meters. Combine that with leases in the shopping centre skyrocketing (not the councils fault, but certainly not helpful) and many shoppers and a number of businesses have been driven out of the village.

Michelle Pyke (1 term “at large” councillor) As the unsuccessful mayoral aspirant in the last election, you would have expected her to be a more vocal, opinionated proponent for change. Instead she has been very quiet (as have all her fellow councillors). The only time I have heard her speak up recently was when defending the council and championing her role as the “voice of the unrepresented”. I don’t know who these “unrepresented” are, or how they’ve gotten along over the last 3 year term, but I’m taking the silence as a bad sign.
If all else fails, she can always go back to offering career and financial advice to lotto winners.

The others:

Stuart McLauchlan
A managing partner with legal firm Langley Twigg, past president of the Hawke’s Bay Chamber of Commerce and current chairman of the economic development agency, Business Hawke’s Bay had signaled his interest in standing for mayor earlier this year too. His youth, knowledge and connections would have been fantastic for the city, but he later decided against standing. As a member of the pro-amalgamation lobby group “A Better Hawke’s Bay” I think he may have had too much of an up-hill battle against an entrenched status quo / anti-amalgamation establishment in Napier.

David Trim
There may yet be hope for Napier, as someone other than a current councillor finally puts their hand up for nomination. Local businessman David Trim has indicated to the local paper that he will be contesting a place either as mayor, or as councillor in October’s local body elections.

Hawke’s Bay Today believes there may yet be at least one other contender for the Napier mayoralty. For the sake of a prosperous, cooperative, diverse and fully represented Napier advancing into the future, I do hope so!

One Little Word

Posted on by
Reply

My Dad had a beautiful but. You could hear it coming a mile off.

Yes you read right.

Dad was one of the most considerate, fair people I knew. A side effect of this was he always seemed to see both sides of a problem, so when weighing up pros and cons of an issue or item, he would list all the good aspects, BUT, then list all the negatives.

One little word can make all the difference.

I catch myself using “just” far too much. “I’m just turning off the computer” (after I’ve checked my email, surfed three news sites, updated my Facebook status, sent two tweets and waited for their replies). “I was just about to do that” (after reading my book / playing PlayStation / oh crap, I completely forgot about that, but I’m not going to let on).

Anyone who watches the plethora of police / highway patrol / breath-testing shows will know that “a couple” of drinks never actually means “two” (unless it’s a couple of litre-sized glasses).

Similarly when a girl says “Oh, you’re so sweet, let’s just be friends” she never means she wants to be friends with you, and especially not “friends with benefits.”

(I only learned what that expression meant in the last few years. Up till that point, to me, “friends with benefits” meant my (male) mate had a Sega Master System, and I only had a Commodore 64, but I digress.)

One little word that will get you chucked out of the Frame household faster than anything is “the”. Especially when it is used as the prefix for “Hawke’s Bay”.

To all the reporters, TV weather people, associated media and general public, may I just say this: “THERE IS NO ‘THE’ IN HAWKE’S BAY!” The same goes for Wairarapa, Waikato and Manawatu, but you still see those three little letters creeping in to daily usage.

“The Hutt Valley” in Wellington, by comparison is fine, as it was a valley named after someone named Hutt (sadly, it wasn’t “Jabba the” – I checked)

“The” is what’s known as a definite article, so must refer to, or precede a noun (naming word) i.e.: the cat, the book. “The Hawke’s Bay Hospital” or “the Hawke’s Bay region” is fine, as they describe the Hospital that is located in Hawke’s Bay and the region known as Hawke’s Bay. But describing the region solely as “The Hawke’s Bay” doesn’t work as it doesn’t describe anything – The Hawke’s Bay what? You don’t say “The Auckland”, “The Canterbury” or “The Otago”, do you?

“Aha!” you may say, the big body of water the region semi-surrounds is Hawke’s Bay, isn’t it? Well, no it’s not. To quote Wikipedia: “The bay itself is Hawke Bay, whereas the region which surrounds it bears the bay’s former name, Hawke’s Bay.”

”Hawke Bay” was named by Captain, then Lieutenant, James (as a Star Trek fan, I always want to add a “T” in the middle here) Cook after Sir Edward Hawke, First Lord of the Admiralty, when Cook arrived here in 1769.

And in any case, using correct grammar and “the” would make it “The Bay of Hawke”, just as our nation’s fellow famous bays are named “The Bay of Islands” and “The Bay of Plenty”

So endeth the lesson, dear reader and media-type. There is no such place as “The Hawke’s Bay”. Please stop referring to it as such, or we may exile you to The Chatham Islands!

Why The Warehouse Should Form a Political Party!

Posted on by
Reply

I tweeted a thought the other day, wondering if The Warehouse was the Steven Joyce of NZ retail. The Warehouse tweeted back asking what did I mean (awkward!), so I explained that Mr Joyce is considered the “Minister of Everything” for his many and varied portfolios and general “Mr Fix it” role in government and that the Warehouse is the “Retailer of Everything” selling CDs, books, toys, clothes, appliances, plants, food, etc. etc. etc. The Warehouse tweeter seemed happy with my explanation and NZ blogging and Twitter icon Moata Tamaira opined to me, “If only The Warehouse could go into politics.” “Hmmm,” I thought, why not?

Think about it – The Warehouse would be the perfect political party. Its red branding, egalitarian “Where EVERYONE gets a bargain” slogan and work in the community would appeal to socially minded voters, while its massive retailing empire, overseas trading ability and the sheer volume of money that flows through the company (the amount of GST they accumulate each year must be staggering) would appeal to those of a more capitalistic bend.

Too often politicians are criticised for “not living in the real world”, well the Warehouse is certainly part of the real world and has become such a feature of everyday life for New Zealanders that it would be the perfect interface between politics and the public. Go in store to buy a new pair of pants and pick up some shares in a state-owned power company at the same time (Note: I do not know what The Warehouse’s stance is on asset sales, I’m just using it as an example). Buy a DVD and you could also file your tax return at the checkout. Purchase some oil for your car and pay the registration at the same time. Brilliant, eh? Need to talk to your local member for parliament? Look no further than the information kiosk, or attending to the clean up in aisle four – in the Warehouse Political Party “public service” really does mean serving the public!

As Peter Dunne’s (499 people formerly known as) United Future discovered, politics is all about support and membership. This is from where the term “card carrying member” originates. The Warehouse already has financial contributors in the millions. Every day thousands of New Zealanders shop there, that’s a lot of grassroots support. Want to join the Warehouse Political Party? If you have a Warehouse store credit card, you could already be a member!

So there you go. It’s a little over a year to the next general election, the current mob in parliament (on both sides of the chamber) don’t seem to be making any new friends, or keeping many old ones and a gap has opened up with United Future ceasing to have an actual future, or a present for that matter, so it would be the perfect time for a new party to sweep into power and who better to do it than The Warehouse?

Remember my Name – F(r)ame!

Posted on by
Reply

I was reading an article in an issue of The Profit a few weeks ago about a local radio announcer and had to have a bit of a giggle. It was nothing to do with the person, or the station at the centre of the article, but the fact they were referred to as a “celebrity”.

They say, if you say a word too many times, it loses its meaning. Well, over recent years, “celebrity” certainly fits that bill. Andy Warhol’s quote about everyone getting “15 minutes of fame” has become less of a cliché and more of a mantra, a life-goal for thousands who’s lives seemingly require attention and adoration of hundreds or thousands to be fulfilled or credible.

I can’t help but feel that Hawke’s Bay is too small or close-knit to have celebrities. Dave the radio announcer is merely our mate Dave, the radio announcer. Margaret the city councillor is just Margaret, the city councillor. Yet we have people (too often the media) insisting on calling them celebrities.

As an example, every year maybe a dozen or more people die on Hawke’s Bay roads. Most of these local, unfortunate and untimely road deaths receive a few column inches in one article in the Hawke’s Bay Today and nothing is heard (or read) of the event again.

Yet earlier this year one road death, that of a model, mother and the wife of a rugby player and former All Black, died in a car accident in the Waikato region. This tragic event received weeks’ worth of coverage – 7 articles in total.

Now, I didn’t know this person, or their family at all and I am sorry for their loss. My problem is with how it was covered. I tend to think that everyone’s life is precious and equally important, so what I want to know is why the Hawke’s Bay Today featured so much of this incident, when they normally don’t feature much of similar death that happens locally. Was it because she was married to someone famous or was perceived, by someone at the paper, to be a celebrity?

Some may say I’m just reinforcing New Zealand’s infamous “Tall Poppy Syndrome” by denouncing the celebrity phenomena.

But what constitutes being a celebrity?

What qualities, above and beyond us mere mortals, do they require? What significant improvement or difference to the world do they make? If the examples set by those who don’t need naming, because they receive far too much attention as it is on our televisions and women’s magazines are anything to go by, it’s very little. They feature in poorly “unscripted” TV shows that follow them around doing things regular people do, or “strand” them on some desert island with a bunch of similar “celebrities” to see who can “survive” the longest or “outlast” their competition (anyone in these circles being capable of “outwitting” anyone else is a bridge too far, apparently). Their every meal, fashion choice or romantic liaison deserves cover-story status on thousands of publications. What a joke.

I think there should be less focus on celebrity and far more focus on credibility. Why not focus more on those people who truly deserve celebrating? Caring parents, influential teachers and business leaders, people who make a real difference to our world and lives.

Last month I nearly lost my father – he is my “celebrity”, my hero and inspiration.

He had a cold that had stealthily developed into pneumonia and was taken to the hospital, where he actually stopped breathing and spent a couple days in Intensive Care Unit, unconscious, hooked up to a ventilator.

The ICU of any hospital is not somewhere you really want to end up, either as a patient, or as a close family member.

It’s where those who are the sickest, the most at risk of dying are looked after.

One thing that sticks in my mind is the staff – the doctors and nurses who work in this most tense and delicate environment. They were friendly, caring (to both patients and shell-shocked relatives), calm, informative, skilled and utterly professional.

Bells, whistles and buzzers would go off at random intervals and they would barely blink an eyelid, just do what needed to be done.

Dad has since made a full recovery, but it was a close-run thing.

I think the staff of the ICU deserve celebrity status, but they’d just say they were only doing their jobs.