Now She is One

Candle

“It’s been a day of tiny triumphs, It’s been a week spent in despair” once sang Jon Toogood of Shihad.

Well, We’ve had a similar, albeit far more enjoyable experience (as opposed to the hassles we went through to have her) over the last twelve months and I was able to reflect on it a few weeks ago, when our daughter turned one year old.

In twelve months we have watched her grow from a tiny, almost animatronic-like being that slowly opened and closed her eyes, made the odd noise and spent most of her time sleeping, feeding and pooping – to a smart, social, highly interactive little girl.

She loves people and they love her. Walking around town carrying her or pushing her in the pram, I have never been so attractive to women – they all want to look at our smiling, giggling, lovely little lady.

She has become an incredibly quick study. We say “good girl” and she claps her hands. We leave the room and she waves goodbye.

Just last weekend I blew her a kiss and she returned the favour. Then, when feeding her lunch, she started picking up bits of her sandwich and began feeding me. She wouldn’t take “No, it’s your lunch” for an answer!

She is incredible and her mother and I love her very, very, much.

Happy first birthday, Baby in Frame!

Ducking out to the Cricket

"Quack, Quack!"

“Quack, Quack!”

Well, I had an interesting night last Friday!

The “Georgie Pie Super Smash” was in town, with New Zealand’s domestic cricket teams fighting it out for T20 supremacy. As you know, I love cricket, so when the call went out for people to give a hand I readily volunteered. You probably even saw me there, but I doubt you would have recognised me.

Aside from the cricket, there were other events around the ground on the weekend – a bouncy castle, trade stalls on Saturday and Sunday and team mascots roaming the grounds.

I was one of them.

Well, more precisely, I was an impartial mascot – I was a giant duck! (careful on the spelling there, buddy…)

Whenever any batsman got out for zero runs or a “Duck” in cricket, it was my job to tramp out onto the field, pack a hissy fit and then dejectedly drag my bat back to my post on the boundary until the next duck happened.

There were three on the night I was dabbling as Daffy – which made me not only the tallest duck of the weekend, but also one of the busiest.

It almost didn’t happen, though. As the game was just getting under way an thunderstorm rolled over Napier pelting the ground in a mini down-pour and adding some special effects to proceedings as thunder rolled and lightning arced across the sky (cue nervous glances to the giant metal light towers surrounding the ground)

The ground announcer proceeded to play Prince’s “Purple Rain”, followed by Guns & Roses’ perfectly timed “November Rain”.

I love 90’s rock, so couldn’t resist waddling out to the field and launching into an epic “Ducky Hendrix” air guitar cover of Slash’s great guitar work on his bat to entertain the crowd… right up until “November Rain” was mercilessly cut short (somewhere around Saturday the 22nd) and faded into the next song, just as the biggest, best guitar solo of the song was about to kick in.

Duck’s head dropped disconsolately, his posture slouched and once again he trudged off the field dragging his bat.

Ducky Hendrix had left the building.

Jackson Pollock Junior

Our daughter's latest instilation: "Aftermath of Corn & Tuna for Tea"

Our daughter’s latest instilation: “Aftermath of Corn & Tuna for Tea”

It’s something we haven’t heard of in a while, but after surveying the aftermath of a recent “Baby in Frame” feeding time I was reminded of just how popular “child prodigies” used to be a while ago.

Little “Sebastian” or “Juniper” (they always seemed to have quite ‘alternative’ names – I guess “Jack” and “Jill” were too busy playing with their Lego, My Little Pony, or off somewhere “fetching water”) would just happen to have an incident involving pots of paint and a canvas / wall / pet hamster and lo and behold: It. Was. Art!

And not just your regular

“Hey Mum, look what I painted!”
“A horsey, that’s nice dear!”
“No, Mum, It’s Dad, you and me!”
“Oh..” art

This stuff was somehow worth THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS and featured in flash art galleries alongside dirty sheets and primate impressionists.

Quite often these midget magnum opuses seemed to resemble minimalist impressions of Jackson Pollock or the like – to you and I random squiggles on a page that literally did look like a toddler painted them because, well, one did!

After a brief flare of popularity, like many artists, their light and work faded into obscurity, never to be seen or heard from again.

The “child prodigy” phenomena equally faded into obscurity. Possibly because artistic tastes changed, maybe because we’ve all become a bit jaded and cautious of such fads these days, or perhaps because with “reality” television and the world wide web, every pint-sized Jackson, Frida and Leonardo can have their work viewed from anywhere at any time taking a bit of the mystique out of it.

I can’t help but wonder how a child art prodigy promoter would cope with the modern world’s more cynical outlook on life. If one was to knock on our door, I imagine the conversation would go something like this:

“I see your baby was using quite earthy tones – were they influenced by Monet’s earlier works?
“Nope, that’s just poop”
“Oh. What about those gorgeous, verdant greens?”
“That’s poop too. She had a thing for kiwifruit, peas and broccoli that week”
“And the watercolours are…?”
“She was really thirsty that week too…”
“Ah…”
“Yup.”

There may yet be hope for our budding baby artist, though. The other week “Baby in Frame” had a big dinner of pasta and tomato sauce. We wiped her face afterwards and this was the resulting imprint on the face cloth:

tiki

I wonder if that’s how Dick Frizzell got started…

Let’s Grow a Mo 6.0

iMo 6.0

iMo 6.0

Things are about to get hairy once again, as Movember slowly grows upon us!

This will be my sixth year growing a moustache to help raise money and awareness of men’s health, particularly prostate cancer and depression. The cause is one very close to my heart (and face) as, like so many others, I’ve suffered from depression, am scared from cancer and if he had been more aware of his health, or more readily sought help, my dear Dad might still be here today.

A few years ago I put on a real push to raise money and ended up collecting over $230. I’d like to try and at least get close to that total again this year and I have a few ideas on how to drum up support and mo-ney for my Movember campaign.

I am a HUGE supporter of #BuyLocal and Hawke’s Bay businesses. Combine this with my hyperbolas talent with words and getting messages across in 140 characters or less and there are numerous opportunities, temporary rebrandings and partnerships that could help me get there.

Some are pretty straight forward – like:

Mo-ana Park Winery

and

Mo(re) FM

Others require a bit of creativity or editing:

Like Bay EspressMO – in particular, my usual cafe haunt in Napier: “Six Sisters”, or, for this case, “Six Mo Sistas

An alpha-numeric swap-around makes Kent Baddeley’s fantastic restaurant, “10 Twenty Four” become “M0 Twenty Four”!

Similarly, turn the name of #Awesome local internet provider “NOW” upside down and you get “MO(N)”!

And this is only the beginning!

One of my favourite new food ventures in Napier is “Donut Robot” – a very cool little retro caravan in Carlyle Street, across the road from Countdown, who makes and sells fresh American donuts.

When cut in half, these tasty treats look remarkably like, you guessed it, moustaches! “Donut Robot” could become “Mo-nut Robot” – serving delicious sugared or iced “mo-nuts”! “Would you like sprinkles on your “Mo-nut”, sir?” (I will have to ask Steve the owner about that idea…).

There are even more fabulous ideas spinning around in my head, but I’d better keep them for later in case someone tries to flog them.

If you would like to donate to the Mo cause and help raise funding and awareness for NZ men’s health, you can do so HERE!

Ciao, Antonio!

Antonios has been a landmark feature on the corner of Carlyle St since 1990

Antonios has been a landmark feature on the corner of Carlyle St since 1990

A Napier foodie era came to an end last night as Anthony Larrington-Lewer made, cooked and served his last pizzas.

“Who?” you may ask.

The name may not be too familiar, but his nom de plume ”Antonio” and the location of ‘Antonio’s Pizza and Pasta’ on the corner of Carlyle and Tennyson Streets has become a landmark ever since moving there in 1990.

Over the years thousands of people must have sat at the lights on that corner on their way home from town, wondering what’s for dinner and suddenly been struck by an urge to have pizza!

Originally opening in lower Emerson Street in 1979, Anthony never expected to be still making pasta and pizzas 35 years later, but “this is the way things happen” he tells me as we stop in to buy our last “authentico Antonio” pizza, pasta and garlic bread.

35 years is a very long time in any business, but even more so in the food industry – especially when you consider that same period saw such an immense increase in the number of and uptake of fast food outlets within close proximity of Antonio’s.

KFC, Pizza Hutt, McDonalds, Burger King, Dominoes, Burger Fuel and various other Chinese and Indian restaurants and takeaways have all sprung up nearby, yet Antonio’s just kept going.

His secret? Probably the natural, authentic way Anthony did things.

He hand-made and kneaded the pizza dough and made the bases for each pizza as they were created. People loved watching their pizza being made in front of them.

He used natural ingredients with no swathes of sauce smothering everything and made good, basic, Italian-style pizzas. Margherita (cheese, tomato sauce and basil or oregano – said to represent the red, white and green of the Italian flag), Marinara (seafood) and Napoletana (originating from Naples).

There were also personal touches – The restaurant was kept as low-key and natural as possible – Anthony intended it to be like going for dinner at your Italian grandmother’s house.

Anthony has great personality and wicked sense of humour as his answering machine message showed:

“So sorry, Antonio, he not here…. I think…. HEY, ANTONIO, ARE YOU HERE?!”

He even bought one of the original “Art Deco is SO Last Century” T-shirts I made years ago and wore it loudly and proudly every Art Deco Weekend.

Thursday was Anthony’s last “public” open day, he is having a private function tonight (Friday) to say goodbye to friends and loyal customers.

Antonio’s won’t be going away completely, though. Anthony has sold the business and plans to stick around and help out the new owners out a bit. He is looking forward to retirement, though and “doing all the things he’s wanted to do”.

So “Arrivederci, Antonio!” Getting a pizza in Napier won’t be quite the same without you!

"Antonio" (Anthony Larrington-Lewer) serves us up one of his last pizzas

“Antonio” (Anthony Larrington-Lewer) serves us up one of his last pizzas

Death to Art Deco?

DBC

I was told by someone a few years ago that after learning that Deco-themed weddings had become de rigeur and several had been included in weekend celebrations, an Art Deco Weekend guest speaker opined:

“Judging by the amount of grey hair of local devotees present tonight, I wouldn’t be too surprised if there weren’t a few upcoming Art Deco themed funerals!”

His comments weren’t overly well received at the time, apparently. But his idea obviously struck a chord somewhere, as at the next Art Deco Weekend, a “Death By Chocolate” event will be held at Dunstalls Funeral Parlour in Napier.

Funeral Director Paul Dunstall is an old family friend of mine. He is a great guy with a wicked sense of humour, so this comes as no real surprise.

But it does also raise two interesting points:

1/ When WILL there be an Art Deco Funeral.

2/ Having been Napier’s main tourist event for well over 20 years now, when will Art Deco Weekend start to die off?

Topp Stuff!

Four years ago, when I was doing the “Man About Town” column for BayBuzz, I interviewed Lynda Topp of the Topp Twins for a tour they were doing.

Well, Lynda and Jools Topp are coming back to Napier this month with a new show “The Grand Ole Topp’ry” paying homage to country music greats and celebrating contemporary Kiwi music, with the Topps’ fantastic style of comedy throughout.

The tour rides into Napier’s Municipal Theatre on 22 October tickets are available from Ticketek

Here’s my interview with Linda again for a bit of a Thursday throw-back!

topps2

Music runs in the blood of many famous New Zealand families. Bic & Boh Runga, Evermore’s Jon, Peter and Dan Hume and Tim & Neil Finn.

Jools and Lynda Topp are no exception. From an early age they were entertainers, performing for family and the animals on their parents’ Huntly farm. Busking to the stage, television to international movie screens, the Topp Twins have become more than just world famous in New Zealand.

They are now world famous in, well, the world. Their documentary feature film “Untouchable Girls – The Movie” has made approximately $2 million in New Zealand theatres, making it the highest selling New Zealand-made documentary ever.

I spoke to Lynda Topp earlier this week in the lead up their performance about their career, characters, fame and the darker side of their performances. The side not all parts of the community are comfortable with. Because Lynda is smitten … with yodeling.

When did you realize you had been bitten by the yodeling bug (or should that be mountain goat)?
From an early age. When I was about nine, I heard “Tinto, Pony and I” sung by June Holmes and that was it.

How did your parents take the news, were they very supportive?
For the first year of practicing, Mum banished me to the paddocks whenever I wanted to yodel. Our neighbours had an old wind-up gramophone and some country music vinyl records. We’d ride our horses down to their place, listen to the music, memorize as much of it as possible and ride back home to grab the guitar (which we weren’t allowed to carry on the horses). We’d play it and write it down, forget a part of it, ride back to the neighbors and so it continued. Seven years later we were good singers and we were excellent horsewomen!

Were you a yodeling child prodigy, or was it something that required a lot of hard toil?
There was a fair bit of work went into it. I didn’t publicly yodel for about six years until I was confident enough to perform. There are three things musically you can perform either brilliantly or do so horribly people will be after your head – bagpipes, the banjo and yodeling. I wanted to make sure I did it well.

I guess “The Sound of Music” would feature as one of your favorite movies thanks to the “Lonely Goatherd”?
No, that was particularly bad yodeling. Too ‘folksy’. Not ‘true’. We do more of a Swiss traditional or Cowboy (which the Americans developed from the Swiss) yodel. It’s one of those movies that get played every year around Christmas, so it gets a bit tiresome. So many of the big musical numbers are, or seem to be, done in one take, though. So from a performance perspective it was very good. In terms of costuming, not so much. Nowhere near enough lederhosen.
(When TV3 played the “Sound of Music” at Christmas, there was a transmission error and over half the movie was played, ironically, without sound!)

Speaking of “The Sound of Music” how do you solve a problem like Maria?
(Laughs) Send her out goat herding for seven or eight months.

What were some of your other musical and character/performance influences?
We grew up listening to country music. “The American Country Top 40″ radio show was a highlight of the week. The music was our inspiration, so we started writing songs very early too. Our driving force is always the music. The Gingham Sisters (a pair of country singing, spoon-playing sisters) were the first characters we came up with; the rest came later for the TV shows to add a bit of depth and comedy.

Two of your characters, “Prue & Dilly” are socialites from Hawke’s Bay. Sort of “Ab’ Fab’” meets CWI. Are they based on anyone we might know?
Our father used to be involved in polo when we were kids and a large proportion of the players came from Hawke’s Bay. So those two are more of a send-up or tribute to the polo ladies we met. They are larger than life party girls.

You should really bring them along to an Art Deco Weekend some time. I’m concerned some of the event goers may not realize they’re fictitious alter egos, though.
We’ve yet to attend an Art Deco Weekend. Prue & Dilly would love to go. They have some art deco pieces in their house and would love to go for a drive in one of the fancy vintage cars.

I remember seeing you perform at an A&P Show here a few years ago. Any fond or standout memories form Hawke’s Bay performances?
The Hawke’s Bay A&P Show always has a great traditional feel about it. A few years ago I got to ride a giant, championship Hereford bull as “Camp Mother” with Jools as “Camp Leader” leading it. I spent the whole time thinking “if this thing so much as flinches, I’m gone!” Our folks live in Hawke’s Bay now too, so we always have a good time when we’re up there.

A lot of people have grown up with you on the TV and in shows. The word “beloved” is often used with your names and you’ve grown quite a legion of fans here and overseas. Do you ever consider yourself ‘famous’?
No, not really. We have a lifestyle block, so we don’t see too many people other than when we’re doing shows or out shopping. If anything, we feel honored. If it weren’t for the fans, we wouldn’t be able to do what we do, so we always try to stop and have a chat, or sign an autograph etc. It’s quite funny; I’ve even had someone call out to me “Hey Ken!” (One of their characters) when I’m in the supermarket and not even in costume!

Is there a question you’ve always wanted to be asked, but never have? If so, what is it?
Yes, the question you just asked me. No one, until now, has asked, “How do you feel about your career?” (Woohoo! An exclusive!”)

What next for the Topp Twins? Politics, global Internet domination perhaps?
We’re going to play at the “Grand Ol’ Opry” in Nashville, Tennessee – that’s been a dream for many years. We’d like to do a ‘movie’ movie, now that the documentary has done so well. Otherwise just enjoying a good lifestyle and making people laugh!

Finally, Barry Manilow sang “I write the songs that make the whole world sing”. If you could write a song to make the whole world sing, what would it be about?
We already have one. It’s called “Untouchable Girls” and it’s become our trademark. We play it as the final song in our performances and for the last five shows we’ve done everyone has stood up at the end and sung it with us. That’s the sort of thing that makes it an honor for us.

“The Grand Ole Topp’ry” rides into Napier’s Municipal Theatre on 22 October tickets are available from Ticketek

“What’s in a (Toy’s) Name?”

"Dog" and... um... "Dog"!

“Dog” and… um… “Dog”!

Like most children, Little Miss Frame has several soft toys, teddy bears etc. – each of which her mum and I have named for ease of memory and identification.

Being children of the 80’s, Mrs F and I were brought up amidst a flood of “branded” toys. “Barbie” was, and will forever be “Barbie”, no matter how many versions of her you have. My GI Joes all have their allotted code-names as per the packaging and Carebears will always be either “Carebear” (as we call the little one we got Miss F), or whatever its model name is – “Fun-shine” “Hugs-a-lot” etc.

The biggest percentage of soft toys my wife and I had, though, avoided mass commercialisation. My wife had (and still has) “Mr Ted” – a teddy bear almost as big as she is now that her father made and “Eric” the troll doll. I had the “Playschool”-influenced, hand-made “Big Ted” and “Little Ted”, as well as “Monks” the monkey and a mini Footrot Flats dog I got for my 7th birthday called, you guessed it, “Dog”!

Like us, 99% of our daughter’s toys are unbranded, hand-made etc., so we had free reign with what we called them. But WHY we named them what we did is half the fun of the exercise.

There’s “George” the pink furry hippo – named after, funnily enough, “George” the pink furry hippo from the 80’s TV series “Rainbow”.

We got a second, smaller hippo for pram travel and naturally we couldn’t have a “George”, without having a “Mildred”!

There’s “Vincent” – the bear with one ear (the other started coming loose and had to be removed for safety reasons).

And “Henrietta” is a small, googly-eyed Giraffe. I have no idea why I called her Henrietta, other than it seemed a fitting name for a giraffe at the time.

These are the names that will stick with our little Miss and her toys for years to come. Hopefully she’ll have fond memories of playing with them and when she has her own children (no pressure – you’re only 9 months old!) she’ll have fun naming their teddies and toys.

What (and why) were YOUR toys names?

Horsepower Needed in Hoofing Berties Buses

I see Napier City Council have decided to divorce their trouble-plagued, ill-conceived Art Deco Buses and sell them after barely a year in service.

They plan to stop the service in May and sell the buses to try and recover some ratepayer money.

I think NCC may have already missed a great opportunity to get the people of Napier a good price for “Bertie and Barb’s Busted Buses” by not hocking them off even earlier than May.

With Hastings’ annual equine event attracting so much publicity, attention and so much money from a very affluent sector of society, surely the last couple of weeks would have been the best time and place to sell vehicles with massive price-tags that are so used to having only a few occupants:

"Where are we going, Wilbur?"

“Where are we going, Wilbur?”