Dam(n) Hypocrisy

OK, someone stick a fork in the Hawke’s Bay Regional Council – it’s DONE!

To use cricketing parlance, Christine Scott – one of Napier’s three representatives on the council, Deputy HBRC Chair and ardent Ruataniwha Water Storage Scheme backer – has nicked one behind to the keeper and caught herself out.

Now, as anyone with an ounce of fair play in their system would do needs to walk.

She’s out.

That’s it.

Bye-bye!

Councilor Scott packed such a big hissy fit when fellow councilor, but anti-RWSS advocate, Tom Belford, posted this blog claiming fellow councillors (including Mrs Scott and HBRC Chairman Fenton Wilson) and senior council staff wanted the Ruataniwha dam built “at any cost”.

“In her complaint to Chairman Fenton, Mrs Scott said the claims in the post were untrue, offensive and derogatory”

But in today’s Hawke’s Bay Today she says:

“We have already spent quite a considerable sum of money ($20 MILLION and counting – AF) in investigations to get to here. This dam will go ahead at some stage. Whether it is started this year, next year or whether it’s ten or 20 years out from now, it will go ahead”

Unlike this whole damn dam venture, that last quote is just priceless!

You’ve caught yourself out, Christine!

Go.

Resign.

Leave. Right. NOW!

You have proved your intent to have this horribly expensive debacle go ahead at any cost – TO YOUR RATEPAYERS.

You seem to forget those same ratepayers are also your employers.

To me at least, that is an abuse of power and a huge dishonor to your position – you no longer deserve it!

Fun and Yum with Cricketing Cuisine

The team gathers before the game...

The team gathers before the game…

I am fortunate to have some wonderful friends.

I’ve been playing cricket for Napier Old Boys’ Marist for ten years now and have been club secretary for five of those years. Working and playing with the same people over such a long time forms some tight bonds and I do consider a lot of my club-mates as family.

Hawke’s Bay’s social media community – especially the local Twitterers are also one of the, literally, most social groups of people I know and we have formed some very strong friendships with people we have met via the interweb.

So when the two combine, something special can happen.

I had the pleasure of being involved in just such an occasion this month.

Culinary genius and all-round good bugger, Kent Baddeley of Ten 24, had taken to Facebook to get input on ideas for dinner events over the coming months. I chipped in with a cricket-themed dinner concept to celebrate the Cricket World Cup games being held in Napier. I and a couple other Facebook friends brainstormed dish titles like “Silly Mid Off”, “Bowl a Maiden Over”, “The Ashes” and the like.

Kent liked the idea and set me the task of coming up with a menu, pricing etc. and getting a crowd along. If I could do it, Mrs NapierinFrame and I could dine for free – now there was an offer I couldn’t refuse!

Some creative thinking and Googling lots of food ideas resulted in a five course dinner menu, based around a One Day International match format:

Ten24 Dinner 1

Now, to get a crowd…
Hmmm…
Where could I find a couple dozen people who like cricket and food…?
I know – My cricket club!!

So early this month a diverse group of my fellow club and team-mates gathered in “Pakowhaishire” for what would be a truly glorious dinner.

Kent had kept the course names, but came up with his own wonderful dishes (as I’d hoped he would) and all the guests, many of whom had never been to Ten24 before but will surely be back, were gob-smacked.

Pictures were taken, tweets were sent and statuses were updated, and the whole occasion bounced around the world on social media and by word of mouth for days afterwards.

The more people heard about it, the more wished they were there.

It looks like this may even become an annual event, with even more attendees and I hope it does because, as I said, I am fortunate to have some wonderful friends!

Ten24Dinner

Just Spray (Money) and Walk Away!

This little doozy almost snuck under the radar, printed in the Napier Mail last week (week begining 16 Feb 2015)

This little doozy almost snuck under the radar, printed in the Napier Mail last week (week begining 16 Feb 2015)

I’m pleased to announce that Napier’s beleaguered Museum, Theatre, Gallery’s (“MTG”) problems have apparently all gone away!
You’ll be excused for not noticing the change as, while publicised, it did seem to be done all hush-hush.

I’ve previously mentioned the wildly inaccurate consultant’s visitor number calculations, woeful storage capacity issues, over-priced entry fees, staff restructures, job losses and all the associated bad press and public opinion that go with it, but before these problems could “go gentle into that quiet night”, there was one final financial flaw to face – Napier City Council announced recently that the facility’s operating costs were expected to be $500,000 more than budgeted.

Half a million dollars!

That’s TWO Dibble sculptures worth! 😉

While a fair bit of that budget blow-out is from continuingly lack-lustre visitor numbers, a fair amount would also result from the workforce restructure NCC instituted last year and pay-outs for redundancies and the like.

But we needn’t worry about that money any more – It’s all been fixed financially, after Napier City Council’s Finance Committee (Which actually includes ALL COUNCILLORS) elected to retire MTG’s debt of $5,000,000. You read right – not just this year’s blowout of $500,000, but the WHOLE debt of FIVE MILLION DOLLARS!

The money – YOUR RATEPAYER MONEY – was re-distributed from the proceeds of land sales in Parklands.

The council’s spin team evidently decided that a clean slate was required – All the bad decisions, big debts and former staff have gone and everyone can start afresh with no memory of the past.

So it isn’t too surprising to find our local paper, The Hawke’s Bay Today, appeared to give almost too-glowing coverage of MTG’s new director Laura Vodanovich’s appointment, arrival and first few days in office.

The paper has even given the new director her own column in their weekend edition.

That’s an awful lot of support for someone who’s barely been in the job long enough to get their chair warm, let alone turn MTG’s fortunes (literally and figuratively) around. I don’t remember Douglas Lloyd-Jenkins being accorded such support.

I wonder what the turn-around time is these days between pandering and being on the endangered species list?

Napier in Frame – Fashion Designer!

I'm NOT too sexy for my shirt... ;)

I’m NOT too sexy for my shirt… 😉

About five years ago I came up with an idea.

Having never been a big fan of the whole “Art Deco is all there is to Napier” mind-set that seems to rule our city, I decided to make a statement and wear my heart (and opinion) on my chest.

I came up with a slogan – “Art Deco is SO Last Century”, made up a design to accompany it and got about a dozen T-shirts printed off, selling them to like-minded friends.

They went down a treat and I, along with many of my friends still wear their T-shirts years later on Art Deco Weekends, such as the one that hits Napier tomorrow.

They still draw attention, good natured laughs (usually from visitors in period-themed costumes) as well as the ire of some of the snootier-nosed Napier “Deco-ites”.

I had been meaning to reproduce the shirts for some years, but time, demand, money and all the usual trappings of life seemed to get in the way.
But this year I finally got a chance to get a good run-up and have another batch made.

Two went to friends who had been waiting for me to make more, but I do still have T-shirts sized Small, Medium, Large and XL available.

Do you fancy making a (fashion) statement this Art Deco Weekend?

Then let me know! 

Whinge Away!

g

I have noticed a disturbing trend emerging in Hawke’s Bay recently – no-one is allowed to complain. About anything.

If you do, you are a “Hater”, or a “Knocker”. Basically, it’s devolved into George W. Bush-esque “You’re either with us or against us” bullshit.

You don’t like the fact a giant container park has grown skywards, right next to Napier’s picturesque Estuary nature reserve? Then you don’t support new jobs being created!

Or If you think Lawrence Yule’s roles as Hastings mayor, amalgamation advocate and head of Local Government New Zealand might all conflict in some way? Or that using ratepayer money pay for promoting Hastings District Council’s pro-amalgamation (and inevitably Napier City Council’s anti-amalgamation) viewpoints could be considered as some level of graft or misappropriation of public funds, then you don’t support democracy, or making Hawke’s Bay a better place!

What a croc….

Sadly, the sentiment has been around for a while – it has even been ingrained in HB local body policy.

A Massey University researcher found Napier City Council’s code of conduct “stifles the free speech of councillors”.

Massey University’s Dr Catherine Strong analysed codes of conduct of all New Zealand’s city and district councils and found:

“Napier City Council was the only Hawke’s Bay council to include what she called “disturbing” wording preventing elected representatives’ talking to the media about anything negative within their council.

According to Napier City Council’s code of conduct, statements from councillors should not “make personal criticism of the proper conduct of the council or of other elected members, officers of the council or members of the public”.

Napier Mayor Bill Dalton said his council’s code of conduct was “”toughened up” over 10 years ago during a period when the council “almost became dysfunctional” due to infighting between councillors”.

“There were councillors on the council at that stage who spent more time attacking each other than they did working for the city. The whole idea was to be able to deal with that and in fact the voters of Napier dealt with it in the 2004 elections.” Following the elections “the problem went away”.

The councillors he is referring to were Dave Bosely and current “A Better Hawke’s Bay” / pro-amalgamation spokesperson, John Harrison.

I remember that time and the ongoing feud that carried on throughout local papers and around the city. At times it was very petty and not a particularly good look for the council, or either councillor, but it at least showed there was debate and differing opinions going on between our civic leaders.

“It certainly hasn’t been necessary since and in my eight years on council there has been absolutely no need for the code of conduct to even be looked at.” says Mayor Dalton.

That’s because Dalton’s predecessor Barbara Arnott and her CEO Neil Taylor appeared to have their feet firmly down on the throat of any form of dissent. As a result you heard virtually nothing from anyone except the mayor and CEO for years.

But the policy is still there and could very well have been part of one of the things NCC’s former economic development manager Ron Massey was dismissed for after he allegedly poo-pooed NCC’s failed Art Deco buses at a HB Tourism meeting.

But let’s be perfectly honest, WHO COULD BLAME HIM?? Pretty much every Napier ratepayer who had to pay for that sorry mess was critical of it, so why couldn’t some NCC staff be too?

By comparison, all of last term’s councillors voted for the cursed things (as far as I can tell), and were able to laugh off the large ratepayer-funded loss. Nobody criticised anyone else (keeping within code of conduct guidelines) and NO-ONE WAS MADE ACCOUNTABLE! What a win-win situation!

As Doctor Strong said of her results: “Most people elect their local councillors because they want some changes or they want them to look over what’s going on at the council and make sure it’s on the right path.”

If you see something is wrong it’s your right, your duty, to point it out – to make people aware of it and to fix it. Or, if you can’t, get it fixed.

There was a quote I read recently:

“This is your world – Shape it, or someone else will”

I say “Vox Populi”– Whinge away!

Napier and Hawke’s Bay deserve better!

Fifty Shades of an Idiot

untitled

You may remember a while a go I entered a competition the Edge radio station’s “Forbidden Fiction” competition and won $500 with my story “The Sexiest Thing a Man Can Do” – a tounge-in-cheek take on the Fifty Shades of Gray franchise.

Well, with the movie adaption of the book being released a week or two ago, the Edge had another competition to win tickets to the premiere and I couldn’t resist having another go. I didn’t win, but still think my entry is worth sharing.

Don’t worry – It’s only NSFW if you have a dirty mind 😉

So here you go:

When they had started work at The Edge, Jay-Jay, Mike & Dom had been told their boss, Mr Wratt was a strict disciplinarian who always got what he wanted. Over time they had developed a close bond and a mutual affection had grown between them. He had even allowed them to call him by his first name – Leon.
But today things had gotten just too dirty. The Morning Madhouse trio had been very naughty and had to be punished.
Their sodden clothes lay discarded in the corner of the studio, leaving them wearing only their underwear.
Dom sat tied to his chair by microphone leads; his shirt had been rolled up and tied across his mouth, gagging him.
Jay-Jay stood next to him, her fingers pinching and twisting, her hands rubbing up and down furiously through layers of whipped cream and chocolate sauce.
Opposite her, Mike grasped a shaft so thick and stiff it required a double-handed grip. He was thrusting it backwards and forwards with reckless abandon. With each stroke it made a moist sucking sound, eliciting a muffled, gleeful giggle from Dom.
The studio windows had started to fog up when the door burst open and Leon’s chiselled form strode in, inspecting the debauched scene.
“Jay-Jay – have you finished cleaning the control desk?”
“Yes, Mr Wratt!”
“Mike – how is the carpet shampooing coming along?”
“Almost done, sir!
“Mfftphhtdfft!” grunted Dom from under his gag.
“Don’t you even bloody start, Dominic!” Growled Leon
“Having a frappuccino fight live on air was your stupid idea in the first place! Now you’ll just have to sit there and think about what you’ve done while your colleagues clean up your mess!
Jay-Jay and Mike both leered at him.
“This would make an awesome book” Thought Dom
“Fifty Shades of an Idiot!”

Why I Believe in @NZSecretSanta

Around this time for the last few years Twitter in New Zealand has been a-buzz with Christmas cheer.

The good folks at NZ Post’s Social Media Department came up with the idea of a nation-wide “Secret Santa” scheme – just like the family or office version, but on a much grander scale. I took part for the first time last year and did it again this year.

The trick to being a great SMSS (Social Media Secret Santa) is you have to be a bit of a ninja and investigator. The person you are given to be Secret Santa for can’t know you’re doing it – it’s all very sneaky-sneaky.

Fortunately, most people leave less-than-subtle hints on what they would like. Others just leave it up to the elves, but very good SMSS’s delve deeper and come up with something unexpected and wonderful.

What my Secret Santa got me was far more special than I could ever imagine.

The parcel arrived on my doorstep last Friday (speaking of ninjas, I’m pretty sure our courier driver is one – Drop, Knock, GONE!) and Mrs in Frame told me not to open it until Christmas. I lasted just under 24 hours.

While she went down to the shops and left me minding a sleeping Baby in Frame, I snuck a look at the parcel – expecting it to be wrapped up inside the box it was sent in.

It wasn’t and what I saw made me start crying.

This is what was in the box:
IMAG3062

I had an EXCEPTIONAL Secret Santa!

Whomever they were, they had scrolled through my 80+ item blog (that poor, poor, Secret Santa…) and found the blog I wrote about losing my Dad earlier this year.

More importantly, they read one of the last paragraphs and did something my Dad never got to do – soldered up a pair of angel wings for my daughter – his “Little Angel”.

It was a beautiful, heart-felt gift and I thank them with every ounce of my being. Somewhere in New Zealand’s Twitterverse someone is getting a lifetime supply of good Karma!

But it didn’t stop there – I couldn’t resist spreading the good cheer and immediately tweeted a picture of the gift and a link to the blog they got their inspiration from – The response was phenomenal!

angel

This is probably the only time that I’ve ever “gone viral” (other than when I had Chicken Pox last year…).

115 “Favourites” (people “liking” the post), 30 “Retweets” (people sharing it with their followers) and those numbers are still climbing!

This blog, which usually gets only 15-20 views a day (50 if I write something very popular or scandalous), blew out to a massive 542 views on the Saturday I posted the link and a further 110 on Sunday.

The positivity and love was wonderful – and all because of one little heartfelt gift.

I’ve said it so many times before, but I’ll say it again, because I mean it:

Thank you, my Secret Santa!

I hope you have the Merriest Christmas and the Happiest New Year!

Dibble Dribble

A rebuttal of my letter that appeared in the HB Today on Monday 15 AND Saturday 20 December 2014. DOUBLE Dibble Dribble??!!

A rebuttal of my letter that appeared in the HB Today on Monday 15 AND Saturday 20 December 2014. Does that make it DOUBLE Dibble Dribble??!!

Apparently by questioning the logic behind the MTG Foundation members spending the price of an average house in Napier on a single piece of sculpture an MTG Foundation member named Peter Gascoigne claims I am helping in the “dumbing down of modern life”

Wow! I never thought I was that influential!

Unfortunately, rather than elaborate on just HOW I am assisting in the downfall of modern society, Mr Gascoigne proceeds with the tried and tested method of unsupported claims, snobbish stereotyping and completely ignores the fact I have said nothing about the look of the Dibble sculpture, rather focusing on how a quarter of a million dollars could have been better spent!

MTG’s shortcomings have been widely recognised and criticised over the past twelve months and a lot of the responsibility for those problems should rest with past and current members of the Napier City Council who oversaw its redevelopment.

But surely anyone with such a large stake in MTG as their own foundation would be doing anything they could to assist in curing theses ills and ensuring as many of the region’s artistic works from their collection are properly looked after and are seen by as many people as possible – ensuring a higher patronage and a more successful future for the MTG. A quarter of a million dollars would certainly go some way to helping that.

The MTG Foundation and its members may have “no desire” or obligation to help contribute to the storage and display aspects of the facility meant to house the foundation’s own treasurers, but that doesn’t mean they can’t or shouldn’t. That’s not “dumbing down” anything – that’s being sensible!

As for saying my “comments seem part of the crusade to make art galleries and museums attractive to people who don’t want to go there” – Mr Gascoigne couldn’t be further from the truth.

I want EVERYONE in Hawke’s Bay to go to their Museum, art Gallery and Theatre. Because the stories, treasures and history they contain are not just yours or mine, Peter, but EVERYONE’S! From the smallest child to the oldest pensioner; From Maori Taonga to high-end conceptual art snobbery – these are the treasures of Hawke’s Bay and everyone deserves to see them!

His parting shot takes the cake, though:

“Best of all, there is no ludicrously high admission fee to see (the kowhai sculpture)”

Of course! Why bother paying to actually go into Napier’s MTG (in doing so seeing, supporting and raising money for the complex and the HB Museums Trust’s extensive collections), when you can see just one single piece donated by “thrilled” MTG Foundation members for free across the road?

Now that is a “stunning piece” of logic indeed!

Just Not Cricket

"What, Ho?" HELL NO!

“What, Ho?” HELL NO!

Sometimes an advertisement or press release comes along that shows just what can be done by someone who has almost no idea about what they’re doing.

I found just such a piece last week when I read an advertising blurb for “The Legends of Cricket Art Deco Match”

With the Cricket World Cup coming to Napier in March, local events revolving around the tournament and cricket in general are a great way to get people involved.

It’s just such a shame that whoever came up with this concept dropped the ball.

An “Art Deco” themed (of course! There is nothing else to Napier after all, is there?) celebrity cricket match is to be played at Hastings’ exclusive Clifton County Cricket Club in late February, a week before Napier’s matches start.

“The Legends of Cricket Art Deco Cricket Match will be a Twenty-Twenty game of gentle spectator cricket.

We’re taking cricket back to basics; to before it became all flashy. The legends of Cricket Match is about good, honest cricket.”

Um, no.

“Twenty-Twenty”, more commonly known as“T20” (it gets its name from each team’s batting innings lasting a maximum of twenty overs) is a “flashy” as cricket gets.

It’s quick, it can be a bit crass to purists, who call it “Hit and Giggle” and it’s BIG money in India, where the Indian Premiere League has made T20 one of the richest (and some would say the dodgiest) parts of the game.

So the event’s promoter gets a “golden duck” on their first delivery.

Onto the next ball: I have been playing club cricket in Hawke’s Bay virtually every summer Saturday for around ten years now and while I have heard of Clifton County Cricket Club, I have never seen them play, or played against them. This is because the club appears to be the only one in Hawke’s Bay to play only who they want, when they want.

I don’t consider that to be a fair representation of Hawke’s Bay’s cricketing community to be portrayed to visiting international cricket fans and media.

Just as the Cricket World Cup is a global event with teams from all over the world, club cricket in Hawke’s Bay is just as diverse. In my grade alone I’ve played with and against people from all walks of life – 12 year olds to pensioners, men and women – We have New Zealanders, Australians, English, Indians, Sri Lankans, Pakistanis, Welsh, Canadians and Cook Islanders. The other week we even faced a guy from Thailand – somewhere I was unaware even knew of the game!

Every week we get our draw from Hawke’s Bay Cricket and that weekend we all represent our clubs and teams against whomever our opponent is that game. There is no picking and choosing.

Off stump is uprooted – two wickets from two deliveries. Our bowler goes back to their mark and begins their run-up for the hat-trick:

“This is a piece of lush Hawke’s Bay turf surrounded by undulating hillside and with views out to the glistening South Pacific, this is the stuff cricket lovers can only dream of.”

One of the reasons the grounds are so “lush” is because:

“All proceeds will go to the New Zealand Department of Conservation initiatives within Clifton County Cricket Club, aimed at creating habitat and eco-systems to reintroduce native flora and fauna.”

So rather than raising money for helping develop young Hawke’s Bay cricketers, or improving grounds, pitches and nets for Hawke’s Bay cricketers in general, you’re helping raise money for landscaping CCCC’s own grounds. How nice.

They have even had help form an unusual source – Napier City Council.

Napier mayor Bill Dalton and the Napier City Council have been very supportive of the Clifton club recently – despite it being located firmly in Hastings District Council territory (whatever you do, don’t mention Amalgamation!). Council staff assisting CCCC in preparing their pitch and outfield and Mayor Bill penned a letter of support.

The only council-based correspondence Napier cricket clubs with junior and senior competitions, development and community involvement get, by comparison, is their annual, ever-increasing ground fees bill.

When Napier City Council put forward their plan to redevelop their Park Island Sports Grounds a few years ago, our cricket club which is located at the park, made suggestions including having our own clay pitch within the club grounds. We even offered to maintain it ourselves. We’re still waiting for a reply.

Middle stump topples, the bails go flying – A hat-trick! Three wickets from three consecutive balls!

Double standards and snobbish overtones abound in this proposed event.

It’s. Just. Not. Cricket!

So here’s my counter-proposal:

Have a PUBLIC GAME. Host it somewhere central – Napier’s Nelson Park, or Hastings’ Cornwall Park – or even have one game at each ground over the fortnight the Cricket World Cup is being hosted in Hawke’s Bay.

The game will be Napier vs Hastings – the mayors of each city on opposing teams (as usual) with local club players, identities, maybe even some kiwi “celebs”, international sports stars and visiting World Cup players to make up the ranks.

Have interchangeable players / fielders with those on the side-lines (mostly the keen kids) able to “tag-in” to play for a few overs.

Bring the family, bring a picnic!

Gold coin entry / donations go to developing Hawke’s Bay Cricket initiatives for all clubs, or another local charity like the Cancer Society.

THAT is what a charity cricket match in Hawke’s Bay should be!

The ball sails over the fielders, over the boundary and out of the grounds – a massive six – What a shot! The crowd goes wild!

Hawke’s Bay and Cricket deserves better!

A Giant Christmas Bauble for MTG

Napier's MTG has a new neighbour, a 4 meter tall bronze and gold kowhai blossom (Right)

Napier’s MTG has a new neighbour, a 4 meter tall bronze and gold kowhai blossom (Right)

Is it just me, or does the MTG saga just keep getting stranger and stranger?

I’ve just read that the museum’s own foundation has now donated a giant bronze and gold kowhai sculpture to the Hawke’s Bay Museums Trust and it will be displayed opposite the museum on Tennyson Street.

Now, I’m no art expert, but a four meter tall sculpture made of bronze with 24 carat gold petals (we’ll see how long they last in Hawke’s Bay’s current economic climate) must surely have cost the MTG Foundation thousands and thousands of dollars. Never mind the added cost of its’ base’s construction and ongoing charges for its permanent lighting care of the Napier City Council.

So does this mean the MTG Foundation would rather spend a sizable amount of their money on a giant, shiny bauble than using those same funds to ensure their own museum had enough suitable storage space, or was functional and attractive enough to locals and visitors to make them want to come back time and time again?

After all, what is the point of having a “MTG Foundation” – otherwise known as “The Hawke’s Bay Museums Foundation Charitable Trust” (so did they ‘donate’ this sculpture to themselves?) as collectors and protectors of the region’s treasures if there’s nowhere to properly store these works and when they are on display no one wants to go see them?

Perhaps a review of the foundation’s priorities is in order?